Well, Sasha is going back to the people we bought her from. I had no choice but to use a crate because I couldn't chase her around all day cleaning up pee.I could take her out every hour but she sometimes wouldn't go, then come in and pee on the floor. I couldn't keep her locked in the kitchen with a gate because this where my cats go through to the garage to their litter. They are too old to jump over gates. For the most part when I wasn't on the floor with Sasha, she would have to be in the laundry room.
It would seem that since she was an outside dog who was used to all day socialization with her litter mates the whole 4 months of her life... Staying in a laundry room and crate when I was not able to supervise her every move has made her hyperactivity worse. The more hyper she is, the harder she bites and the more she knocks Emma down and freaks Anna out. She is so hyper that the word NO has lost it's meaning to her.
Last night was the last straw, no matter how I tried to calm her down, she would run back and forth trying to bite me as she passed. She has only been with us for a little over a week, so I don't know how much of this is her shedding her quiet depression (like when we first got her, but even then she was pretty hyper when we would try to have family time with her) and showing us her true colors, or how much of it is my fault. Again, she was pretty hyper when we got her, and has only gotten worse. She bit me so hard last night that I knew I couldn't trust her around Emma. The more she acts this way, the more I have to put her in the laundry room, (and from previous comments on posts that I deleted last night because I was so freaking depressed about the whole thing) from what I understand crating can make dogs hyper because they are so excited from being let out. It's going to be a horrible cycle, getting worse and worse until she maims one of my kids. then she will have to go anyway.
After a tearful one sided talk with my husband , I told him that I knew he didn't want to deal with the seller BUT the fact that crating her has made her hyperactivity worse, what would it do to her to have her stuck in a box at a shelter? Surely it would make an already bad situation much worse. What chance would she have to be adopted then? I would rather eat 175$ in hopes that she can have a somewhat normal life with her litter mates and the family she knows then to live with the guilt that she is stuck in a box somewhere with no hope.
Anyway, we are going to eat the 175$ and take her back on Saturday. the seller has a viewing today, and a funeral to go to on Friday, so Sasha will be going back Saturday. It's very frustrating but I guess it's 175$ worth of valuable experience for me. Yeah, it's an expensive lesson to learn but maybe I have realized I may not be capable of raising a dog. I don't know, I really don't like myself very much right now and I am very confused as to what kind of person I am right now. I feel really bad that it has turned out this way. I had thought last night that I felt nothing for her because this situation is so difficult, but the fact that I am getting teary thinking about giving her up tells me that isn't so.
We won't ever adopt a dog that old again, that's for sure. I read that at 12 weeks their personality is already fully developed and that teaching a dog certain things should happen before then. She was 17 weeks when we got her. I think that since she was an outside dog, lived with 4 other litter mates in a pen, and the fact that she was an older puppy made this a tough situation. Couple that with my situation and not being able to supervise her every second and needing to gate her in a laundry room more than I wanted... We aren't even talking about how freaked out Anna was about her. A smaller puppy would have been better, and if I had just waited another week I could have adopted a 8 week old puppy. But NO, I just had to go get a dog that very second.
I most likely won't ever get a dog again, maybe I'm just a cat person, I don't know. Maybe with my current circumstances, I just don't have what it takes. I am saddened by all of this, and I am not at all happy about taking her back. It has nothing to do with the money. I am so bummed I figured that people who read my blog would really dislike me for all of this, I almost deleted my blog last night. I just want to crawl into bed and forget about it, I feel like I am giving one of my kids up or something. I feel really bad.
Also, let me just say that no offense to those who were kind enough to post on my puppy blues ( I really do appreciate the input, I do, thanks very much... PLEASE PLEASE don't be offended), BUT I have discovered that having a puppy is a lot like having a baby. All the advice in the world including the books I have read on both babies and puppies that have given me and other readers conflicting information, doesn't amount to much in some circumstances. Dogs, like babies have their own distinct personalities, you can't have a blanket statement for either, as in This is how you do x, y, and z for all babies/dogs. They aren't cookies, all cut from from the same cookie cutter. What is good for one, isn't necessarily good for another, so before you take a book as scripture and follow it completely, know that it may not work. If a book claims to be written by a Beagle expert, don't expect that it will absolutely work. I certainly learned the hard way with my first kid that you can't follow these books like they are recipes, as we know external circumstances may affect how your cake comes out. I don't know why I expected to be able to follow a book for dogs after all of that.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to trust your instincts sometimes, and my only instinct is that she is untrainable, and has to go back.
