Thursday, May 31, 2007
Then again, giving each other something sharp and pointy at this stage in the game could be risky, so I may modify it to something like a ream of paper or a roll of quarters.
So, here are 13 benefits to being married for 18 years. The first few marked with a * are by my cell mate, soul mate, and love of my life. :D The text in italics is my commentary on his remarks.
1. *18 years of marriage = 18 years of anecdotes. (I'm guessing that means you have plenty of material to embarrass each other with)
2. *It's way past feeling like dating (and more like a prison sentence?), it's a more secure relationship.
3. *You have someone that you know will help you when you screw up. (Man, this one is soooo true... for both of us)
4. *Bodily functions aren't an issue anymore, it's a fact of life... and a good source of entertainment. (Aren't an issue for who?)
5. I know a lot of people would disagree with me on this one but- You aren't afraid to use the bathroom in front each other anymore.
6. You can usually differentiate between a tiff and a really bad fight by now, gauged by the level of each others deafening silence.
7. And , usually you have figured out how to get yourself out that sort of mess, because you've had lots of practice.
8. Hopefully buy now, you have a grip on how to handle your in-laws. (Somewhat, but not quite)
9. You don't have to worry about who you're going to eat dinner with on a Friday night.
10. Being able to laugh at each other without hurting each others feeling, because by now you've pretty much figured out what's appropriate to laugh at and whats not.
11. Learning to let the past mistakes go, and move on.
12. Experiencing love, real love (for the first time in my life) through good times and bad.
13. Not being able to imagine what life would be like without each other, and hoping for many more years together.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Seriously, I'm about this far from snapping and making her clothes for her... but lets be realistic, shall we? When my daughter decides 2 hours within receiving a new outfit that she doesn't like it anymore, at least I can return it. You can't take back that material you butchered all in the name of modesty. Nope. And you can't get back the 8 hours it took you to make that high collared, long sleeved dress and pinafore. Yeah that's right...if I had my way, I'd just wrap my kid with several layers of material and send her on her (probably not so) merry way. I could probably save myself a little time by shopping in the shower curtain department.
Yes, I kid. ;)
But seriously, how is a mother supposed to clothe her child these days? You might not have noticed but I have been a supporter of the Mom's For Modesty for awhile now. I recently read this blog post by one of my most favorite bloggers on the whole planet, which led me to this blog post by IzzyMom , I agreed with pretty much all what these blog posts had to say. The complaints that moms have are nothing new, we are tired and appalled that so many retailers and clothing designers make clothing for children that are more appropriate for teens, young adults and adults.
I can remember when Anna was just a baby 6 years ago feeling astounded and flabbergasted when i saw sexy half shirts and low cut bell bottoms for 6 month olds. Are you kidding me? Do infants really need club wear? But back then I had choices, and though at least a fourth of what was out there was considered "hoochie" (pardon the term) by me and many of my coworkers and friends, we could still find clothes to suit our tastes for our girls.
This year it has become increasingly harder for me to find just a few items that I find suitable for a 6 yr old, and when i do... let me tell you, I buy one in each color. All year long I have been doing my best to fight this new trend that all shirts should be extra long and virtually skin tight. Anna isn't fat, the kid isn't even chubby, but she's built Ford Tough if you know what I mean. This girl is solid and her back and torso are like her dad's, a little more on the broad side. How the heck am I supposed to get this kid in a tank top that doesn't even have any stretch or give? In order to find her tops that fit her (meaning she doesn't need a shoe horn to get into them, and aren't skin tight) I have to go up a size, which means that the collar of the shirt will probably come down too low to cover her properly, and the hem of the top will come down past her thighs. Which leads me to great frustration and agitation, not only one my own behalf but because my 6 yr old is whining and complaining that she likes the shirt and doesn't see anything wrong with the one that we wrestled onto her body. So and so has that top, and she saw celebrity A, B, and C wearing those kinds of shirts on the Disney Channel.
