Sometimes it feels like 100 years ago, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I married my soul mate and love of my life.
Our 25+ years together has been bumpy, rocky and sometimes seemingly impassable, but here we are one year shy of our silver anniversary. I can only attribute that to the both of us growing into stronger and more forgiving people, and having faith.
Twenty-five years ago my mother told me we would never last. She blamed John for almost killing me after I was very near death from a tubal pregnancy. She sat my then fiance' down and told him I was damaged goods and he deserved better because I had been sexually abused- right in front of me like I wasn't even there, meanwhile John sat calmly and let her finish, then told her plainly that I had told him EVERYTHING about my childhood. Her sabotage didn't work, thank God, because I had been completely honest with him in our first week of dating.
She made me change my wedding date 4 different times because she had plans, unwilling to change her plans for my wedding. She took control of my wedding planning and told John he could only invite 15 people out of 250 invites because she was going to pay for the reception as a gift. She eventually threw me a wedding shower but then kept all the gifts that I had stored at their house while I was in the Navy, all because John argued that 15 people were not enough from his side. She cancelled the wedding reception, kept my shower gifts AND told me she had prayed and God told her she (and the rest of my family) wasn't allowed to go to the wedding... then lied to my brothers that because I was mad I had uninvited all of them.
My mother's pastor grudgingly held our wedding ceremony in a dirty church with small pieces of lint and paper scraps in the aisle, after my mother - I am sure- told him how I had been disrespectful to her. He didn't look at me a single time during the wedding ceremony, which was certainly rushed and maybe lasted 10-15 minutes. He glanced at John a few times but only looked over my head.
None of my immediate family came to our wedding, but my mother's sister and her family came, including my aunt's in-laws who let us call them "granny" and "gramps" as kids. My art teacher from high school came, I was and still am so very touched she would do that for me. We had navy friends there, and John had quite a few family members that flew and drove from Iowa and Virginia. I had my great grandmother and some high school friends who showed up for me as well.
We had about maybe 40 people show up to our wedding, but some of the guests did not go to the reception. All in all, we spent 1000.00 for our wedding, my off the rack wedding dress costing just under half of that. The rest was spent on flowers, a 2 tier wedding cake and flowers we ordered from a grocery store, and John and his brother's tuxedo rentals. Luckily a family friend and mom of one of my high school classmates had heard about how my mother had treated us and she graciously approached John and I about having our reception at her house near her pool, and she and another family friend bought and cooked the food for us for a measly 100.00. What a blessing that was!
When it came time for the wedding to begin, I almost had a nervous breakdown because John decided that arriving 5 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start was completely appropriate! I figured after all the craziness he has experienced from my family during our 11 month engagement, he had probably gotten cold feet.
I still missed having my family there, but was very thankful for the family that did show up; my aunt and her family, and my art teacher- who secretly I had always wished had been my cool and quirky mom. I was very blessed to have had a father-in-law who had been sweet enough to ask me if he could walk me down the aisle, even though we hadn't met yet.
The first 25 years of our relationship- just like our wedding day- has been bitter sweet, but mostly sweet. I willingly give my husband most of the credit,
though. He knows how genuinely messed up I am and loves me despite all
of it. He knows me like no other, he knows all of my dark
secrets. Every. Single. One. And I am almost positive that I know all of
his. We are both damaged from our childhoods. Sometimes we can be rough
around the edges but we manage to love each other through it, because we see value in all that we have conquered in the past.
What
makes our relationship continue to grow despite rough patches? I think it's because our valleys have been so low at times
that it makes the high points that much higher. It's the bitter in the bittersweet that makes it all that much richer and sweeter.
My younger brother told me a few years ago that considering I was the black sheep of the family, he had always thought that I would be the one married 3 times with all sorts of kids. We both had a good laugh out of that since he and my older brother have both been married 3 times each, and here I am chugging along in my imperfect but lengthy marriage.
From meager and troubled beginnings we came... A 19 year old bride and a
21 year old groom.We were talking last night in bed, just an hour into
our official 24th anniversary. Looking back, we would have still kept
our wedding small if it meant we would do it our way, on our terms.
OR
used that 1000.00 to get married in Vegas. *wink*
To my husband, The Male Income Support Unit:
I love you, John. Thank you for loving me when I was unlovable, forgiving me when I was unforgivable, and for understanding my crazy from it's deepest roots. Thank you for giving me 3 adorable kids and 25 years.
The first 25 years have been a doozy... I can't wait to see where we go
from here! All I can say is it better not involve me getting pregnant
again.
Love,
Me
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friend. Show all posts
Monday, June 03, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
It's been a year
One year ago today I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and it's been one roller coaster of a year for sure. It's been a long, dark and scary back alley of a year in some respects; an alley that I thought I was destined to walk alone, desperately looking over my shoulder as I scrambled to find an exit or some safe haven from the horrible unknown that skittered in the dark closely behind me.
Then around a week later my best friend in the whole world was diagnosed, and in the most odd/bizarre/tragic/morbid/comical way... suddenly I was not alone. We traveled together, huddled in the dark while taking turns shining a flashlight for each other; shedding light on pitfalls and outright stumbling blocks in our path.
We have laughed and cried together out of grief and terror, we have fallen silent and morose. We have joked about the possibilities of the illness, and have related to each other in ways that even our loved ones fail to comprehend. Monique and I both have a better understanding of what we are dealing with, and we have shared a wealth of knowledge with each other.
In these ways, my life has somehow become richer. Through common ground and despair, we have connected on a level I never thought was possible. We had discovered mere months before being diagnosed that we were best friends, already a friendship deeper than ANY friendship I have ever had outside of my marriage. So deep in fact that she asked that I be the godmother to her unborn daughter. :) We have so many similarities, so many odd things in common that it's mind boggling... then to have this happen?
The most mind blowing thing from all of this is that we have not met in person yet. In just 14 days I get to meet my other soul mate, my sister from another mister... my life doppelganger.
I am so thankful and utterly grateful to have her in my life. We have gotten each other through so many rough spots in the last 12 months, and have created a relationship bound (and gagged) in love and laughter since July 2011.
