Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thankful

I have been a little burned out with the whole blogging thing, I honestly don't feel like I have anything that is too terribly interesting to say. Maybe I am a little depressed, with the past recently rearing it's ugly head...

I sit, type, then delete. Maybe my life isn't that interesting. Maybe I have nothing to contribute. Maybe all my natural resources are gone, my oil has run dry. Maybe my blog has had a short but sweet life and it is time for me to move on. I don't know... Maybe it's the holidays getting me down. Again.

After I wrote the first few lines, I decide to make the title of this post Thankful. I am going to get myself out of this funk and write about the things I am thankful for, I thought to myself.

I am thankful for my Husband, I honestly don't know where I would be without him in my life. He loves me so much... I know I annoy the crap out of him sometimes, but I haven't been served any papers yet, and the fact that he is still here despite all of the stuff... Well, I am so lucky. I am thankful that we can still make each other laugh, and that he still finds me attractive. :O) The fact that he loves me for me is a wonderful thing.He is my kindred spirit, and I love him for it.

There were so many days before we became pregnant with Anna, when I didn't even want to get out of bed. Not being able to have kids for the first 11 years of our marriage was really hard. I am surprised that we made it. We definitely had our rough patches and almost called it quits a few times, not so much because we didn't have kids but because we were self centered and immature. God must have known that weren't ready. Having children has helped us (and forced us, LOL) to love each other so much more. We were definitely missing something in our lives and marriage, we both wanted kids.

I am thankful for my daughters. I am so happy that God saw that we needed them. Again, I don't where we would be without them, they bring so many things to this family, I don't know where to begin! They are both funny, can be sweet, can be giving, are mostly feisty and unabashedly stubborn. All of those things make us laugh, some of them make us very annoyed, but we wouldn't have it any other way. That's our girls, Anna and her Mini Me, Emma. I am so grateful to have them in my life, and they have brought me so much joy, and have helped me to want to be a better person.

I am thankful for my brother Ben. We don't talk everyday, or week but we know that we are going to pick up right where we left off, which is usually laughing so hard we are crying. My brother accepts me for who I am and vice versa, and I love him more than anything. It doesn't matter where we are, or what we are doing we both know that we will drop everything just to talk. He is kindred spirit #2.

I am sooo thankful for my friend Effie. We are so much a like, and have fought like sisters at times. Man have we made each other steaming mad! We have had some doozies! It doesn't matter though, we always gravitate back to one another. We can go for months without talking and like my brother, pick up right where we left off. She is my third kindred spirit.

I am thankful that despite all the bad things that have happened to me, that I am still here.

I am thankful that I am still learning, that I am willing (and trying) to change.

I am thankful for the my blog and the opportunities it has given me to meet new people, express myself, and to challenge myself.

I am thankful for everything I have, and what God has blessed me with. I am grateful that He thinks I am worth it, and despite a spiritual dry spell that He is still with me.

I don't know how much longer I will be able to blog, but at least I had my say. My thankfulness is out there, and that's good enough for me.

12 comments:

Sassy Momma said...

I don't get time to read many blogs, but I do have yours saved in my favorites. Thank you!

Willowtree said...

That's a long post for someone who doesn't have anything to say. When I get like that I just post a picture.

The really annoying thing is that I always get more comments on a post with a picture that took 3 minutes than on a well written piece that took 3 hours.

Karianne said...

Infertility is the worst! I look back and honestly wonder how anyone actually makes it through. But we do!

This is not a plea, but I love blogs that don't have profound things to say. I like the mundane, it is so special to read that others have dirty rugs like mine!

I'm loving what I've read so far, but take care of you!

Karianne

Crazy Fat Chick said...

It sounds like you have alot to be thankful for.

I agree with Karianne - I like reading the blogs that are just about average people with average lives.

I don't have a life that is anything special and I never feel I like have anything to say. I blog because it is therapeutic for me. I have offended strangers with my comments about being crazy and I have offended my friends with my honesty. But, this is for me, not for them.

Holly said...

You should think not for a moment about whether you blog enough or compare yourself to others...you are who you are and THAT is enough! The fun thing is just sharing from the heart which you've done so nicely! I've said it before, but I'll say it again, blogging for me is like sneezing. I get a big wave of stuff usually all at once. I just save started articles with titles when stuff hits me. It may take me a long time to get back to one to finish, but I find the ideas come in those big sneezes for me! Silly hugh?! LOL Just shows there no right or wrong way - - just people being people which is why this works. ;o)

Hugs,
Holly
Holly's Corner

Jenny said...

Girl, I can so relate. It took Victor and I 8 years of our marriage to finally successfully have a baby and it just sucked the life out of me at the time.

I'm only now being able to feel refueled. (With a little perscription help, of course)

The Foo said...

Good post! I love posts that are written from the heart -- those are the best ones.

Everyone gets writers block - so you are not alone. I tend to write in bunches then post date them or write save them as drafts for many days to come. I find blogging a release from the real world - which I sometimes want to get away from.

Thanks for visiting my blog! You are always welcome there!

...my 2 cents said...

Sorry you're feeling blah. There are plenty of times when I have no idea what to write about on my blog either... I have a feeling alot of people are like that.

Good idea to write a list about what you're thankful for, or happy about, when you're feeling down. That's what I did recently also!

I hope you get to feeling better soon!!

I do love coming to your blog, I have it saved to my favorites!

semitough said...

I'm thankful to know I'm not the only one who obsesses over their blog to the point that all the fun gets sucked right out of it. :-)

Hang in there!

maggie said...

I like your blog and think it is really creative. I am not an interesting person either but... hey I put it on the internet in hopes to bore people. LOL

Pass the Torch said...

I'm sorry you've been bummed lately. And I know a thing or two about obsessing over a thing until it's beaten to a pulp.

I think you're wise to write about what you're thankful for. Very wise.

So now, you need to tell me what your comment meant on my post today!

Mert said...

Thanks you guys, sorry it took me a while to respond. This is something I just wrote to Bond, who's blog is
http://bondsbigleathercouch.blogspot.com/, it explains why my blog was unreadable off and on recently.

I was thinking for a bit that I might quit blogging, the post before the last one was a bummer. I am feeling better now. During that week, I had my permissions changed from public to "only people I chose", no one was actually on that list. I knew if I checked that option, everyone would be blocked from reading it while (during my funk) I decided what the heck I was doing. It was nothing personal, I assure you!

I hope I didn't offend anyone, I was just a moody mess.