Don't even get me started on hip huggers that threaten to show a little butt cleavage, padded bras and chemises that come in sizes small enough for preschoolers. The world has gone mad, I tell you, and I refuse to let it take me along for the ride. My quest for age appropriate attire for my children will continue, and I refuse to settle for what is out there. If I have to shop online, by golly that's what I'm going to do, and what I have been doing for over a year now. If that means that I have to alter a few pieces here and there, including shortening tank top straps and shirt hems, that's what I'll do... like the 5 tank tops I have altered this week. If I have to dress my kids in modifies shower curtains, I'll do that too. ;)
I refuse to settle for the world's standards.
Who's with me?
Monday, May 28, 2007
I have to admit that I am not innocent when it comes to this. A few months ago I went off on a rant about how I thought the opinion of another person was basically misogynistic and unwarranted, and this persons opinions I felt affected me... over a silly blog award I was nominated for (along with many others). Even though I thought that I was justified in my own opinion... what I said was hurtful to this other person.
I tried to apologize, but to no avail. The damage was done. I'm a hot head, what can I say? The way in which I voiced my opinion was very hard and cold.
But I did try to make things right, despite feeling that the only thing I had done wrong was to voice my opinion in cyber space where this person (who I thought didn't read my blog anymore) could find it...
I had started a post but deleted it, a post in which I tried to figure out why words from internet acquaintances hurt and cut so deep.
Recently someone commented on my blog about something very silly, but they didn't see it as silly. They typed four simple words that I tried to shake off. It hurt. I was told in so many words that I was messed up.
Those four words have been bothering me for over 2 weeks now. While living life without an internet connection, I contemplated giving it up. I wonder to myself how I could let a stranger affect me so. ***BTW, don't bother to find the post/comments, I deleted the whole thing already***
Here is my theory. There is a safety to living a life on the net, in written words. In the web and blogoshpere, you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets. You can face you demons and be more honest than you would dare to be in real life, with your friends and family. I have noticed this bizarre phenomenon where complete strangers bond, and become dear friends. On the net we learn to trust people with our heart and soul, something we are sometimes unable to achieve in the real world.
Just like in real life, blunt and hurtful words can cut to the quick of a persons soul... and considering my theory that people tend to be more open and honest on the net, enabling people to make deep friendships in little time... those words can hurt even more.
So, here we are being brutally honest with each other in cyber space, and sometimes just downright brutal. We are opening ourselves up and entrusting our deepest feelings to the unknown- feelings that we sometimes cannot bear to share with our own loved ones... and when that trust is betrayed, the outcome can be devastating.
I'm all for honesty. I think if you have been reading my blog for a while you might have noticed that I try my hardest to lay it all out there and be accountable ( and the fact that I am incredibly dorky, and try not to take myself too seriously). I learned a lesson months ago, and this lesson has been revisited by the tables being turned on me.
I learned the hard way that somethings just can't be taken back, no matter how hard you try. Revisiting the mistake that was made months ago, and the realization that I came to... because of four words.
I made a vow to myself to keep my rants to myself when it comes to someone who has the slightest chance of reading my blog, and instead I bend the husbands ear. I still rant, just not via keyboard.
No matter how justified you feel, it's not worth hurting another person over, and in 10 years it wont matter.
So no matter how much four words can hurt a person, I refuse to lash out (like before), this person is entitled to think that I'm messed up. That's their opinion. If that is what they come away with from reading my blog, my honesty and dorkiness... there is not much I can to to convince them otherwise.
I'm thinking though that if this person was really the blogging friend they claimed to be, they never would have commented that way and in such a public manner... on my own blog.