Simply put, I could not have gotten through this last year without her*.
I cannot wait to see where this road goes next, Monique "Bella Boo"!
I'm positive. *wink*
*Of course it goes without saying that I could not have gotten through this year without my loving and supportive husband, who is the yin to my yang. Love you MISU!
Then around a week later my best friend in the whole world was diagnosed, and in the most odd/bizarre/tragic/morbid/comical way... suddenly I was not alone. We traveled together, huddled in the dark while taking turns shining a flashlight for each other; shedding light on pitfalls and outright stumbling blocks in our path.
We have laughed and cried together out of grief and terror, we have fallen silent and morose. We have joked about the possibilities of the illness, and have related to each other in ways that even our loved ones fail to comprehend. Monique and I both have a better understanding of what we are dealing with, and we have shared a wealth of knowledge with each other.
In these ways, my life has somehow become richer. Through common ground and despair, we have connected on a level I never thought was possible. We had discovered mere months before being diagnosed that we were best friends, already a friendship deeper than ANY friendship I have ever had outside of my marriage. So deep in fact that she asked that I be the godmother to her unborn daughter. :) We have so many similarities, so many odd things in common that it's mind boggling... then to have this happen?
The most mind blowing thing from all of this is that we have not met in person yet. In just 14 days I get to meet my other soul mate, my sister from another mister... my life doppelganger.
I am so thankful and utterly grateful to have her in my life. We have gotten each other through so many rough spots in the last 12 months, and have created a relationship bound (and gagged) in love and laughter since July 2011.
Simply put, I could not have gotten through this last year without her*.
I cannot wait to see where this road goes next, Monique "Bella Boo"!
I'm positive. *wink*
*Of course it goes without saying that I could not have gotten through this year without my loving and supportive husband, who is the yin to my yang. Love you MISU!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Have you ever had a friend...
That hurt you so much that you didn't want to talk to them ever again?
I had a friend (who lives 2000 miles away, and that I have been friends with for over 10 years) that had been having marital problems for over 6 years. There have been many, many times that we talked on the phone for hours before and after she started having problems. We have been such good friends that we at times have called each other best friend, and there have been times when we fought and didn't speak for 11 months.
Our relationship was very honest and we could talk about anything. We laughed and cried, we fought, we complained and bitched about our lives and all of that was OK. It was better than OK, she has been as close of a friend as my husband at times.
Over the last year, when her marriage was really in crisis, I had spent hours- willingly because I loved her- on the phone talking about her problems, supporting her decisions, giving advice when she asked. I had spent hours talking and consoling, and at times forgotten to make dinner for my kids (until Anna said she was starving). I spent hours telling my kids "not now I'm on the phone" because my friend lived so far away and was so busy working extra ours to save money for her impending separation, so I talked to her whenever she needed. She was so busy that the only time she ever seemed to call me was when she was driving somewhere.
Then one day, she told me that they had worked things out. Though I still worried about her, I was happy that she was happy and supported her decision because it's her life. Suddenly I was told that she was trying to cut out all the negative people in her life, and I noticed that she usually told me this shortly after I did our usual complaining that we do about things that are annoying us at the time... then she would tell me she was lost and had to get directions, or had another call, and that she would call me back.
And she never did.
This happened once, and though I was hurt, I thought"she is really busy, she'll call me back when she has a chance."
It happened a second time and I said to myself, "That is a weird coincidence. Hmmm, not sure what to think about that."
It happened a third time... so I stopped taking her calls when she finally called me back 3 weeks later.
That was almost 4 months ago, and she stopped calling after I decided not to send her daughter anything for her birthday. I figured she had realized that I was hurt and upset, then got mad that I didn't send her daughter anything. I figured our friendship was pretty much over since she thought I was all of a sudden to negative and she was cutting all of US out of her life.
I told my husband that I had a feeling that she would be calling the next time she needed something. Sure enough, she started calling again.
My problem besides the obvious is that I felt like we have been friends for so many years and the fact that now our friendship arrangement was no longer suitable to her, it was almost like my husband had suddenly told me that he couldn't stand the way I breathe. It hurt me deeply that we have been such close friends over the years that we accepted each others flaws, mourned with each other and even fought like sisters.
And then one day she tells me in so many words that I can't be in her life anymore because what I have offered her over the years (and she had offered back exactly) isn't good enough anymore. I'm too negative suddenly , when I haven't changed the way I have interacted with her as a friend. I'm not good enough.
The problem is that I don't even know if she understands what she has done. Over the years I have overlooked her shortcomings (and I wont list them since I don't know if she reads this blog anymore), and she has over looked mine. Now that her life was back in order and her husband wanted her again, I was no longer needed. It hurt me so much that I couldn't even talk to her about it.
But why talk to someone who obviously doesn't like or even love you anymore? Why waste my energy on someone who obviously feels like I'm inadequate, why put myself through that anymore?
Now, she is calling me again, just like I thought she would. Her husband has changed his mind and is wanting a divorce again, and now since I don't answer her calls- she sending me emails. She is telling people finally that they are separating, when before I was only one of 3 people that knew that her marriage was on the rocks. It's final now and she is sending out emails saying she is going to focus on herself and travel to see friends out of state.
Though I feel bad for her on a basic level, I have been so hurt that anger isn't even an issue anymore,I just don't care.
I feel like she dumped me and now that her dance card is empty, she wants me back to fill the void for her. On some level, I still love her as a friend and though we worked hard to over come our past arguments, I feel as though she attacked my character and told me I wasn't good enough.
If you know me even a little, I am a bit of a dork in so many ways, including social situations. I tend to lash out at people I don't very well if they anger me. The people that I know well and love... if they hurt me I tend to recede and become a hermit. I duck and cover. I know this has a lot to do with my childhood and not being able to have friends, to go out and socialize like a normal teen because I was pretty much locked up at home.
That's why I love blogging. I can socialize and met people, and in a way it's safer that way, but very sad.
