Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Love thy neighbor...

Except when they act like an idiot.

OK, I know that's not how the scripture goes... but I have a low tolerance level for stupid people.

And no, I don't mean those that are mentally deficient or special needs, I'm talking about the people that really should have a clue and know better. Kind of like my neighbor, who I am sure at one time in her life was considered the "girl next door". Shoot, my husband tells me that he hears that she has guys lining up at her office door (she works at the same hospital in town that he does), all of them vying for her attentions and affections, while she sits there giving them the million dollar (and quite fake) smile.

No I'm not jealous. And I would never bat my eye lashes to get some guy to come over to do my yard work for me. I think we can safely say that she uses her feminine wiles so that men will do things for her. I'm guessing she doesn't reserve those niceties for men either. She has tried her charms on me, and what I mistook for her just being nice tome... well I have discovered that her niceness has a price, to the sum of free part time day care.

Since the 4th of July, and since I told her kid that she was not allowed in my yard the day after, my neighbor has ignored me. Oh, she ignored John too, but only while I was around. Later, she called my husband for tech support for her PC. Which , given my feelings for her because of her repeated use of me, I was a little pissed at him for going over there to fix it. But he did get 20.00 out of it, so at least he didn't do it for free.

Anywho, a week and a half ago, she saw me working the sales floor at The T, and she starts up polite chit chat with me. I was civil, mostly talking to her daughter. That was fine, whatever. LAST WEEK, she shows up at the Snack bar of The T where I happen to be working a shift. She orders snacks for her kids from me, then proceeds to tell me that "she's going to look at a new car seat, they should be fine"- meaning sitting there by themselves. WTH????

I stand there with my mouth open at the audacity of this woman while I hear her muttering to her kids something about "you better be good for something-y (which I assume was my name, Mary), or they would never get ICEE's at The T again"- and think to myself, "Even at work I have to deal with this sh*t?"

Thank goodness it was time for my break, and my team leader came over to relieve me. I stepped from behind the food counter to order my dinner, and in the middle of her scolding her kids she looks up startle and says to me, "OH! Are you leaving???" She then gives me a slightly nervous and fake smile.

"Uh, yeah... I'm going on break."

As I walked away to find that she was still determined to leave her 7 and 4 year old aline in the front of the store NEXT TO THE FRONT ENTRANCE/EXIT, I felt a little guilty. What if some one took one of them? What if they went to use the restroom (that was only about 10 yards away), and some stranger hurt them?

I'm no saint, but I do feel bad when the safety of children is taken for granted... But I decided that I was NOT going to sit there gulping my food for the measly 15 minute break that I get when working at the snack bar... the whole while disciplining her children for her. Like I have done when her kids invite themselves over to my yard, and she pretends to not notice, then asks me about an hour or two later "if that's OK" and/or "she hopes that they are being good", when she knows darned well how her son can be (rarely good, almost always in trouble or beating up his sister).

I'm sorry, I don't feel bad that I told her kid to leave my yard on the 4th of July weekend BECAUSE not only was he being down right mean and hurting his sister, he started whacking my kids over the head with toys too. You can't pawn your kids off on somebody then get pissed that your neighbor doesn't want your misbehaving children in their yard. I have enough problems with my own misbehaved-constantly arguing and fighting- children and for sanity's sake, I don't want your children added to the mix.

And you can't just expect that your neighbor is going to watch your kids for you while they are AT WORK, just because you think you have glossed over your idiocy by chit chatting with them for less than 5 minutes, after you have been ignoring them for 3 weeks.

So dear Lord, I know I am supposed to love my neighbor as I love myself, but can you please settle for me not killing her right now?

Thanks Big Guy.



Sunshine said...

Your neighbor sucks. I was heading down the "she stays home and has toys in the yard, she must be free day care" route right before school let out and I nipped that in the bud too. Then the mom got all neurotic on me, she is a MAJOR helicopter mom. Too long of a story to hijack your comments with but, sometimes, neighbors suck and so do their kids.

imadramamama said...


The nerve of that lady, seriously!

MotoMom said...

You are way too funny! And perhaps a better woman than I? I have no problem going out and smiling and waving at the landscapers while they mow the commons in the hopes that they will take care of our 10X10 patch of grass in the front. And I have no problem allowing men to "rescue" me from less than desirable jobs. I do draw the line at asking someones spouse to do it for me though.
The kid issue is a tough one - and I have been on both sides of it. The difference being that my kids were (and are) always welcome and well behaved, and if it was not a good time they were told that and either came home or played with another neighbor. Over the years we have had neighbors who either dumped their kids out the door to wander over to my house with no place to go, some who love having my kids over to entertain their younger children, and some with whom we traded kids equally.
Hang in there. Maybe you will get lucky and she will move and take her kids with her.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

I'm totally with you on the neighbor, and for her to try to take advantage of you AT WORK on top of it is completely and totally inappropriate and crossing the line! She sounds like a real peice of work and oh yeah, I'd be pissed at hubby for helping with the computer work too, even if he did get $20 from her!

Daddy Forever said...

She sounds like a great neighbor. I hope she moves to our neighborhood. Because that's the type of person we need more of around here.

Susie said...

Oh my... What a piece of work.

Holly Schwendiman said...

Ug. Why's there one in every batch?


Leann I Am said...

AAACCCKKK!!! I think I know that lady!

As a matter of fact, I think that we ALL know a lady like that!

I stay home, too. I'm really lucky that the neighbors I associate with are all great. Of course, we live out in the sticks and that means the three or four I am close with are AWESOME! We bail each other out when we need someone to watch our kids, but it all evens out in the end.

I used to have a neighbor like her, though. I don't miss her.

Eileen said...

Good for you! Taking a stand on the 4th of July was the right thing to do, her kids would have been over all summer. Free babysitting.

Leaving them at the snackbar at T. is insane. Glad you took your break, not your responsibility. I wish the person who took your spot had her paged by security or something.


Pamela said...

there are so many people who can't have kids...

and then you see people who really don't deserve them...

Marfa-Everyday Stuff With Marfa said...

I have learned that in life there are many good people, but there are just as many inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless people. The way that I have learned to deal with the second group is to be on alert and say no. Leaving her children at the counter with you, while you are working, is a no-no. You need to think ahead and be prepared. If she ever pulls something like that again you need to tell her straight out: So and so, I am working right now and I won't be taking care of your children. If you leave them here they will be by the themselves, I won't be keeping an eye on them. If something happens to them, it will be your responsibility. I will be forced to let my manager know that there are unattended children here.

Will she hate you for it? Yes! Should you care? No! Users don't like people with a backbone, but that's their problem, not ours.

~Virginia~ said...

Love thy neighbor doesn't mean letting yourself be treated like a doormat, so you were totally in the right! Don't feel bad about that at all!

rjlight said...

wow,sounds like she needs to learn about boundaries!