Well, Sasha is going back to the people we bought her from. I had no choice but to use a crate because I couldn't chase her around all day cleaning up pee.I could take her out every hour but she sometimes wouldn't go, then come in and pee on the floor. I couldn't keep her locked in the kitchen with a gate because this where my cats go through to the garage to their litter. They are too old to jump over gates. For the most part when I wasn't on the floor with Sasha, she would have to be in the laundry room.
It would seem that since she was an outside dog who was used to all day socialization with her litter mates the whole 4 months of her life... Staying in a laundry room and crate when I was not able to supervise her every move has made her hyperactivity worse. The more hyper she is, the harder she bites and the more she knocks Emma down and freaks Anna out. She is so hyper that the word NO has lost it's meaning to her.
Last night was the last straw, no matter how I tried to calm her down, she would run back and forth trying to bite me as she passed. She has only been with us for a little over a week, so I don't know how much of this is her shedding her quiet depression (like when we first got her, but even then she was pretty hyper when we would try to have family time with her) and showing us her true colors, or how much of it is my fault. Again, she was pretty hyper when we got her, and has only gotten worse. She bit me so hard last night that I knew I couldn't trust her around Emma. The more she acts this way, the more I have to put her in the laundry room, (and from previous comments on posts that I deleted last night because I was so freaking depressed about the whole thing) from what I understand crating can make dogs hyper because they are so excited from being let out. It's going to be a horrible cycle, getting worse and worse until she maims one of my kids. then she will have to go anyway.
After a tearful one sided talk with my husband , I told him that I knew he didn't want to deal with the seller BUT the fact that crating her has made her hyperactivity worse, what would it do to her to have her stuck in a box at a shelter? Surely it would make an already bad situation much worse. What chance would she have to be adopted then? I would rather eat 175$ in hopes that she can have a somewhat normal life with her litter mates and the family she knows then to live with the guilt that she is stuck in a box somewhere with no hope.
Anyway, we are going to eat the 175$ and take her back on Saturday. the seller has a viewing today, and a funeral to go to on Friday, so Sasha will be going back Saturday. It's very frustrating but I guess it's 175$ worth of valuable experience for me. Yeah, it's an expensive lesson to learn but maybe I have realized I may not be capable of raising a dog. I don't know, I really don't like myself very much right now and I am very confused as to what kind of person I am right now. I feel really bad that it has turned out this way. I had thought last night that I felt nothing for her because this situation is so difficult, but the fact that I am getting teary thinking about giving her up tells me that isn't so.
We won't ever adopt a dog that old again, that's for sure. I read that at 12 weeks their personality is already fully developed and that teaching a dog certain things should happen before then. She was 17 weeks when we got her. I think that since she was an outside dog, lived with 4 other litter mates in a pen, and the fact that she was an older puppy made this a tough situation. Couple that with my situation and not being able to supervise her every second and needing to gate her in a laundry room more than I wanted... We aren't even talking about how freaked out Anna was about her. A smaller puppy would have been better, and if I had just waited another week I could have adopted a 8 week old puppy. But NO, I just had to go get a dog that very second.
I most likely won't ever get a dog again, maybe I'm just a cat person, I don't know. Maybe with my current circumstances, I just don't have what it takes. I am saddened by all of this, and I am not at all happy about taking her back. It has nothing to do with the money. I am so bummed I figured that people who read my blog would really dislike me for all of this, I almost deleted my blog last night. I just want to crawl into bed and forget about it, I feel like I am giving one of my kids up or something. I feel really bad.
Also, let me just say that no offense to those who were kind enough to post on my puppy blues ( I really do appreciate the input, I do, thanks very much... PLEASE PLEASE don't be offended), BUT I have discovered that having a puppy is a lot like having a baby. All the advice in the world including the books I have read on both babies and puppies that have given me and other readers conflicting information, doesn't amount to much in some circumstances. Dogs, like babies have their own distinct personalities, you can't have a blanket statement for either, as in This is how you do x, y, and z for all babies/dogs. They aren't cookies, all cut from from the same cookie cutter. What is good for one, isn't necessarily good for another, so before you take a book as scripture and follow it completely, know that it may not work. If a book claims to be written by a Beagle expert, don't expect that it will absolutely work. I certainly learned the hard way with my first kid that you can't follow these books like they are recipes, as we know external circumstances may affect how your cake comes out. I don't know why I expected to be able to follow a book for dogs after all of that.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to trust your instincts sometimes, and my only instinct is that she is untrainable, and has to go back.
Sorry, there is nothing positive at all about this post.