I often think and wonder what is wrong with me that I cannot seem to make decent friends in real life, and ask my husband, "Isn't the common denominator me? Either I am attracting the wrong kind of friend because I put out a vibe that people can treat me like crap, or I am socially inept." I often ask my husband, "Am I over reacting?" and he will answer me honestly, and most of the time he will tell me no, that I am not overreacting.
Sometimes he does. And I get pissed. LOL! But I know he is right. Never once during all of this has he told me that I am overreacting.
Anyway, I sound like my friend. We are separating and I am boohooing to you guys. The only difference is that I am neglecting you guys because of NaNoWriMo. :)
BTW, please don't take it personally, I assure you that once I finish this stupid first draft that I will be back laughing with you, heckling you, and just generally being "all up in your business". I haven't visited but a few blogs because writers block is so depressing that even writing comments is mentally crippling. Sad? YES! Self inflicted? Absolutely. Lame? Probably.
Forgive me? Please?
Thanks for listening to me whine about the person who I used to consider my best friend... I feel bad for her , I really do. I just don't know if I am willing to let her kick me in the
I had a friend (who lives 2000 miles away, and that I have been friends with for over 10 years) that had been having marital problems for over 6 years. There have been many, many times that we talked on the phone for hours before and after she started having problems. We have been such good friends that we at times have called each other best friend, and there have been times when we fought and didn't speak for 11 months.
Our relationship was very honest and we could talk about anything. We laughed and cried, we fought, we complained and bitched about our lives and all of that was OK. It was better than OK, she has been as close of a friend as my husband at times.
Over the last year, when her marriage was really in crisis, I had spent hours- willingly because I loved her- on the phone talking about her problems, supporting her decisions, giving advice when she asked. I had spent hours talking and consoling, and at times forgotten to make dinner for my kids (until Anna said she was starving). I spent hours telling my kids "not now I'm on the phone" because my friend lived so far away and was so busy working extra ours to save money for her impending separation, so I talked to her whenever she needed. She was so busy that the only time she ever seemed to call me was when she was driving somewhere.
Then one day, she told me that they had worked things out. Though I still worried about her, I was happy that she was happy and supported her decision because it's her life. Suddenly I was told that she was trying to cut out all the negative people in her life, and I noticed that she usually told me this shortly after I did our usual complaining that we do about things that are annoying us at the time... then she would tell me she was lost and had to get directions, or had another call, and that she would call me back.
And she never did.
This happened once, and though I was hurt, I thought"she is really busy, she'll call me back when she has a chance."
It happened a second time and I said to myself, "That is a weird coincidence. Hmmm, not sure what to think about that."
It happened a third time... so I stopped taking her calls when she finally called me back 3 weeks later.
That was almost 4 months ago, and she stopped calling after I decided not to send her daughter anything for her birthday. I figured she had realized that I was hurt and upset, then got mad that I didn't send her daughter anything. I figured our friendship was pretty much over since she thought I was all of a sudden to negative and she was cutting all of US out of her life.
I told my husband that I had a feeling that she would be calling the next time she needed something. Sure enough, she started calling again.
My problem besides the obvious is that I felt like we have been friends for so many years and the fact that now our friendship arrangement was no longer suitable to her, it was almost like my husband had suddenly told me that he couldn't stand the way I breathe. It hurt me deeply that we have been such close friends over the years that we accepted each others flaws, mourned with each other and even fought like sisters.
And then one day she tells me in so many words that I can't be in her life anymore because what I have offered her over the years (and she had offered back exactly) isn't good enough anymore. I'm too negative suddenly , when I haven't changed the way I have interacted with her as a friend. I'm not good enough.
The problem is that I don't even know if she understands what she has done. Over the years I have overlooked her shortcomings (and I wont list them since I don't know if she reads this blog anymore), and she has over looked mine. Now that her life was back in order and her husband wanted her again, I was no longer needed. It hurt me so much that I couldn't even talk to her about it.
But why talk to someone who obviously doesn't like or even love you anymore? Why waste my energy on someone who obviously feels like I'm inadequate, why put myself through that anymore?
Now, she is calling me again, just like I thought she would. Her husband has changed his mind and is wanting a divorce again, and now since I don't answer her calls- she sending me emails. She is telling people finally that they are separating, when before I was only one of 3 people that knew that her marriage was on the rocks. It's final now and she is sending out emails saying she is going to focus on herself and travel to see friends out of state.
Though I feel bad for her on a basic level, I have been so hurt that anger isn't even an issue anymore,I just don't care.
I feel like she dumped me and now that her dance card is empty, she wants me back to fill the void for her. On some level, I still love her as a friend and though we worked hard to over come our past arguments, I feel as though she attacked my character and told me I wasn't good enough.
If you know me even a little, I am a bit of a dork in so many ways, including social situations. I tend to lash out at people I don't very well if they anger me. The people that I know well and love... if they hurt me I tend to recede and become a hermit. I duck and cover. I know this has a lot to do with my childhood and not being able to have friends, to go out and socialize like a normal teen because I was pretty much locked up at home.
That's why I love blogging. I can socialize and met people, and in a way it's safer that way, but very sad.
I often think and wonder what is wrong with me that I cannot seem to make decent friends in real life, and ask my husband, "Isn't the common denominator me? Either I am attracting the wrong kind of friend because I put out a vibe that people can treat me like crap, or I am socially inept." I often ask my husband, "Am I over reacting?" and he will answer me honestly, and most of the time he will tell me no, that I am not overreacting.
Sometimes he does. And I get pissed. LOL! But I know he is right. Never once during all of this has he told me that I am overreacting.
Anyway, I sound like my friend. We are separating and I am boohooing to you guys. The only difference is that I am neglecting you guys because of NaNoWriMo. :)
BTW, please don't take it personally, I assure you that once I finish this stupid first draft that I will be back laughing with you, heckling you, and just generally being "all up in your business". I haven't visited but a few blogs because writers block is so depressing that even writing comments is mentally crippling. Sad? YES! Self inflicted? Absolutely. Lame? Probably.
Forgive me? Please?