I have been struggling with my worth, what my value is to the blogosphere since those four words. I know that my blog hasn't been as positive as I would like it to be, and that I have gone a little down hill. When I started this blog I was trying to be something that I wasn't. Then I realized that was wasn't being real, and that was why people weren't commenting or coming back. I decided to try to change myself for the better, some days are better than others, but after a year I am comfortable in my blogging skin. This the real me... in all my sarcastic, dorky, and brutally honest glory. I can only be me, and if someone looks at what I am after all of that and tell me that I am messed up... OUCH.
But ya know, this person never got the real me to begin with, or I was never going to be good enough.
I vowed to myself ( after my rant fiasco a few months back) to try my absolute best to be kind, and if I don't agree with something to try to bite my tongue and move on. If I really have the need to express my opposing opinion on something another person has written, especially something that has hurt me or offended me, perhaps it's best handled via private communications.
It's just not worth it.
Friday, May 25, 2007
We had these pictures done on Saturday... I am a little disappointed with the background not being completely white and the floral print showing through, but they turned out pretty good I think. Anna is self conscious about her smile for some reason, and tends to cover her teeth. Silly girl! We keep telling her she is beautiful, but she just doesn't get it. The more we try to tell her to smile nice, the more self conscious she gets.
To get her to smile that gorgeous smile she has, I had to dance and make (fake) farting noises. I tell you, the things we do, huh?
On the way out , a mom was holding her infant and waiting for pictures to be done. I told Anna that I couldn't believe that she used to be that tiny, and what a beautiful, big girl she has become.
To which she said, while shaking her head and smiling, "Oh man, I know what's coming next..."
What- I say, as the tears begin to form in my eyes.
"You're going to start crying."
My girl, she knows me so well. ;)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Through my open dining room window I hear someone gasp "I can't breath" several times, then hear a female say something about calling 911. I look at John an d ask if I should go check it out, only because it's dark now and we sometimes have unsavory folk and rowdy teens walking around at night. He says sure. I hesitate because I will have to go out alone while he stays inside with the girls, but after a few seconds I grab my cell and I go out to look around my block and ask my neighbor across the street if he had heard anything.
I explain to him what I heard, but don't see anyone. My neighbor points through the dark and across the alley at the neighbors yard, there is a dark form on the ground that I hadn't noticed before. We rush over and a teen with his eyes swollen shut is hyperventilating, and he has a very large bump on his head. I ask him what happened, he says he can't remember as I call 911. He is rocking back and forth from the pain in his head, and is having more difficulty breathing, we hear sirens and I tell him to hang on and try to take slower breaths and to calm down.
The fire trucks go down the wrong street, and the sirens fade... the teen is gasping and I frantically wonder to myself if after 6 years of not working as a nurse if I will remember how to do CPR correctly. After what seemed like an eternity, the fire truck and police car find us just as the young man slumps over and begins to gasp for breath and and gag, he is on his side which will help in keeping his air way clear if he vomits.
They arrive and start working on him... and I think knowing that they were there even though he couldn't open his eyes to see them, helped calm him a little. Oxygen, a cervical collar to his neck and a spine board... he still doesn't remember what happened and we only have what I heard to go on. That is until a very guilty teen aged girl shows up screaming and crying. It seems that they had a fight, he fell and said he couldn't breathe . She thought he was just messing with her and told him that she should call 911 but just left him there. All of this happened after they left a kegger at a graduation party.
I started to shake. I almost didn't go out. That little voice kept nagging me that I needed to go, in the dark and by myself, that it would be fine. I'm not patting myself on the back. What I'm saying is that I had a choice and faltered... what could have happened if I had waited any longer or not gone out at all?
The next day we went over across the alley again to my neighbor Jenny's house. She thanks me for coming out and finding that teen and saving him, but also saving a stressed and 8 weeks pregnant her from finding a dead teen on her lawn.
I don't know yet what happened to the kid, I wish I could find out.
I hope that one day, if my girls are ever in trouble that a kind neighbor will do the same for them. I hope though that my kids never find themselves in a situation like that... but I was a teen once too! *sigh* I guess you never stop worrying.