Sorry, there is nothing positive at all about this post.
5 comments:
I'm sorry to hear it turned out that way -
But, don't give up on dogs, yet. You are right, she may have been too old for you to adopt (too long outside with littermates). Perhaps there is another type of breed that would be better suited for your family when you are ready!!!
(I'm sorry if my crate comment upset you - sometimes we bloggers talk too much!!!)
You are wrong. There is something positive about this post, you have chosen to ensure that your family is as stable and stress free as possible. Well done. Geez, it was just a dog. Sure they tug at the heart strings, but they won't give you grandchildren.
17 weeks wasn't too old to adopt, the two I have now were both 9 months old when I rescued them from a shelter. The problem was having a beagle without a fenced yard. I'm not criticising, just explaining.
As for thinking less of you, at the risk of saying I told you so, one of the things I said in response to the post you deleted was that getting rid of the dog was a viable option and I still believe that to be true.
To be honest, reading this post I suspect that the dog had a breeding flaw. Since 1854 beagles have been bred specifically not to bite (I can't get mine to bite no matter what I do to it, trust me I've tried), so the fact that it not only bites, but bites hard is a real concern.
Don't give up on dogs, just get the right kind, my original suggestions haven't changed, either a Pug (a bit ugly) or a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel would be the best choice. Both love kids and both are great house dogs who need very little exercise.
Finally, fuck the money. Just tell yourself it would have cost that much for everyone to go out to a fancy restaurant for your birthday.
Karmyn, Thanks very much. It will take some time, my husband says he is never going to pay that much for a dog again, lol. I told him that if I ever do get another puppy, it will have to be when I have a job and can take it to obedience class. Right now we are on a single income, so classes were out of the question As far as offending me, I think I was/am just a little emotional and the other night- hormonal :o) Don't worry, I ain't mad at ya!
Willow Tree, I really appreciate your words of kindness, too. Like I said, I think I was really jacked up emotionally/hormonally. I have had to give up kittens before when my husband and I were first married, I have always felt guilty for that, and it has haunted me for years. It's not something I take lightly, so I think that it has something to do with me wanting to defend myself, not really anything in particular that you said. I am also a people pleaser and care a little too much about what people think of me, so again this is probably why I tend to overreact.
As far as the money, PFFFFT! It's the least of my worries, I think I had more to do with the sellers attitude towards me, and how she was unwilling to compromise. It's not as if I am just returning her because I don't want a dog all of a sudden. She has children, so I would think she would have been a little more accomidating. BUT *sigh* you know how it is when money is involved, people can turn on you. I told John not to worry about birthday or christmas presents, I'm good. That should more than make up for the money we lost in this. I ain't mad at ya, either ;O)
My MIL mentioned to some co-workers our situation, and there are 2 people interested in possibly buying her for $100. I know at least one of them knows that we would have to know by tonight since we are taking her back tomorrow at noon.
I asked Anna if she doesn't like dogs, she said no- that she just doesn't like Sasha, but would rather get a kitten. We have 2 cats out of 6 left, one is 17 yrs old so another kitten may be in order in a year or so anyway. My plan is to wait until we are down to one cat, then adopt 2 sister kittens from a shelter. I think a dog can wait until she is a little older, we'll see. I don't know, maybe one day she can help me pick one out when she is ready.
I'm so sorry to hear things didn't work out...but the fault was not yours. When my mom bred and sold dogs they were housebroken and socialized to people (mainly our family with 4 kids) never left outside in a pen. She never had a dog come back. I believe that this seller did you a severe disservice.
You have to do what is best for your family and this dog isn't it. Don't beat yourself up for this not working out.
You are right that getting a puppy is like having a baby. It's a huge committment. I've adopted dogs at all ages and with each one of them even at a year old they need to be housebroken and taught their place in the pack.
After reading the comments posted here I have more of the story and I am even more sure that you have made the best decision for your family. Your plan for cats is a good one.
Thanks Renee! I have an update to the update... you can read some good new there.
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