Thanks for listening to me whine about the person who I used to consider my best friend... I feel bad for her , I really do. I just don't know if I am willing to let her kick me in the
Monday, October 29, 2007
Garsh, I am feeling' the love!
One of my BBFF's (Blogging Best Friend Forever, LOL!) Maggie nominated me for the October ROFL Award for the post below: To Kill a Mocking Squirrel- OR- RIP Baby Pumpkwin.
*Does the happy booty dance* <------------ I actually have no idea what that means. ;)
Thank you so much Maggie, smoochies!
*Does the happy booty dance* <------------ I actually have no idea what that means. ;)
Thank you so much Maggie, smoochies!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Four Things About Me
My friend Judy tagged me for this meme, thanks Judy! :D
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. My very first job as in the family owned "sweat shop"... We all of a sudden were the cleaning crew for an advertising agency for extra cash. My younger brother was 7 or 8 when we started and we worked very hard for little money.
2. Cashier at the local grocery store, down in the boon docks.
3. Corpsman (medic) in the United States Navy. :D
4. LVN or LPN depending on which state you're in.
FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. So I Married An Axe Murderer
2. Wedding Crashers
3. North By Northwest
4. Anne of Green Gables
FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Hell.
2.Treasure Island, California (formerly a Naval base)
3. Oakland, California (when it was the murder capital of the US, Yipeee!)
4. Hayward, California
FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Since I have lost my craving for it I'm sad to say that chocolate, the previous reigning champion has lost it's heavy weight belt to steak and burgers. Which brings this saying to mind: I love animals. They taste good.
2.Any Asian food. Especially sushi which I haven't had any of in over a year :(
3. Any kind of pasta. I heart carbs, much to my butt's dismay.
4. Sorry chocolate, but at least you still make the top 4. Right?
PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW:
1. Italy
2.Greece
3. S.F.
4. Eastern Shore, Maryland
FOUR PEOPLE I TAG TO DO THIS MEME:
1. Michelle
2. Maggie
3. Slackermommy
4. Dorky Dad
By the way... I was wondering if any of you have lost a pet unexpectedly? My bud Michelle
just lost her beautiful furbaby Coco during a dental cleaning procedure while under anesthesia. I know like a lot of people, Michelle felt like Coco was more than a pet and was just another member of the family. Michelle and her family are doing better, but Coco passed away on Tuesday. If you would like to, please head over and show her some love right now. Thanks.
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. My very first job as in the family owned "sweat shop"... We all of a sudden were the cleaning crew for an advertising agency for extra cash. My younger brother was 7 or 8 when we started and we worked very hard for little money.
2. Cashier at the local grocery store, down in the boon docks.
3. Corpsman (medic) in the United States Navy. :D
4. LVN or LPN depending on which state you're in.
FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. So I Married An Axe Murderer
2. Wedding Crashers
3. North By Northwest
4. Anne of Green Gables
FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Hell.
2.Treasure Island, California (formerly a Naval base)
3. Oakland, California (when it was the murder capital of the US, Yipeee!)
4. Hayward, California
FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Since I have lost my craving for it I'm sad to say that chocolate, the previous reigning champion has lost it's heavy weight belt to steak and burgers. Which brings this saying to mind: I love animals. They taste good.
2.Any Asian food. Especially sushi which I haven't had any of in over a year :(
3. Any kind of pasta. I heart carbs, much to my butt's dismay.
4. Sorry chocolate, but at least you still make the top 4. Right?
PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW:
1. Italy
2.Greece
3. S.F.
4. Eastern Shore, Maryland
FOUR PEOPLE I TAG TO DO THIS MEME:
1. Michelle
2. Maggie
3. Slackermommy
4. Dorky Dad
By the way... I was wondering if any of you have lost a pet unexpectedly? My bud Michelle
just lost her beautiful furbaby Coco during a dental cleaning procedure while under anesthesia. I know like a lot of people, Michelle felt like Coco was more than a pet and was just another member of the family. Michelle and her family are doing better, but Coco passed away on Tuesday. If you would like to, please head over and show her some love right now. Thanks.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Who couldn't use a little sparkle, right?
One of my all-time favorite bloggers has a new review site called An Island Review, in which she reports and links to contests, give aways and freebies. I think this is an excellent idea... Local Girl is providing a service to all of us bloggers who can't resist those sort of things :D
Local Girl is having a drawing for these:
My first reaction was "Oooh La La!", my second was to drool, and my 3rd? I entered the drawing of course!
Quoted from An Island Review-
How to Enter:
Then I commented:
Local Girl is having a drawing for these:
My first reaction was "Oooh La La!", my second was to drool, and my 3rd? I entered the drawing of course!Quoted from An Island Review-
How to Enter:
- Mention this contest on your blog with a link back to this post.
- Leave a comment below as to why you think you should win the bling.
- A random winner will be selected on July 14th and contacted via email.
Then I commented:
Hmmm, why do I deserve these? As a mom of 2 beautiful and spirited girls whom I love very much and can't imagine my life without- I need down time. My down time usually consists reading, blogging, crafting or sewing while listening to my iPod.So, if you are feelin' lucky and would like these sweet little jewel encrusted headphones, head over to An Island Review and tell Local Girl why you deserve these... then just write a post about it!
I think every mom needs a little down time, a little "mom time" to recharge their batteries, and I think listening to your favorite music while kicking your heels up - even if it's only for 15 minutes- could be just the thing.
Plus, these headphones are just deliciously pink and sparkley! Mom time with sparkles? Even better.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I Rock! Ok, it's more like "I roll"... but anywhoo
One of my favorite bloggers awarded me with pink gem...
Apparently she digs my style of bloggery ;) Also, as she said- we have this soulful bond because of the similarities of our egg donors (read as crazy biotches for mothers, pardon my Francais!).
I'll skip the part where I deny my worthiness, and I'll skip the usual self-deprecation and just say thanks! Thanks Slackermommy! I'm glad to know you and to call you friend, and I am pleased as punch that you think I Rock! :D
Now it is my job, my task to award this to 5 other bloggers. I'm thinking the blogging dudes I know probably wouldn't appreciate me giving them this award because of the hot pinkness, and it having the word girl on it, so that narrows down my list of potential award'ees from 30 to about 27. Sheesh! This is always so hard, and in this particular situation... I know a lot of really cool Rockin' Girls.