The joys of parenting teens... I can't wait. I hope that little voice sticks around for a very long time, and I hope that I always listen. Especially when it comes to my kids.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Hi there! I'm a bit shaky right now seen as I am getting my first internet fix in 13 days ( the MISU posted the last post for me at work)... It's kind of like going cold turkey without coffee, then starting up again after 2 weeks. The first few days are very exhausting and depressing, and life without internet and cable has been interesting. Today, I am exhilarated by the feel of keyboard, and quite frankly- a little giddy. There's nothing like getting your fix!
Let me just say that the day our "unconnected" cable was disconnected (the call was to our local Mediacom office BTW, not overseas), the hubs and I had a rant fest with each other over the phone while he was at work. Given the previous episode where my husband forgot to pay the cable bill for 83 days (remember that?) and our cable was disconnected without warning just a month ago... we were already primed so to speak. Expletives were exchanged over the phone between John and I 13 days ago, not at each other but towards the cable monopoly from hell.
John was furious and said screw it, we were just going to have to live without cable and internet for 3 or 4 months. To which I growled, (think The Exorcist)" I don't care about cable. We can go without that. But there is no way I'M GOING 4 MONTHS WITHOUT HIGH SPEED INTERNET."
Silly, selfish me. What I realize now is that though going 4 months without TV could have it's benefits (us doing more stuff as a family instead of being stuck in front of the boob tube), it also has it's downside (having to change DVDs and tapes frequently, and hearing a 6 yr old moan and groan about being bored during the days this summer when it will undoubtedly be to hot to go outside until evening).
We still do not have cable, and John is thinking that we can go 3 or 4 months of the kids watching the same DVDs and tapes without any complaining. I think he forgot that Anna will be out of school the end of this month... I reminded him last night while he was hooking up the DSL line. "3 months without TV... (dramatic pause) during the summer? You're kidding, right?"
Nope, he's not kidding. The summer should be interesting. I'm no candidate for Mother of the year, I'll fully admit that I let the kids eat breakfast while watching morning shows during the summer so I can get some house work done in hopes that we will make it outside in between Emma's naps. I also let them watch when I take a shower, in hopes that I will have a few minutes of peace without shrieking and crying. I also let them watch while I'm blogging. When aren't they watching TV? Good question. While they are sleeping? I told you, I'm not perfect. I do shut off the tube and we do go for hours without it on some days... Beside, not to toot their horns but I think we all know that my kids aren't lacking or suffering in the intelligence department. If anything we have considered giving them a smoke with their morning cuppa joe to stunt their over active brains.
I kid people, I kid! I would never do that.
Then blog about it. ;)
So maybe not having TV will be a good thing. I'll have to be more involved and probably have to plan activities so that they don't terrorize each other. We'll get outside more and try to actually get along without the inevitable emotional scarring that yelling, time outs and the occasional swat on the butt brings.
OR I could tell the hubby that having TV available would be beneficial for the whole family (if you get my meaning), because on those rough days I have no energy left for hubby time. ;) It's not bribery, it's the God's honest truth. I would be perfectly happy with making a no TV rule for 3 days out of the week in order to be more organized this summer (except for maybe an hour in the evening for family wind down time). But going the entire summer without TV? Insanity.
I have to make myself a work out schedule, so why not schedule TV days too? I've scheduled chore days in the past during the summer months because other wise the house becomes a bear den of food debris and dirty laundry, we just have too much fun during the lazy months of summer. I assure you, it ain't pretty.
I'm not opposed to change. OK, let's be honest here... Not completely opposed to change. Making a schedule is easy, sticking to it- not so much. Which means I will also probably have to pencil in blog time. *sigh* We'll see what happens.
I leave you with this Emma-ism:
Which boggles the mind because like her mentor at that age, doing the do is usually a tearful struggle on both of our parts, usually ending with one of us crying out for daddy. I often wonder if the price of beauty ( or in Em's case, extreme and utter CUTENESS) is worth it.
