Carve me up like a turkey, why don't 'cha.

Last spring, I found a small lump in my right thigh. I had it checked out by my family physician, but he thought that it was probably a fatty mass (or a lipoma) and said I could see a surgeon to have it removed. It doesn't really bother me, it was a little unsettling to find a bump though. I also have a mass in my right bicep that bothers me a lot, that causes me pain, numbness and tingling down the outside of my right forearm. Couple this with the tennis mousing elbow that I already have had for the last 3 years, and the hours I spend blogging, ect... it makes for a mess of fun! I wrenched the cucamunga out of the mousing elbow on Thanksgiving lifting the turkey in and out of the oven, the pain is almost unbearable. I say almost because I refuse to give up my quality time with my mouse and keyboard.

Anyway, I had to cancel my procedure that was scheduled for this summer because there was a possibility that we were going to move. I have been putting it on hold (read sarcastically as procrastinating about it, and neglecting myself, and trying to ignore the pain), but since i will have to get a job soon, I thought the sooner the better. Besides, who will want to hire me if they know I will be out soon after because of arm surgery. All of that is well and good, because I would rather have a frontal lobotomy and arm surgery rather that start a new job in retail this time of year.

My surgeon is hoping that removing the mass will help, but the pain might not be related to the mass. He is thinking that my elbow problem is related to me *jumping out of a car when I was a teen, landing on my right side. This might also explain the "mass" in my right upper thigh, it could be my muscle protruding from the the muscles protective sheath.

*If you are curious why I might jump from a car going 40 mph... I ran away from home. When my mother found me, she forced me into my brothers car. While I was getting in, I noticed a sawed of broom handle in the back of the car. She then proceeded to beat me, mostly by grabbing my hair and beating me around the front of the car. I was pretty sure she had plans for that broom stick, and I was certain that she would kill me when we got home... so as soon as she let go of my hair for a moment, I opened the door and jumped. It was as if all I could hear was my own breathing, and a calmness came over me, and I just jumped from the car- onto a freshly graveled road. To this day, I still have rocks embedded in my left elbow, and luckily the scars from my torn up hips are now covered with stretch marks.

I had a large mass removed from my right thyroid (catching a theme here yet? What the heck is wrong the the right side of my body?) about 3 years ago, measuring about 3x5 inches *gasp!*. The mass in my bicep has grown from the size of a pea to the size of a cherry tomato since then, and since the summer I have found 2 more masses- one on each of my upper thighs. I am one lumpy broad.

So, I had a re-check up yesterday because it had been a long time the surgeon had seen me. It would seem that they like to at least have a peek at you before they slice and dice you. He decided to remove the mass in my bicep, and the small one mid thigh. He wants to do a small biopsy of the upper thigh before he cuts it open because it is so large (roughly 3 inches x5 again). Because of the thigh area being very vascular, my penchant for dropping my already low blood pressure at inopportune times, and my reactions to all the good drugs/anesthesia, he has decided that he will do the procedure at the hospital. If he feels I am doing ok, or has the time, he might take out the mass in my left thigh also... for a grand total of 4 incisions! Hooray for me!

My outpatient surgery will be next week *gulp*, Wednesday December 6, at 0945 am. I have to be there at 0745 for all the fun stuff like filling out 10 different forms- all asking the same information, the stealing of various body fluids, and having a ginormous IV needle put somewhere very uncomfortable, like my thumb or my eye lid.

If you would be so kind, please send prayers, positive thought and good vibes my way that day. I really appreciate it. BTW, this makes surgical procedure #8 for me. Yippee.

On the lighter side, as I said in one of my older posts when joking about having some "work done" while they were at it:

If I had all the fatty masses removed I would just be left with the top of my head and my toes, so I think I will just have these done for now.