The other problem is that since I run in at least 2 distinct blogging circles, I am bound to give the award to gals that my other award'ees will want to award. Does that makes sense?
Gah, well- Here I go. I say if you are awarded more than once, the more the merrier right?
I cannot, however, just narrow it down to 5. here are the lovely ladies that i wish to present this award to, in no particular order... I heart all of equally. :D
Not So Anonymous Michelle is a blogger that I recently had the great fortune to meet. Michelle and I have a lot in common, including each of us having an ankle biter named Emma Rose, and I can't imagine not having Michelle in my life... we are a great support to each other. We only live a state away and i can see us getting together sometime soon!
Holly is one of those people who is just so kind and generous... no matter how distasteful you behavior might be. And,yes when I say you, I mean me. Holly can see the good in almost anyone and any situation, is she will be the first to point out that every moment has a potential to teach us something. When I think of Holly, I think of Grace or Audrey. :)
Maggie always has me in stitches because she can always see the humor in things. Maggie was one of the first people to give me an award, and she likes me because I'm not sappy... supposedly. She just gets me and my weird sense of humor. For those reasons alone she deserves this award, but also I really enjoy Maggie's writing style. Plus she's a soul sista.
Crse... What can I tell you about crse? She is a very kind, loving and supportive person. And she is a self proclaimed dork! Life is never dull at the Casa D'Zamphir, and I can honestly say that without a doubt crse gets every single on of my idio(t)syncrasies, neurotic tendencies, egg donor dilemmas and general dorkiness. Snurgles!
Ash is someone I found through crse. I heart Ash. She's not afraid to put it all out there and "sock it to ya". Ash and I have more in common than either of us think, including our first born chil'rens, kittehs that like to share their "manly stink", loads of sarcasm and general egg donor angst. Ash, I dig your writing style, don't ever change. Squee!
Kailani is my first true blogging friend I don't mind telling ya. She was also the first to pimp my blog, on more than one occasion. There was a time when I almost thought I lost her, when she had to disappear from the blogosphere. That was the longest week ever! Kailani is always open and honest and to be honest, just always positive and gracious- even when she is writing about something really annoying.
Jen is another fellow dorkess, and is the creator of Dork Bloggers and is another chiqua that just plain gets me. I love reading her blog because you just never know what you are going to find next... but it's usually hilarious! Jen is another blogger I am proud to call soul sista :D
Virginia...Sarcasm- you know I loves me some! Virginia is just an all around awesome person, and she tell a story! Her tales of Walmart woes always has me in tears. I can't ever have enough of the Virginia Monologues. :D
Jenny Ryan is one of the smartest AND funniest bloggers I know. Jenny continues to surprise me and making me laugh, every single post she writes. And she likes me despite my obvious deviations from proper grammar and sometimes speeling. <---- Just like this one ;)
Pippajo is yet another lovely lady that is the the whole she-bang. She's got a real writing style that gets to the meat of any topic. She hilarious, charming and warm , all wrapped into one. You're just yummy Pippa! The cherry on top? You guessed it, a fellow grand dork at Dork Bloggers.
Karmyn once again... One of my first true blogging friends. Karmyn is gracious and kind, yet gives her opinion openly and freely. Karmyn doesn't hold anything back and her blog is like coming home. I know, corny much? But so true- Karmyn you are funny and smart, and just a love! Thanks for being such a positive influence in the blogosphere :D
So there you have it! All the women that I think are Rockin' Girl Bloggers. :D Stick a fork in me , I'm done
Apparently she digs my style of bloggery ;) Also, as she said- we have this soulful bond because of the similarities of our egg donors (read as crazy biotches for mothers, pardon my Francais!).
I'll skip the part where I deny my worthiness, and I'll skip the usual self-deprecation and just say thanks! Thanks Slackermommy! I'm glad to know you and to call you friend, and I am pleased as punch that you think I Rock! :D
Now it is my job, my task to award this to 5 other bloggers. I'm thinking the blogging dudes I know probably wouldn't appreciate me giving them this award because of the hot pinkness, and it having the word girl on it, so that narrows down my list of potential award'ees from 30 to about 27. Sheesh! This is always so hard, and in this particular situation... I know a lot of really cool Rockin' Girls.
The other problem is that since I run in at least 2 distinct blogging circles, I am bound to give the award to gals that my other award'ees will want to award. Does that makes sense?
Gah, well- Here I go. I say if you are awarded more than once, the more the merrier right?
I cannot, however, just narrow it down to 5. here are the lovely ladies that i wish to present this award to, in no particular order... I heart all of equally. :D
Not So Anonymous Michelle is a blogger that I recently had the great fortune to meet. Michelle and I have a lot in common, including each of us having an ankle biter named Emma Rose, and I can't imagine not having Michelle in my life... we are a great support to each other. We only live a state away and i can see us getting together sometime soon!
Holly is one of those people who is just so kind and generous... no matter how distasteful you behavior might be. And,yes when I say you, I mean me. Holly can see the good in almost anyone and any situation, is she will be the first to point out that every moment has a potential to teach us something. When I think of Holly, I think of Grace or Audrey. :)
Maggie always has me in stitches because she can always see the humor in things. Maggie was one of the first people to give me an award, and she likes me because I'm not sappy... supposedly. She just gets me and my weird sense of humor. For those reasons alone she deserves this award, but also I really enjoy Maggie's writing style. Plus she's a soul sista.
Crse... What can I tell you about crse? She is a very kind, loving and supportive person. And she is a self proclaimed dork! Life is never dull at the Casa D'Zamphir, and I can honestly say that without a doubt crse gets every single on of my idio(t)syncrasies, neurotic tendencies, egg donor dilemmas and general dorkiness. Snurgles!
