I have been a little burned out with the whole blogging thing, I honestly don't feel like I have anything that is too terribly interesting to say. Maybe I am a little depressed, with the past recently rearing it's ugly head...
I sit, type, then delete. Maybe my life isn't that interesting. Maybe I have nothing to contribute. Maybe all my natural resources are gone, my oil has run dry. Maybe my blog has had a short but sweet life and it is time for me to move on. I don't know... Maybe it's the holidays getting me down. Again.
After I wrote the first few lines, I decide to make the title of this post Thankful. I am going to get myself out of this funk and write about the things I am thankful for, I thought to myself.
I am thankful for my Husband, I honestly don't know where I would be without him in my life. He loves me so much... I know I annoy the crap out of him sometimes, but I haven't been served any papers yet, and the fact that he is still here despite all of the stuff... Well, I am so lucky. I am thankful that we can still make each other laugh, and that he still finds me attractive. :O) The fact that he loves me for me is a wonderful thing.He is my kindred spirit, and I love him for it.
There were so many days before we became pregnant with Anna, when I didn't even want to get out of bed. Not being able to have kids for the first 11 years of our marriage was really hard. I am surprised that we made it. We definitely had our rough patches and almost called it quits a few times, not so much because we didn't have kids but because we were self centered and immature. God must have known that weren't ready. Having children has helped us (and forced us, LOL) to love each other so much more. We were definitely missing something in our lives and marriage, we both wanted kids.
I am thankful for my daughters. I am so happy that God saw that we needed them. Again, I don't where we would be without them, they bring so many things to this family, I don't know where to begin! They are both funny, can be sweet, can be giving, are mostly feisty and unabashedly stubborn. All of those things make us laugh, some of them make us very annoyed, but we wouldn't have it any other way. That's our girls, Anna and her Mini Me, Emma. I am so grateful to have them in my life, and they have brought me so much joy, and have helped me to want to be a better person.
I am thankful for my brother Ben. We don't talk everyday, or week but we know that we are going to pick up right where we left off, which is usually laughing so hard we are crying. My brother accepts me for who I am and vice versa, and I love him more than anything. It doesn't matter where we are, or what we are doing we both know that we will drop everything just to talk. He is kindred spirit #2.
I am sooo thankful for my friend Effie. We are so much a like, and have fought like sisters at times. Man have we made each other steaming mad! We have had some doozies! It doesn't matter though, we always gravitate back to one another. We can go for months without talking and like my brother, pick up right where we left off. She is my third kindred spirit.
I am thankful that despite all the bad things that have happened to me, that I am still here.
I am thankful that I am still learning, that I am willing (and trying) to change.
I am thankful for the my blog and the opportunities it has given me to meet new people, express myself, and to challenge myself.
I am thankful for everything I have, and what God has blessed me with. I am grateful that He thinks I am worth it, and despite a spiritual dry spell that He is still with me.
I don't know how much longer I will be able to blog, but at least I had my say. My thankfulness is out there, and that's good enough for me.