Friday, November 10, 2006

Profound, disturbing...OK, just profoundly disturbing.

So, I had one of those days yesterday. It wasn't really a bad one per se, actually it was just weird. Kind of fitting since yesterdays Thursday Thirteen was 13 Weird Things About Mary.

My day started off as a normal week day: Get up, get Anna up, feed her, dress her, send her off to school, blog a little, hear Emma wake up at 9:30 and start her routine, clean, clean, blog, clean, nap time,...

Around 12:30pm , after I put Emma down for a nap I hear a chirping on my phone. Since getting my phone about 3 months ago, and after having to get an Illinois number (because there weren't numbers available for Iowa), I have had a lot of walkie talkie alerts and even some strangers trying to talk to the previous owner of the WT number. Numerous. I am thinking the previous owner was very popular, possibly for unsavory reasons, one being- dare I say it... booty calls. Well, either that or distribution of Mary Jane.

Anyway, I was taking a break on the couch while Emma babbled herself to sleep and I hear the chirping. I ignored it like I usually do. A few minutes later my WT chirped again, this time I looked at the phone and recognized the WT number as one that has been paging me for the whole 3 months I had had the phone. This person mumbles something on my walkie talkie. GARH! I suddenly became annoyed with this persons persistence despite me turning my phone off, usually after repeated alerts/pages.

I grabbed my phone, and sternly said, "Hello... you have the wrong number."

He says, "What's going one, so and so?

"This is Mary, you have the wrong number!"

He then mumbled something again, and I turned my phone off. After a few minutes I turned it back on, so that if Anna's school needed to get a hold of me for some reason, they could.

Chirp."Hey Mary..."


"How you doin'?"

I started to giggle uncontrollably, and shut my phone off immediately. How absurd! I later told John that I know for a fact that I have the least sexy voice on the planet, and that I believe I sound like Kermit the Frog. John laughed and said that wasn't true. I laughed back and said it was, and I just didn't get why a stranger would want to talk to me. Then I remembered my theory.... Ahhhhh yes, the good old booty call.

Oh, but wait there's more! After Anna came home from school, we played 6 games and she beat me at every one of them. Even after I declared that one round wouldn't be counted because she cheated. Honestly, this was not my desperate attempt to win just one single game, she really did cheat. Try as I might to salvage some dignity, she beat my butt again at dominoes. "See mommy, I still wo-on, I sti-ill wo-on..."

Later, Emma would watch a tape of Sesame street and point to Big Bird, calling him momma. I guess that is just plain good luck because I would rather be Big Bird than The Beast.

Speaking of good luck, since John was working some serious overtime last night I decided to order Chinese food for us gals. At the end of dinner, I opened my fortune cookie and fell back into my chair with more uncontrollable giggling. My fortune was this:
"The greatest danger could be your stupidity."

The day ended perfectly with me telling Emma that I loved her as I was lying with her to put her to bed. She looked at me and scrunched up her eyes, and with a puckered smile she said one word. Poop.

"Poop? What do you mean, poop?"

Then she laughed at me.You know the laugh where you aren't so much laughing as much as trying to stifle a laugh, in the process making a "pppttttt" sound and spitting a little? Yeah that one. She answered me with another word. Momma.

So, to summarize:
I got hit on by a desperate stranger, via walkie talkie.
I was humiliated by my 5 year old.
My cookie insulted me.
And my 19 month old referred to me as a humongous, yellow bird... and poop.

I did have a proud moment though, Anna decided that she wants to have her ears pierced. In the Mexican culture it's not uncommon to have your child's ears pierced as a baby. I thought about it, but decided that it really should be her choice. When Anna heard at 4 yrs old that it was going to hurt like a big dog, she said she was never going to have it done. She also decided that she wouldn't have kids either. :O) Last night she told me that 2 of her friends at school have pierced ears, one had them done recently.

We are going to have them done tonight, when there will be 2 sales ladies available to do her ears simultaneously. I know my girl enough to know that she will freak out and not want to go through with the second one. I have filled her in on all of the particulars, sparing nothing - including that it will hurt. A lot. She is still excited though, because my plan to distract her from the pain is to take her earring shopping afterwards. It's a big decision for her, and always told her it is her choice. Say a prayer for her, will you? She doesn't do pain very well. What 5 year old does?

My baby is growing up.


Bond said...

OH MY! LOL what a day you had!

Wondering how long before your mysterious stranger calls back hoping for some success! LOL

Thanks for siting on THE COUCH come back anytime. you visit earned you a link in the TT list! LOL

scribbit said...

Good luck with the earrings, it's been a topic of heavy discussion around here for six months with my 12 year old.

Michelle said...

What a day!

and I mean
Good!ness! . . .

MommaM said...

OH MY GOODNESS! You had me laughing at the phone calls, and then the POOP? And I thought I was the only one wierd things happened to, ha ha!

Thank you for helping me laugh today. Busy day, but now I have a smile on my face to deal with some craziness. ;) 2 cents said...

What a crazy day! Your girls both sound funny, with lots of personality!

Good luck w/ the ear piercing!!

kailani said...

Wow, she's brave. I didn't get the nerve to get my ears pierced until I was 23 years old!

Karmyn R said...

When I got my new phone last year, I had TONS of calls from the pre-teen girl set - calling for Jeremy. I just had to cringe - wishing all those girls had a little more self-respect.

Let us know how the ear piercing went!!!! I didn't do mine until 18 - I was too chicken up until then and then last Christmas, I got my ears double pierced so that my 8yr old niece would do hers! (and guess what - it still hurt)