Monday, February 06, 2006

How to make a 3o minute meal in 2 hours

1. First gather all of your ingredients the night
before ( one box of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger
Macaroni) and place on counter. Forget to get the
ground beef out of the freezer.

2. The day of your fabulous feast, get 1 lb of ground
beef out of the freezer. Place in a bowl in the fridge

3. While procrastinating about whether or not you want
to risk eating left over spaghetti
again so soon for lunch, make macaroni noodles anyway
since you cant find any spaghetti.

4. Have lunch, get upset stomach.

5. 3 hours later when the male income support unit
arrives home from work, realizing that you have no
milk to make your delicious meal, send him out on a
dairy quest.

6. Whilst waiting 20 minutes for dairy products: chase
a 9 month old away from the pointy metal, 60 yr old
heating vent 100 times, and argue with a 4 1/2 yr old
about whether or not you wish to watch a 6th hour of
the Food Network as per her wishes. You may also want
to wonder why it's taking 20 minutes for milk to
arrive safely home, when there is a perfectly good gas
station/mini mart 1 block away.

7. Fume when the milk finally arrives, because ...
well the milk finally arrived and because you forgot
to start cooking the still completely frozen ground
beef while Operation Lactose was in progress.

8. Proceed to cook meat, add said milk and water as
per meal instructions. Look at the expiration date on
the Box O'Deliciousness.

9. Slam dunk box in the trash, then turn off the stove

10. Have heated discussion with the Dairy Commando
about whether or not you should wing beef/macaroni
cheesiness with a box of Craft Macaroni and Cheese.

11. Take the ground bull by the horns and start
another 20 minute process, Mac and Cheese.

12. Drain most of the milk and water from the beef and
add Mac and Cheese.

13. Taste. Add 1/4 cup of cheese on hand, Mozzarella.

14. Taste. Add Monterrey jack/ Cheddar mixed shredded

15. Taste. Add 3 pieces of American sandwich cheese.

16. Taste. Give up and serve to self and doubtful
looking husband... after 4 1/2 year old says she is
not going to eat that, she wants chicken nuggets, and
after assuring husband that it will not hurt your
feelings if he doesn't want to eat it either.

17. Eat but do not enjoy Beef Con Tres Quesos Y
Place remainder of meal in the fridge for safe

I hope you have enjoyed 120 Minute Semi-Homemade Meals
With Mert.

Please write in and tell me how you liked my special
recipe, y'all!


Mommy the Maid said...

That is dinner almost everynight at Casa de Mommy the Maid. LOL

Thanks for sumbitting this to the Carnival! Be sure to check it out at my place on Monday :D

Mert said...

Thanks! Nice to know I am not the only one with
culinary disasters! I am writing myself a note to make
sure I remember this time to put a link up to the
carnival, that day.

Kailani said...

Hmmm . . . I'm not sure I'll be trying that recipe any time soon. LOL!

Here via Carnival of Family Life but you know I would have stopped by anyway.

Hey, you should think about hosting the carnival one week. I think you'd be great at it!

Kerri said...

Funny, funny. For me, because it wasn't my experience. At least not today. :P