ANYWHOOO, this day was a lazy day and I decided that running to Target did not warrant the suffering that adorable and curly pig tails bring, so I settle on a simple hair clip.
In the car, on the way, I hear the pip squeak pipe up:
Knock ihh off, momma.
Which, by the way, is usually what I say when she is uprooting clumps of hair from her scalp in order to be pig tail free.
I turn around and look at her questioningly, just in time to see her rip the hair clip from her head with a vengeance.
I turn back around and mumble to John, "Just she just say knock it off?"
Dat's white, momma. I said "Knock ihh off". She brandishes the hair clip as if it is her Sword in the Stone, just out of reach.
*note to self, add French Roast and Camels to the grocery list*
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Dear Amber- AKA Cable Monopoly Customer Service Representative From Hades,
I just want you to know that by not reaching through the phone and pummeling you with the nearest stick like object- or better yet driving down there to assault you with my own stick like object... I probably saved you and me a lot of heart ache, and well, quite frankly for me- jail time.
Suzie,I suppose that when you told me that I was mistaken, that no- I didn't keep my appointment with said cable monopoly (MEDIACOM), and that the cable man had not knocked on my door to tell me that he was reconnecting my cable, then a few minutes later did not knocked again to ask me if my service was running properly... in essence you were calling me a raving lunatic because I had imagined all of that BECAUSE the little black box in front of you said so. Oh no, the computer couldn't possibly be wrong! I'm sure that you might believe that all the employees of the cable monopoly from hell are super human and infallible, that they absolutely could NOT have made a mistake.
I simply imagined it all because almighty and magical thinking box on your desk said so. According to you, my cable was never hooked up though you just admitted that you sent someone out to disconnect the service because we never paid the reconnect fees. Well, darling... how exactly does one disconnect something that was never connected, in YOUR opinion? Mystical electronic box of words, right?
No Brittany, a cable man of average height and weight did- I assure you- knock upon my door and stand withing it's threshold to inform me that he would be doing me the kindness of reconnecting my cable. AND he did indeed grace me with his presence yet again to ask if my service was working properly.
Just know that as you yelled over me and refused to hear my concerns I saw my life flash before my eyes , including the parts where I stand up before the judge to read my essay and plea for leniency titled "Why Beating Someone Senseless With Their Own Headset And Keyboard Is Wrong AND What I Learned While I Was In Anger Management Camp For The Last Three Months"... to be sure, Tiffany, you aren't worth the trouble.
My dear, interrupting me, accusing me of being a delusional idiot, speaking to me in a sarcastic tone, and refusing to accept the fact that we had indeed paid the reconnect fee that was reduced by one of your coworkers from $27.50 to $10, after you telling me that that was a mistake and we had to pay the full 27.50, and being a complete and utter unaccommodating shrew has cost your company $1200 a year. We will NOT be paying your 27.50 plus first month's service, in fact we WILL be taking our business elsewhere.
Chew on that.
Oh yeah, one more thing... I spared you 6 months in a body cast. You can thank me later. *wink*
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
In any case, we will be getting a new provider shortly.
More to come.
Edit to add... the MISU actually wrote this for me. I have a blog post prepared but of course as I sit here at the MISU's work desk... I seemed to have misplaced the word doc. How dorky of me!
How many weeks without internet, that is the question. Mediacom (The Cable Monopoly from hell) bites... they really chapped my butt this time. The MISU too. We are switching to Qwest for phone and DSL and are shopping for good dish rates.
Hope to post again soon, from the comfort of the sweet MISU's work. Hope all is well with you guys...Talk to you soon!
Anna- Nana, we are going to the farm near our school this week! And they want some moms and dads to come and help...
MIL- Well, I could go if you wanted, I'm off that day.
What about your mom?
Well, moms can come, but no pets or little sisters... only if they are on leashes.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The content and the exhausted,
The happy and the frazzled...
