Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Could you BE any louder?

Last week I went to the local clinic to give away a little pee for a drug test, because as you might not know, I applied at The Target.

When I got to the clinic, I took Anna with me while John went to get gas, and Emma stayed with him. While waiting for me to fill out the paper work, John had to use the restroom, and he had to take Emma in with him. Normally when he has to do this, he sits down so that the kids don't see his "bits and pieces" (as Mike Myers says), but that day unfortunately, being in a less than clean men's bathroom (Hmmm, imagine that!), he did his business like guys generally do. Emma was amazed that dads could actually do this, and after about a second she peeked around from behind John, eyes wide with amazement.

"What dat, daddy?"
"Well, honey... boys have a different who-who from girls, and it's called a penis."

Of course I didn't know any of this, and I found John and Emma on the way to the lab. Before I went in, Emma said she had to go potty but didn't want daddy to take her. After I was done donating, we were about to leave and Emma announced again she had to go, so I picked the grumpy butt up and walked half a block to the restroom.

We found the restroom and we had to wait. I quietly told her that someone was in the restroom and we had to wait.

"What about dat one, momma," she asked, pointing to the men's room right next door.

"That one is for boys."

"Ohhhh." She looked up at me, "Mommy! Guess what? DADDY HAS A PEANUT!"

All around me parents sat with their children, waiting patiently for their appointments with their pediatricians. And all around me, parents young and not so young snickered and giggled.

"Yes, honey..." I fought back hysterical laughter, "Daddy does have a penis. And girls have a vagina."

"Bah-gye-nah! Right!"

I think Emma just might eventually have a job in broadcasting.

Later, after she got home Emma told me I was "feet".

"I'm feet," I asked.

"Noooooo, FEET!"

Finally I realized that she meant SWEET. "Oh, you mean I'm sweet?" She smiled and nodded.

Only in the land of toddlers... could body parts be so many other things. ;)

BTW, I start working at Target tonight. In a span of almost 7 years I have managed to go from being "one of the younger ones" in a group of older nurse... to one of the older ones in a sea of youngin's. Should be interesting. Wish me luck!


Julie said...

Good luck!! So the young guns a thing or two! :-)

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

HAHA! This is hilarious! I can relate, the kiddos seem to get 10 times louder when they are talking about stuff you would rather have them whisper! HEHE! You'll show the youngin's a thing or two! I am sure you'll get lots of blog fodder!

Pamela said...

brings back memories of things my kids said. for instance: "Do you and dad do thaaaaaaaaat????? "


Good Luck!

I'm sure you will fit right in with those youngins. Find us some deals

Karmyn R said...

Fortunately, having an older brother - Buttercup has been in "the know" for several years now. So - there are no surprises when it comes to boys having a penis. But, I still have to giggle about a child announcing that fact to the world.

Good luck with the new job!

Daddy Forever said...

Oh, a new design. Nice. Emma is funny. I hope she doesn't get stuck in the butt jokes phase like my son.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Wait...I have a penis?

Holly Schwendiman said...

What on earth did we do for entertainment before kids? :) LOL Congrats on the job and good luck! I'm sorry I'm so behind on reading and commenting but you're still thought of!


kailani said...

Good luck! Don't spend your whole paycheck there! LOL!

Jenny Ryan said...

Yay-congratulations on your new job!

Judy Thomas said...

Congratulations on your new job. I'm very proud of you. Now come back and tell us how your first day went!