Ash is someone I found through crse. I heart Ash. She's not afraid to put it all out there and "sock it to ya". Ash and I have more in common than either of us think, including our first born chil'rens, kittehs that like to share their "manly stink", loads of sarcasm and general egg donor angst. Ash, I dig your writing style, don't ever change. Squee!
Kailani is my first true blogging friend I don't mind telling ya. She was also the first to pimp my blog, on more than one occasion. There was a time when I almost thought I lost her, when she had to disappear from the blogosphere. That was the longest week ever! Kailani is always open and honest and to be honest, just always positive and gracious- even when she is writing about something really annoying.
Jen is another fellow dorkess, and is the creator of Dork Bloggers and is another chiqua that just plain gets me. I love reading her blog because you just never know what you are going to find next... but it's usually hilarious! Jen is another blogger I am proud to call soul sista :D
Virginia...Sarcasm- you know I loves me some! Virginia is just an all around awesome person, and she tell a story! Her tales of Walmart woes always has me in tears. I can't ever have enough of the Virginia Monologues. :D
Jenny Ryan is one of the smartest AND funniest bloggers I know. Jenny continues to surprise me and making me laugh, every single post she writes. And she likes me despite my obvious deviations from proper grammar and sometimes speeling. <---- Just like this one ;)
Pippajo is yet another lovely lady that is the the whole she-bang. She's got a real writing style that gets to the meat of any topic. She hilarious, charming and warm , all wrapped into one. You're just yummy Pippa! The cherry on top? You guessed it, a fellow grand dork at Dork Bloggers.
Karmyn once again... One of my first true blogging friends. Karmyn is gracious and kind, yet gives her opinion openly and freely. Karmyn doesn't hold anything back and her blog is like coming home. I know, corny much? But so true- Karmyn you are funny and smart, and just a love! Thanks for being such a positive influence in the blogosphere :D
So there you have it! All the women that I think are Rockin' Girl Bloggers. :D Stick a fork in me , I'm done
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
All for the love of one baby boy.
I don't remember exactly when I met My blogging friend Karianne, but I do remember that from the start she has been such a sweet, uplifting, and inspiring soul. She has been through a lot over the last few years, and though she has her ups and down like the rest of us, she never seems to let those external forces affect her. It doesn't matter what is going on in her world, she has never had anything but kind and supportive words for others.
Karianne recently had a moment -while stopped at a light in traffic and gazing at a beautiful gown in a window across the street- where she realized that there would be no need for her to ever wear a beautiful gown, ever again... These thoughts would eventually lead to a fund raiser for the adoption agency that she adopted her son Becken from. She wrote:
I asked Karianne if she had thought about a donate button from PayPal after another person had asked if they could buy a Virtual Prom Ticket. It sounds like setting up the PayPal donations to go to the orphanage the took some doing, but she was able to figure it out with the help of her brother.
Yesterday, Karianne wrote a beautiful post about her journey to find Becken, I encourage you to read this inspiring story of love and loss.
Karianne know that if I had enough money, I would be squeezing myself into a prom dress, too. ;) But know I will be thinking of you, your friends and family on this wonderful night (April 14th, right?)... and will be there in spirit.
Karianne recently had a moment -while stopped at a light in traffic and gazing at a beautiful gown in a window across the street- where she realized that there would be no need for her to ever wear a beautiful gown, ever again... These thoughts would eventually lead to a fund raiser for the adoption agency that she adopted her son Becken from. She wrote:
I called my sister at work and said, "I'm so sad that this part of my life is over. No more proms, formals or weddings. And if you are lucky enough to be asked to be in someone's wedding, you don't get to pick your own dress or the color. I just can't believe that I won't be buying any more beautiful dresses."In her second post about her prom ideas, Karianne said:
Fast forward to around Christmas time. I was looking through a consignment shop by my house, rifling through their pretty gowns that were gently worn. The price tags were so reasonable, less than $50 each, but I had no where to wear them. What would the point be in buying one?
And then I had an idea. And I called my sister again.
I told her, "I"m having prom for my birthday this year!"
She said, "Hmmm. Okay?", very hesitantly.
So here is how, Karianne's Birthday Prom & Fundraiser was born.
But here was the catch. If we were going to party on this scale, what about gifts, etc. I felt weird at having over 100 people for my birthday. So I turned it into a fund raiser for Bec's orphanage. The music and the photographers have donated their services...In her 3rd post, she talks excitedly about the news of her prom spreading like wildfire amongst friends , coworkers and family, and how everyone is feverishly trying to find a beautiful prom outfit. :D
Here is the plan. Admission is $5. It is byob. We are having a money tree. We are having a spare change drive. We are having a 50/50 raffle. The photo profits will also go to the orphanage program. Our agency has a program that provides scholarships for their staff to further their education and this is where we want the money to go. I had the fund raising coordinator for the agency cracking up on the phone yesterday getting instructions on how to do this thing right...
The hall is like a bomb shelter almost, so imagine the prom on Footloose. I think that we are doing foil stars and streamers. It is costing me$300 for the rental, so I hope that we can bring in enough to pay me back and then donate 300 to the cause. I might be dreaming on this one though.
My buds and cousins around here are my prom committee. We are doing decorations. Bringing cookies and appetizers. We are also electing prom king and queen.
I asked Karianne if she had thought about a donate button from PayPal after another person had asked if they could buy a Virtual Prom Ticket. It sounds like setting up the PayPal donations to go to the orphanage the took some doing, but she was able to figure it out with the help of her brother.
Yesterday, Karianne wrote a beautiful post about her journey to find Becken, I encourage you to read this inspiring story of love and loss.
Our baby has been home almost one year and we are so thankful for him and for his caregivers that cared for him for 5 months before us. We are donating our money from Prom, (after expenses) to their scholarship fund as a way to try to pay them back in some way for loving our son...If you can, think about donating. I really think this is a wonderful idea, and I had the honor of being the first to donate through her PayPal button on her blog! Thanks for taking the time to read this, I know that Karianne, and her family would be grateful for any donations they would receive on the behalf of Becken's adoption agency, Adoption Advocates International.
