12

My baby is going to be 12 in 21 days. TWELVE.

My oldest child... the beginning of something truly beautiful, a new phase of my life that I thought I would never be lucky enough to experience.


It's been gritty and tortuous being a parent, and at other times soulful and stomach-hugging hilarious.

Today, I realized that my oldest child is so much like me, so much more than I had ever realized. I mean, I had always thought she looked a little more like me and we share a eerily similar sense of humor. We inflect on words the same, and our laughs can be the same growly, bark of a laugh or nearly the same hysterical howl. We share almost the exact same nose, and we both feel the same dread over the size.

But beyond all of that, while we talked about friendships, I could see the person she is becoming. At some point we were both exasperated and my eyes were opened, as I forced myself to listen more instead pontificating aloud, sharing my "refined" wisdom as an adult.

As I admitted to her that I didn't know everything I saw something click in my daughter, as if those were the words she had been longing me to say since her existence.

I stopped for a moment and told her that all I ever want for her in life is to do good, and not make the same mistakes I did. My words are meant as a cautionary tale, never judgement. I want to give my kids all the things my mother didn't like sound advice and a bent ear... understanding.

We had an honest talk about a friendship she has that has turned sour, and this person is no longer viewed through rose colored glasses and Anna is finally seeing her for who she really is: a mean spirited brat who enjoys humiliating and bullying others. Now that Anna has rekindled a friendship from  grade school- who this mean little bully does not like- now the bully has caught my daughter in her icy glare. Anna has now been bullied.

Don't weep for my child, make no mistake... my daughter is strong in will and most of the time character. I am proud of her for standing up to this miserable little person, and for standing her ground.

She is a bit hard headed like her dad's side of the family, and she can be a little tender under her hard shell... both of which she gets from me I think. It hurts me to see her frustration (and hurt, though she refuses to admit it), but I laid out the options/choices ahead of her in this situation.

1. The obvious backstabbing and dirtying of the name of said person, justified by tales of all the ways this person has hurt her... which NEVER ends well and ALWAYS backfires.

2. Stay neutral and continue to defend herself while faking her way through this botched "friendship".

3. MOVE ON. Leave it all behind and enjoy those people who really truly are her friends.

She did say midway through our talk that she had just had the realization, "Why am I bothering to be friends with her?"

So if nothing hopefully she now understands that confiding in her mom can be cathartic and therapeutic, and that I am an ally and not the enemy.

And maybe, just maybe she realizes that I do pretty much know what I am talking about. Most of the time.

Usually.

I learned today that it's not such a bad thing that we are so much alike.

I hope that one day she realizes it too.

Peace,
Mary

Did I just make a big mistake?

In typical Mert fashion, I am doubting myself for switching my blog over to Wordpress. Don't get me wrong, I think I can benefit from having a different blog for my reviews over there. One feature that I love about Wordpress is that I can write a post and have it post at a certain date and time.

BUT, I'm thinking... Maybe I should have just registered my sewing business domain name. Right now, the url is almostsomewhatpositive.com/positivelydelightful. My new blog has a zero page ranking, my old one is a 4. Having links from my old blog could potentially get me more business. Also, if someone does a search for positively delightful baby quilts, will they even find me since my current set up is a sub domain, because my business doesn't actually have it's own domain name?

I had heard that other people had businesses on the Wordpress format, but now I'm not even sure that this will work for me. I think I am having buyers remorse in a way. Though I am proud of myself for taking the plunge, I think I should have done a little more homework in running a business online.

Another issue and benefit to having a 4 page rank is that sometimes my blog posts have ranked higher that big websites. Say for instance the book How To Eat Like A Hot Chick that I reviewed recently. In a Google search my blog post recently ranked one spot below an Amazon.com product listing link. Not too shabby. See what I mean? See what I could be giving up?

On top of all of that, I just read a blog post today about how changing your URL could be one of the biggest mistakes you make as far as readership and traffic. And the link was delivered to my email in box. Coincidence?

The good thing is that experience seals knowledge... you learn from your mistakes, right? So, as much of pain it has been to set up 4 new blogs (changing feeds, transferring blog posts...)- and as much of a pain I have been to you guys for making you resub to a new feed, I think that 2 are coming down because I don't think either is going to work for the big picture. I hate to say that it comes down to numbers but as far as trying to get my new business of the ground, but it has A LOT to do with numbers. Starting a new business is a major life change, and I don't know if you have noticed but I'm kind of nervous.

So, If I could as you to bear with me until I get this all sorted out meaning my doubts, worries, concerns, fears LOL, I will be keeping the blog here at Blogger. I think that I'll end up keeping my main blog here, but still have my review site at the new URL, and just buy a new domain name for my business.

I think. I'm Almost Somewhat Positive *wink*. Change your book marks back to this blog please. I'll be updating this one forevah and evah, I promise.

Thanks,
~mert