For all the moms who gave life
and chose to give it away,
And all the moms who prayed for a
child and gave a child a home...
For the moms who cry, love,
mourn, laugh, worry, sacrifice,
I hope that you know that you have
made a difference in the world,
and that you have a beautiful Mother's day.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I can't get this song out of my head now!
Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com
Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com
Note the song on this one...
Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com
1. Tears For Fears Shout
2.Robert Palmer Addicted to Love
3. Duran Duran Hungry Like A Wolf
4. Wham Everything She Wants
5. AHA Take On Me
6. Tears For Fears Everybody Wants To Rule The World
7. Whitney Houston Dance With Somebody
8.Human League Human
9. Human League Don't You Want Me
10. Madonna Borderline
11. Cindy Lauper Girls Just Want To Have Fun
12. Samantha Fox Touch me
13. The Eurythmics Sweet Dreams
Pop Goes My Heart (and yes, this is actually Hugh Grant dancing and singing in this video, *snort*)
This brings back so many memories, I can't tell you! This video makes me think of the days when synthesizers were popular and the videos were very cheesy like: Tears For Fears, Duran Duran, Wham, and AHA. ( see my Thursday Thirteen above for links to actual videos)
All these songs/videos I loved. *cringe* I can just picture myself in my slouch socks and scrunchied, permed pony tail placed high on my head, high waisted pleat front shorts and my shirt tucked in to reveal the perfect amount of blousing. *gasp* One or more of those items of clothing might have had stripes or a black and white checked pattern, including possibly my over sized Claire's Boutique earrings and ginourmous bangle bracelet.
One word... Bershon.
Anyway, this movie was very cute. I really liked it... but I enjoyed reminiscing even more. ;)
BTW, if you want to see a good Drew Barrymore movie, you should check out My Date With Drew.
I saw this movie about a year ago and loved it. It's a true story about a young guy who just wants one date with Drew... it warm, funny, and very heartfelt. I loved this movie, and you can see from the film that Drew isn't an act. She's the real deal. If you like that sort of thing check it out! I rented it through Netflix. :D You can watch the trailer here.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
I made this the other day for Wordless Wednesday at Dork Bloggers... You know I couldn't help myself. I just had to make more.
I'm very proud of the Star Wars ones, I made the silhouettes and light sabers myself. I should have made one that said iObsess! Go get yours here :D
You can thank me later. ;)
2. I can't weach it- she is obsessed with canned goods and likes to take the extra syrup and mustard out of my canned goods section and carry them around like a security blanket.
3. I can't fine it- with a shrug, after I asked her to find her sippy cup... that was just inches from her cute little toes.
4. I ripped it- after passing gas. *giggles*
5. Peeeeeese?- Oh good grief! Begging she has picked up from her big sister and mentor.
6. Wub my back. Wub my back, peeeeeeeese?- Bed time, she has learned to manipulate the parents... knowing full well that there are nights that we would answer her pleas just to get her to go to sleep.
7. Wub my head? Wub my hair? Peeeeeese, mommy? Peeeese? One mo' time?- see number 6.
8. Yo' welcuh, mommy- After I said thanks for stepping on my toes while she was wearing Anna's shoes, again.
9. I wan chee boagoah- Apparently she wanted a cheese burger.
10. What dis? MY POOP? EWWWW, mommy! MY POOP!- She freaked out the other day because a nugget of poopy goodness fell out of her diaper while she sat on the couch. She picked it up, not knowing what it was. Anna- the mentor and big sis- and I had a good giggle, but only after a HAZMAT clean up was deployed.
11. I got heew fust!- She said after racing (and beating me) me to my favorite spot on the couch. The little stinker.
12. I wan use potty- Boy was I surprised! Especially after I found out that she just wanted to "use it" to store her toys.
13. I sawwy too- She said after I apologized for yelling at her, she apologized for being naughty. :D