Wowsers!!!

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Let's see, where to start...

The beginning of May I moved John and I back into our larger room and the girls back to the smaller because they never use their room. We were having a hard time fitting everything we needed into our room including a crib. I painted the room an oceanic blue, and we decorated for Baby Jacob:
I had a wonderful baby shower May 23rd given by one of my sweet coworkers :D they know that we were starting from scratch and decided we needed to have a shower. It was cozy and laid back and we got some really cute stuff!

We also have been given lots of stuff by so many loving and generous people! Car seats and Exersaucers, baby clothes... you name it! Best of all my blogging buddies hooked me up! Maggie sent me some REALLY adorable baby jammies and outfits! These are only a few of the things Maggie sent me :D
And my BFF Michelle has sent be so much... where to start! Here is a onsie she bought off Etsy, so cute!And this set of letters she made that match the baby's room completely!
Besides that, I'm huge. Just enormous. A week ago I had an ultrasound because he is measuring too large, it turns out I was supposed 31 weeks 2 days and he should have been 3 lbs 6 oz, but his size was reading 32 weeks 6 days and 4 lb12 oz. So today I could be 32 1/2 weeks OR 34 weeks. Want proof of my ginormousness?

Taken May 23rd


Taken June 3rd, you can see how we've grown in just over a week :)

So there you have it, I'll find out on the 10th when my doc thinks I'm due based on the new ultrasound and when he wants to reschedule the c section for. It was supposed to be the 26th of July. Otherwise, just finishing up baby quilts and burp cloths and last minute shopping. I'm so big I wonder if I will even make it to the new revised date I'll be getting next week.

I know he needs to cook a bit more, but he's just so big and I'm sooo uncomfortable.

Oh, I forgot to mention that despite almost calling it quits (again) a year ago, we celebrated our 21st anniversary yesterday:) And Emma graduated from preschool today!

Life is good. :)

Belly belly!!!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy... I am huge!!! These were taken yesterday :)

4 1/2 months or 21 weeks. I don't even want to think about how big I will be at the end. *SIGH* The good news is that I am off work now because I have been having very intense Braxton-Hicks contractions (which started at 2 1/2 months!!!) that sometimes lead to actual cramping. Sometimes I can be on my feet for an hour, and sometimes only 5-10 mins before I start having them again. We will miss the extra income but let's face it... I worked at Target on the sales floor. It's not like I was making bank.

Anywho, I ordered a crib in ebony to match the wood finish in my bedroom since Baby Jacob will be sharing a room with mom and dad for the first year, It only cost me just over 200.00 with free shipping, woot!!!

And this crib set, which I love!!! It's been really fun shopping for boy stuff so far :DSince we gave everything away, John's coworker (who has twin boys) will be generously giving us 2 infant car seats with bases and lots of baby clothes... which I am very excited about! Chances are anything we did have would have been recalled or too old anyway since Anna just turned 9.

I am getting more and more used to the idea, since he lets me know he's in there quite frequently with lots of kicks and bumps. I do love him already, how could I not?

The best thing? Emma and Anna gave me hugs goodnight last night, then rubbed the belly and said, "Goodnight, Jacob." So sweet!

Sooo, guess what?

Long time huh? I haven't updated in 9 months and I doubt anyone reads anymore anyway, but... John and I have decided to give it another go, and have been working on things since about August.

Anyway, guess who suspected she was preggers, decided she couldn't wait to get home to take a test so made a trip to the bathroom while shopping at Wally World for Thanksgiving dinner? And guess who-after having a mini nervous breakdown in said bathroom- left her cart, stumbled dazed and confused out of the store without purchasing the pregnancy test?

Yup, I am one classy b*tch, yo. Par for the course.

I will be 8 weeks next Tuesday. I had my first ultrasound this last Tuesday to make sure it was not ectopic. So far so good, saw the heart beat, the girls are very excited. A bit more excited than mom and dad at the moment, but I know we will get there.

I am constantly, and quite cheerfully reminded by a coworker of how lucky we are considering we were infertile the first 10 years of marriage, that we should be ecstatic.. I just smile and nod, while imagining myself barfing on her shoes. Then calling for a clean up on aisle 3 :)

So, we are starting from scratch since we gave away all of our baby stuff... not that some of it would be usable anyway, most of it would be 8 yrs old. We have to add a room in our walk up attic, buy a bigger car.

And plan the MISU's vasectomy ASAHP.

Hmm, Christmas is just around the corner. ;)

YES!

I have good news... it's better than good news actually :D OK, for John and I it is. NO I'M NOT KNOCKED UP, don't even think it!

Toi toi toi, evil eye, evil eye!
Yes I'm in a weird mood, and no, I have no idea what I just said. :P

Since birth, Emma has been stubborn, opinionated and rigid. She fits right in. ;) Not to be unkind, let me explain what I mean. Besides head butting me on a regular basis when she was crying or upset about something, she also liked to head butt me when she didn't have my full attention... as in me trying to type with one hand while trying to get her to sleep. Another interesting thing about Emma was the fact that even though she eventually got used to sleeping in her crib for naps, and even though it only took us about a week to get her to go down without us being in the room with only her Fisher Price birdies to lull her to sleep... she would absolutely have a meltdown and refuse to sleep in her crib at night, even though she went down for a nap in her crib several times a day without a problem. At night, she wanted to be in bed with mom or dad. We had to take our mattress off the frame and put it on the floor, and one of us has to lay with her until she went to sleep, then we would slip her into her crib, and she would wake up after a few hours and we would have to start all over again sometimes. We are talking 3-4 months here folks... Yes, she was THAT stubborn at that age.

