Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Life Lessons, anyone?

I love those commercials on the TLC channel that talk about life lessons, they really crack me up. Have you guys seen those?

"Merlot and email do not mix."

Anyway, I was thinking as I was putting my freshly laundered bras away about a mishap I had at a family wedding, which led to #1 on my list of 10 Life Lessons:

1· Never wear a new bra to a social function, always test drive it a few days before. You never know when the girls will decide to Escape From Alacatraz and head south.

2· If you find something you can't live without on sale, buy it. Chances are when you come back later in the week it will be gone. You can always return it later if you change you mind.

3· Never leave your game on pause without saving first. Toddlers love lights and buttons.

4· Speaking of kids- if you are hungry make twice the amount because your kids are going to want what you are eating, even though they just finished eating. The grilled cheese is always cheesier on the other side of the fence.

5· Sharp and pointy toys such as blocks are best appreciated by all in the kids room. Never let them in the family room because they like to sneak up on adults at night and bite them on the foot.

6· Leave the home improvement to the professionals. Hiring help for work beyond your expertise is generally not frowned upon, unless you enjoy doing the same project over and over until you get really good at it from all the practice. Or you decide the project is completed because you just don't care anymore.

7· Grilling + bacon = a beautiful and glorious grill fire that will eventually go out once the 3 lbs of bacon fat has burned off.

8· Charred bacon WILL scorch grass on contact.

9· When trying a new migraine medicine before bed, make sure you are wearing a decent bra and nightgown. Also, leg shaving is not necessary, but EMT's do appreciate this. EKG electrodes stick better on clean shaven legs.

10· Benadryl chewable tablets are a wonderful medicine to keep on hand, you never know when you will have an allergic reaction. See #9

Uh, thank ya, than yuh ver mush.

Anyone else feel like sharing?

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