24 Years Ago

Sometimes it feels like 100 years ago, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I married my soul mate and love of my life.

Our 25+ years together has been bumpy, rocky and sometimes seemingly impassable, but here we are one year shy of our silver anniversary.  I can only attribute that to the both of us growing into stronger and more forgiving people, and having faith.

Twenty-five years ago my mother told me we would never last. She blamed John for almost killing me after I was very near death from a tubal pregnancy. She sat my then fiance' down and told him I was damaged goods and he deserved better because I had been sexually abused- right in front of me like I wasn't even there, meanwhile John sat calmly and let her finish, then told her plainly that I had told him EVERYTHING about my childhood. Her sabotage didn't work, thank God, because I had been completely honest with him in our first week of dating.

She made me change my wedding date 4 different times because she had plans, unwilling to change her plans for my wedding. She took control of my wedding planning and told John he could only invite 15 people out of 250 invites because she was going to pay for the reception as a gift. She eventually threw me a wedding shower but then kept all the gifts that I had stored at their house while I was in the Navy, all because John argued that 15 people were not enough from his side. She cancelled the wedding reception, kept my shower gifts AND told me she had prayed and God told her she (and the rest of my family)  wasn't allowed to go to the wedding... then lied to my brothers that because I was mad I had uninvited all of them.

My mother's pastor grudgingly held our wedding ceremony in a dirty church with small pieces of lint and paper scraps in the aisle, after my mother - I am sure- told him how I had been disrespectful to her. He didn't look at me a single time during the wedding ceremony, which was certainly rushed and maybe lasted 10-15 minutes. He glanced at John a few times but only looked over my head.

None of my immediate family came to our wedding, but my mother's sister and her family came, including my aunt's in-laws who let us call them "granny" and "gramps" as kids. My art teacher from high school came, I was and still am so very touched she would do that for me. We had navy friends there, and John had quite a few family members that flew and drove from Iowa and Virginia. I had my great grandmother and some high school friends who showed up for me as well.

We had about maybe 40 people show up to our wedding, but some of the guests did not go to the reception. All in all, we spent 1000.00 for our wedding, my off the rack wedding dress costing just under half of that. The rest was spent on flowers, a 2 tier wedding cake and flowers we ordered from a grocery store, and John and his brother's tuxedo rentals. Luckily a family friend and mom of one of my high school classmates had heard about how my mother had treated us and she graciously approached John and I about having our reception at her house near her pool, and she and another family friend bought and cooked the food for us for a measly 100.00. What a blessing that was!

When it came time for the wedding to begin, I almost had a nervous breakdown because John decided that arriving 5 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start was completely appropriate! I figured after all the craziness he has experienced from my family during our 11 month engagement, he had probably gotten cold feet.

I still missed having my family there, but was very thankful for the family that did show up; my aunt and her family, and my art teacher- who secretly I had always wished had been my cool and quirky mom. I was very blessed to have had a father-in-law who had been sweet enough to ask me if he could walk me down the aisle, even though we hadn't met yet.

The first 25 years of our relationship- just like our wedding day- has been bitter sweet, but mostly sweet. I willingly give my husband most of the credit, though. He knows how genuinely messed up I am and loves me despite all of it. He knows me like no other, he knows all of my dark secrets. Every. Single. One. And I am almost positive that I know all of his. We are both damaged from our childhoods. Sometimes we can be rough around the edges but we manage to love each other through it, because we see value in all that we have conquered in the past.

What makes our relationship continue to grow despite rough patches? I think it's because our valleys have been so low at times that it makes the high points that much higher. It's the bitter in the bittersweet that makes it all that much richer and sweeter.

My younger brother told me a few years ago that considering I was the black sheep of the family, he had always thought that I would be the one married 3 times with all sorts of kids. We both had a good laugh out of that since he and my older brother have both been married 3 times each, and here I am chugging along in my imperfect but lengthy marriage.

From meager and troubled beginnings we came... A 19 year old bride and a 21 year old groom.We were talking last night in bed, just an hour into our official 24th anniversary. Looking back, we would have still kept our wedding small if it meant we would do it our way, on our terms.

OR used that 1000.00 to get married in Vegas. *wink*

To my husband, The Male Income Support Unit:

I love you, John. Thank you for loving me when I was unlovable, forgiving me when I was unforgivable, and for understanding my crazy from it's deepest roots. Thank you for giving me 3 adorable kids and 25 years.


The first 25 years have been a doozy... I can't wait to see where we go from here! All I can say is it better not involve me getting pregnant again.


Love,

Me

The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told: A Book Review

Had I been given the opportunity 10 years ago to review a book chock full of history, I might have said no. In high school, try as I might, history was always the first subject that I fell asleep in- mostly related to the lack of decent sleep because of my childhood. That would be my history and we won't talk about that today.

When I saw that The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told (by Rick Beyer) was available for review, I seriously contemplated not doing it. I told my husband- a huge history buff- and his response was "Sweet! I definitely want to read that!", vs. my response which I said in a joking manner "Wow, this is really- *snort snore* ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....". ;)

BUT, I am here to say that this definitely is NOT the case. After reading this book for just a few minutes I was enthralled and I couldn't put it down. The best part? For once I knew something of history that my dear husband did not! I realized that my inability to retain important dates and historical facts was because of my childhood, not because there was a lack of wanting to know.

The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told is full of funny and interesting tidbits of history, from our founding fathers up to recent U.S. presidents. Some of the historical facts included in this book are:

• George Washington could have been born a Brit, had it not been for his grandfather and a custody battle involving George's father and uncle.
• Aaron Burr, one of history's more infamous characters, was responsible for the matchmaking of (then) Congressman James Madison to his future wife, Dolley.
• Thomas Jefferson disliked the Bible's New Testament enough that he cut and pasted the parts that suited him into what is now referred to as The Jefferson Bible.
• Despite being known as one of the more self-disciplined presidents, John Quincy Adams was later discovered to have enjoyed bathing naked in the Potomac every morning, even after a near death experience.
• President Lincoln had a premonition of his untimely death, just 3 short days before.
• The Smithsonian isn't named after an American, but after a British Chemist who left all of his money to the U.S. government after his death in 1853 to "increase... knowledge among men"- to the tune of a half million, which is roughly worth $10 million today.

These are just a few of the quirky facts in this book, and I really enjoyed reading every juicy detail. The information in this book sheds light on relatively unknown facts about the important men in U.S. history, but in an engaging and sometimes humorous way. What I loved about reading this book was discovering the human in our forefathers, the men that have become like gods and mythical creatures.

They were just men after all, only better dressed. ;)

I hope you have enjoyed my review of The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told. Even if you think you don't love history, you are bound to love something about this book.



*** All the book reviews done for HarperCollins or Collins Publishing (an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishing) are done with one stipulation- I receive the book for free and read it. If I like it, I review it on my blog. These are not paid reviews per se, except for receiving the book.***