(quoted from her Virtual Prom Ticket post)
Now, you really won't get a "prom" ticket, but you'll know that you are making a donation, through me, to AAI for their staff scholarship program. And I'm so thankful in advance.
The button is over on the right if you are feeling the need to share some $ with Ethiopia!
Karianne know that if I had enough money, I would be squeezing myself into a prom dress, too. ;) But know I will be thinking of you, your friends and family on this wonderful night (April 14th, right?)... and will be there in spirit.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Hold on, I'm thinking... this may take a minute.
A few days ago I told you that my blogging buddy Pippajo gave me the
.
Pippajo and I have a few things in common such as our love of The Sims 2 (though I doubt seriously that either of us plays as much as we would like), blogging (of course!), we are both Dork Bloggers... and we have a mutual Dork crush on Conan O'Brien.
I am always flattered (and at times flabbergasted) when someone gives me an award because, well, quite frankly I don't see how I am any better than any other blogger out there. My schtick is nothing new to the blogging world and most of my material has been born of my "middle child" syndrome. :D
That being said, I have such a problem with accepting a compliment, that even know I am unable to accept this award without a bit of self deprecation. I have issues. BUT- I am flattered, and accept this award with gratitude. Thank you Pippajo!
Here are the rules for this award:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote
Let me first say that this was very hard, you may not know this about me but I find it difficult to make decisions. All of the blogs I read are thought provoking in one way or another, that's why I read them! There are so many to choose from, so many different styles, different types of blogs...
So without further ado, these are the top 5 blogs that make me not only think but also make me feel:
1. Holly is everything I would love to be as a mom, human and writer. Sure, she's probably not perfect but she is perfect to me. :D Holly's blog is so much more than that, and she is always writing something funny and thought provoking, and she inspires me in so many ways. Her writing flows, and is so gracious and eloquent- it doesn't matter what she writes about, it's always beautiful.*I also give this award to Holly for Thinking that I am worth the read, despite what she might find here at the circus. LOL!*
2. Just as Pippajo said on her blog, there is no rule against "tagging" the tagger... I have to say that the very first post I read on her blog was so heart wrenching and real, her post made me cry. But it also made me think very hard about what is important in life. Since then she has continued to astound me with her resilience of spirit, and the beauty and depth of her heart and soul.
3. Jenny has go to be hands down, one of the smartest people I blogging know. And one of the funniest! Jenny doesn't shy away from complex and hilarious issues such as knowing when you are a grown up, Government by the people, and which is worse: poor grammar or poor manners. *The last one is a tough for me, since I am guilty of both. ;)* Best of all, Jenny doesn't mind "poking the comfort zone with sharp, hot sticks". She isn't afraid to lay it on the line, and doesn't take guff for her beliefs. I totally dig that about Jenny.
4. Robin and I are like old buddies... The kind that don't get to talk as much as we'd like, but we do try to make the time when we can. :D Robin's is another writer of such great talent. She writes what she feels, and doesn't leave a thing to be desired. Robin is another blogger who can put anything into words and it sounds so elegant.. but truly heart felt and brutally honest.
5. Last but not least, Island Girl is again, one of those people who are the whole package if you ask me. Just as I said about Holly, though I'm sure she has her flaws like the rest of us, she is perfect to me. :D Island Girl always leaves me with a light heart, no matter what she blogs about... and one of my favorite things about her blog is that she asks for the reader's opinion, and genuinely wants to know. Aside from being the creator of the always informative, creative, and humorous Carnival of Family Life- Local Girl is always so thoughtful and giving, and yet she makes me ponder what is right and wrong with the world with her daily life posts.
All of these people are bright spots in the universe for me along with the other friends I've made, and to all of my blogging buddies... I'd list you all if I could!
On a side note, I won't be blogging for the next 2 days or so. Emma's 2nd birthday is tomorrow and her party is Saturday. The next 48 hours will be filled with what I like to call PPP or Pre-Party Panic. ;)
OK, yes I forgot... of course I will have to post pics of the little pooper tomorrow, from birth day to birthday!
.Pippajo and I have a few things in common such as our love of The Sims 2 (though I doubt seriously that either of us plays as much as we would like), blogging (of course!), we are both Dork Bloggers... and we have a mutual Dork crush on Conan O'Brien.
I am always flattered (and at times flabbergasted) when someone gives me an award because, well, quite frankly I don't see how I am any better than any other blogger out there. My schtick is nothing new to the blogging world and most of my material has been born of my "middle child" syndrome. :D
That being said, I have such a problem with accepting a compliment, that even know I am unable to accept this award without a bit of self deprecation. I have issues. BUT- I am flattered, and accept this award with gratitude. Thank you Pippajo!
Here are the rules for this award:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote
Let me first say that this was very hard, you may not know this about me but I find it difficult to make decisions. All of the blogs I read are thought provoking in one way or another, that's why I read them! There are so many to choose from, so many different styles, different types of blogs...
So without further ado, these are the top 5 blogs that make me not only think but also make me feel:
1. Holly is everything I would love to be as a mom, human and writer. Sure, she's probably not perfect but she is perfect to me. :D Holly's blog is so much more than that, and she is always writing something funny and thought provoking, and she inspires me in so many ways. Her writing flows, and is so gracious and eloquent- it doesn't matter what she writes about, it's always beautiful.*I also give this award to Holly for Thinking that I am worth the read, despite what she might find here at the circus. LOL!*
2. Just as Pippajo said on her blog, there is no rule against "tagging" the tagger... I have to say that the very first post I read on her blog was so heart wrenching and real, her post made me cry. But it also made me think very hard about what is important in life. Since then she has continued to astound me with her resilience of spirit, and the beauty and depth of her heart and soul.
3. Jenny has go to be hands down, one of the smartest people I blogging know. And one of the funniest! Jenny doesn't shy away from complex and hilarious issues such as knowing when you are a grown up, Government by the people, and which is worse: poor grammar or poor manners. *The last one is a tough for me, since I am guilty of both. ;)* Best of all, Jenny doesn't mind "poking the comfort zone with sharp, hot sticks". She isn't afraid to lay it on the line, and doesn't take guff for her beliefs. I totally dig that about Jenny.