Then at 11 months, she moved from her crib to a full sized mattress on the floor and shared a room with her sister. We still had to lay down with her until she went to sleep, usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours. A few frustrating times, it even took almost 3 HOURS!

Again, we got her to lay down for naps pretty easily, only now she was in bed instead of her crib, and she still had her birdies to comfort her to sleep. BUT... still at night, she wanted mom or dad to snuggle with her until she fell asleep.

Eight months ago I tried to get her to go to sleep on her own, and she cried hysterically. It was heart breaking, so of course I couldn't go through with it. John and I trade nights putting her to bed, so it was guaranteed that you were going to have your patience tested while she climbed out of bed when she thought you were sleeping, had her poke you in the face while she thought you were sleeping, and even had you patience tested when she did these things after you actually fell asleep before she did... out of exhaustion or sheer boredom.

Well my friends, her 3rd birthday is quickly approaching. Believe it or not, Anna at this age was just as stubborn, only it was about potty training. At this age, Anna was just finally potty trained while Emma has been now for about 3 or 4 months. And at this age we were still trying to get Anna to sleep on her own, but didn't succeed until just before Emma was born. After Emma moved into Anna's room, Anna declared that it was not fair that Emma got to have snuggle time at bed time and she didn't... so one of us would snuggle with her and the other with Emma. Sheesh.

Over the last few weeks I have been brainwashing encouraging Emma to sleep on her own and said that she would be a big girl like her big sis if she could go night-night JUST like she does at nap time, and that bedtime is no different from nap time during the day.

Last night was John's turn to put her to bed, but Emma wanted mommy. I told her it was daddy's turn and she started to cry, "I don't want daddy. I'll go to bed by myself."

Instead of making it a big or negative deal out of it, I talked excitedly about what a big girl she was and how this was a big, exciting deal! And just when I saw a glimmer of doubt in her eyes I did what any desperate good parent would do...

I bribed her with money. Daddy took my cue and talked animatedly about how she could save her money and get those toys at the store she was always asking for but we never buy (cuz we are po', and we are mean like that).

"Yay! Toys! I want money, I want coins for my bank!"

John and I grinned at each other. mean while, it was my turn to snuggle with Anna at bedtime. After John spent about 10 minutes snuggling with Emma and getting her settled in bed, he went downstairs. I explained to Anna that I would be going downstairs too. While her not yet but almost 3 year old sister (most likely) lay quietly in her bed, playing with a stuffed animal... not making a peep, Emma's now 7 year old sister was weeping like a baby. I explained that it wouldn't be fair to Em for us to stay the usual 1/2 hour to 45 minutes with Anna, and that we would snuggle and say prayers and then I would be going down stairs.

Anna amped it up a notch. Again,I did what any desperate good parent would do and I threatened to take away computer privileges for the whole weekend if she cried loud enough to upset Emma, and make her cry. I also explained that the usual ratio of night time activities to snuggling could still occur, it would just have to happen before bedtime.

Good lord, people... it was if I had killed her puppy, Hannah Montana and Zac Effron all in one horrible and tragic dog walking hit and run. Really.

To make a short story longggggggg, Emma slept through the night after complaining only twice (about being hungry, and her belly not feeling good), and after consoling her then giving her medicine she was good.

What a gift this is... to have back 2 hours every other day. John and I can actually have comprehensible/adult conversations, we can enjoy watching movies together again. We can have mommy/daddy time again, which , when you think about it, hasn't really happened since the 2 1/2 months before Emma was born. Two and half short months of time together, which doesn't really count because we were stress and exhausted from being preggers.

the down side? At least an hour of work per week will be going to the kids for bribes/allowance LOL! Yeah, that's how little I make right now.

I'm wondering if 20 years from now we'll be sick of looking at each other (slightly annoyed at the very least) and wish to have those little boogers back to snuggle with.

I bet we will. ;)

So long good friend, RIP.

Dearest friend,

I am so sorry that I never told you how much I loved you and now you are gone. I just can't believe it. I am saddened by absence of your humming, the house seems so empty without it.

All the hours we spent in the kitchen together will be remembered with fondness, and I will never forget your tireless energy and your willingness to help me with menial task of washing my dishes.

You carried about your business in the kitchen like nothing was wrong, and I am almost angry that you gave me no warning that you were having issues with your health and would soon die. Yesterday, I knew something was wrong when you just didn't care anymore and decided to smoke for the first time... and just moments before I had to pull the plug, you made odd sputtering and popping noises.

I sensed a spark in you at that moment, a great and horrible spark that I never knew you even had in you. It was almost as if you had decided that life could be summed up in the way in which you left this earth, that your final act would be a memorable one. If only you had warned me, shown some sign that something was amiss... I could have had someone take a look at you and fix what had been ailing you.

I didn't know that the slight leaking from your bottom was that serious. Maybe that was the sign that you were trying to show me... and I ignored it like a fool. I just cleaned up after you and went on believing that everything was alright.

You cold body remains in my kitchen and it is horrifying to me that soon you will sit out in the cold, frozen, for anyone to harvest your parts if they wish. The thought of strangers touching you is almost more than I can bear. I only wish that we had the money to dispose of you properly.

I hope you do not think poorly of me and will understand when I eventually move on and search for another to fill the void.

You once brought Joy and Sunlight into my life, and I feel a gentle warmth Cascade over me when I think of our time together. Dishwasher... you will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace.

1995?-2007

~mert