4. Robin and I are like old buddies... The kind that don't get to talk as much as we'd like, but we do try to make the time when we can. :D Robin's is another writer of such great talent. She writes what she feels, and doesn't leave a thing to be desired. Robin is another blogger who can put anything into words and it sounds so elegant.. but truly heart felt and brutally honest.
5. Last but not least, Island Girl is again, one of those people who are the whole package if you ask me. Just as I said about Holly, though I'm sure she has her flaws like the rest of us, she is perfect to me. :D Island Girl always leaves me with a light heart, no matter what she blogs about... and one of my favorite things about her blog is that she asks for the reader's opinion, and genuinely wants to know. Aside from being the creator of the always informative, creative, and humorous Carnival of Family Life- Local Girl is always so thoughtful and giving, and yet she makes me ponder what is right and wrong with the world with her daily life posts.
All of these people are bright spots in the universe for me along with the other friends I've made, and to all of my blogging buddies... I'd list you all if I could!
On a side note, I won't be blogging for the next 2 days or so. Emma's 2nd birthday is tomorrow and her party is Saturday. The next 48 hours will be filled with what I like to call PPP or Pre-Party Panic. ;)
OK, yes I forgot... of course I will have to post pics of the little pooper tomorrow, from birth day to birthday!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Surprise, surprise!
My aunt is always sending me cool stuff via email... This is one of them! If you've ever wondered what exactly goes on on your computer in the wee hours, check this out.
She also sent me some Easter funnies, I think we all know that this would be me :D
And the goof ball in me just loves this one:
I have been a little behind in blogging these days, as I have said on several blogs- I am trying to better balance real life and blogging, and blogging about real life. ;) That being said, I have yet to find a happy medium. Maybe it's Spring and her newly budded charm, I dunno. We just want to be out side, is that so wro-ung?
Anywhoo, tangents and digressions aside *cheeky grin, are they ever really aside with me?*,I haven't gotten in as much blogging as I have wanted to keeping busy, and haven't really read any blogs since last Wednesday ( I even forgot that last Friday was Anna's Spring Picture day. I felt so bad, but at least she was wearing one of her favorite High School Musical shirts- hey look at that! Another tangent!)... imagine my surprise when I read my new blogging buddy and fellow Dork Blogger's post about me. Pippajo was tagged and awarded this prestigious award.
She then had to tag 5 other people that she felt wrote thought (amongst other things) provoking posts.
*cough* Now, I don't know exactly if that is true in my case, but since Pippa felt enough about my writing to shout it from her blog's roof top, I am very deeply honored! This is what Pippajo had to say about moi:
Thank you again, Pippa... I am really glad that we met. Your kind words are so appreciated... I am so feeling the (dork) love. :D BTW, Conan! That's all I'm going to say, LOL! Plus, who can ever get enough sidebar bling?
I'll be writing another post within the next few days about my five, so stay tuned. Speaking of tangents...As seen at my blogging buddy Michelle's blog, I just had to try it. Actually, if you really want to know, I was nervous. I don't know if you read this post, (you probably haven't because it was my second blog post) I have a little theory:
I'm a little smarter than I thunk I were. On paper anyway. Err, I mean pixel.
She also sent me some Easter funnies, I think we all know that this would be me :D
And the goof ball in me just loves this one:
I have been a little behind in blogging these days, as I have said on several blogs- I am trying to better balance real life and blogging, and blogging about real life. ;) That being said, I have yet to find a happy medium. Maybe it's Spring and her newly budded charm, I dunno. We just want to be out side, is that so wro-ung?
Anywhoo, tangents and digressions aside *cheeky grin, are they ever really aside with me?*,I haven't gotten in as much blogging as I have wanted to keeping busy, and haven't really read any blogs since last Wednesday ( I even forgot that last Friday was Anna's Spring Picture day. I felt so bad, but at least she was wearing one of her favorite High School Musical shirts- hey look at that! Another tangent!)... imagine my surprise when I read my new blogging buddy and fellow Dork Blogger's post about me. Pippajo was tagged and awarded this prestigious award.
She then had to tag 5 other people that she felt wrote thought (amongst other things) provoking posts.*cough* Now, I don't know exactly if that is true in my case, but since Pippa felt enough about my writing to shout it from her blog's roof top, I am very deeply honored! This is what Pippajo had to say about moi:
2. Mert at Almost Somewhat Positive. Mert is my newest discovery (I don't branch out of my blog ruts very easily) and manages to strike just the right balance between hilarious and sobering. She doesn't shy away from the often difficult realities of life but always manages to put a humorous spin on them. Mert also has mad graffix skillz that leave me in awe. She can design buttons and everything!
Thank you again, Pippa... I am really glad that we met. Your kind words are so appreciated... I am so feeling the (dork) love. :D BTW, Conan! That's all I'm going to say, LOL! Plus, who can ever get enough sidebar bling?
I'll be writing another post within the next few days about my five, so stay tuned. Speaking of tangents...As seen at my blogging buddy Michelle's blog, I just had to try it. Actually, if you really want to know, I was nervous. I don't know if you read this post, (you probably haven't because it was my second blog post) I have a little theory:
Even though the MISU and I are fairly intelligent people, we have had 2 children now. Each child is the equivalent of eating paint chips for 2 years straight, you know, when you figure in sleep deprivation, yelling, screaming, barfing, boog removal and tantrums. 2 years of paint chips. That has to equal at least a 25 point deduction off the old intelligence score. So 2 children X 2 years of paint chips... Anyway given the fact that we collectively have been out of school for about 30 years, my penchant for terrible spelling and punctuation... Well you get the picture. We ain't as smart as we used to be.
I'm a little smarter than I thunk I were. On paper anyway. Err, I mean pixel.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I feel pretty, Oh so pretty...!
My blogging friend Maggie just emailed me... I am proud to say that I can display this...
Thanks Maggie, I love my new Blog Bling!
Thanks Maggie, I love my new Blog Bling!
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