Me, in a NUTshell

I saw these 2 at Robin's:

Your True Birth Month Is July

Tactful Honest Friendly Secretive Homebody Sentimental Hardworking Approachable Fun to be with Has reputation Not revengeful Easily consoled Very emotional Wary and sharp Waits for friends Likes to be quiet Witty and snarky Caring and loving Loves to be alone Overly concerned Loves to be loved Treats others equally Puts in effort in work Takes pride in oneself Moody and easily hurt No difficulties in studying Strong sense of sympathy Forgiving but never forgets Quiet unless excited or tensed Not aggressive unless provoked Concerned about people's feelings Temperamental and unpredictable Judge people through observations Easily hurt but takes long to recover Guides others physically and mentally Dislikes the nonsensical and unnecessary Difficult to fathom and to be understood Sensitive and forms impressions carefully Always broods about the past and the old friends

What's Your True Birth Month?

You Are 60% Normal

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

This one at crse's blog:

Your Brain is Purple

Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Brain?

This one I saw at Gill's blog:

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?

Grover on Ecstasy You're funny, you're lovable, you're entertaining, you like to call yourself "Super Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy. But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?
Take this quiz!








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And this one I found on my own, and find hilarious.

Because it's so true.

You Are 36% Lady

You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside. And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.

Are You A Lady?

This one too:

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people... But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

So, I'm 60% normal, 30% weird... what's the other 10%?

Oh, yeah, probably Dorky.

Hmmm... that sounds a little low to me.

Miscellaneous

My hubs sent me this one:

Think back over the newspaper headlines for the past few years and the news reports from cable and TV news. Whose members have made more headlines? NBA OR NFL?
36
have been accused of spousal abuse


7
have been arrested for fraud



19
have been accused of writing bad checks


117
have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses


3
have done time for assault

71,
repeat, 71
cannot get a credit card due to bad credit


14
have been arrested on drug-related charges

8
have been arrested for shoplifting


21
currently
are defendants in lawsuits, and


84
have been arrested for drunk driving
in the last year


Can you guess which organization this is?
NBA or NFL ?
Give up yet?



Neither, it's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.


AND THEY JUST VOTED THEMSELVES $15,000 PER MONTH PENSION FOR LIFE AFTER SERVING ONLY ONE TERM IN CONGRESS!!

Yesterday was kind of weird!

Hey now... there's a surprise, right? No. Not really. I think you all have come to expect weirdness from me and I like that.

My aunt reads my blog and comments occasionally under the name Anti Yvonne. She saw my post about what inspires me and my drawings, and she was excited that I felt inspired to start drawing again. My Anti is so sweet, she sent me $60 in the mail, in a very cute card. The problem is that the card was already opened, the envelope torn and the money gone. This isn't the first time this has happened. My BIL sent something to the MIL while she lived here, a collectors coin. That envelope was open and the coin was gone. Recently I have had miscellaneous mail open... since the envelopes looked like they had popped open and didn't appeared tampered with, I just thought that these companies were using crappy envelopes.

Now I am thinking otherwise. How awful, that you can't even trust your own post office. Anyway, I called the post office and I am going to go fill out a "riffling form" ASAP with all of the particulars. The postal worker I talked to asked if this had happened more than once and I said yes. I told him about the coin from my BIL. He said in that case, I needed to contact the police. Now, if I'm not mistaken, opening mail is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, and knowing that he was probably trying to stop some sort of "pooh storm" that I might start, he tried to blow me off. Fortunately, this man has not been blessed with opportunity to know me, otherwise he would have known that I don't give up that easily. I told him that the coin incident was from 2 years ago, and that I WILL be down there to fill these forms out ASAP.

I am wondering how far this could go, and my over active imagination suddenly pictured Gil Grissom (from CSI) dusting the inside of the card for finger prints... because if this postal worker is a complete idiot there should be 3 sets of prints. Mine, my Anti's and the idiot postal worker's. I know if I even suggest this, I will get laughed at. I know it seems like a lot of trouble to go through for 60 bucks, but my aunt worked hard for that 60 bucks and it seems logical. Right?

Anywho, my poor aunt is just feeling horrible about it. I told her not to feel bad, but I know how it feels to want to do something good for someone else, only to have some cretin pooh all over the intended goodness. What I loved though was that she bounced back by the end of the email, and said that she hoped and prayed that the person who stole the money choked on it.

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My husband got his very expensive and surprisingly heavy new toy yesterday... all as a result of scrimping and shear will power. Ain't it purty?

Did you happen to check out the price tag on that bad boy? Yup, he has been saving for over 1 1/2 years... the poor guy almost had it earlier but we needed the money for bills. I commend his will power and natural born stubbornness at saving all that money. He really is my hero. Actually, it's for the both of us and I can't wait to get out there and start clicking!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Virginia of the Virginia Monologues did her very first Thursday Thirteen yesterday. I've gotta tell you folks... Her 13 was pretty darn good, not to mention HILARIOUS! If you have a chance, go check it out . I feel that she and I are kindred spirits, and hope that we become blogging buddies. Go, you'll see what I mean.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anna went to her first dance last night, they had a Sock Hop at her school. Anna and I went and she had a really good time. The school hired a DJ, which I thought was really cool. They played songs from Grease and I tried not to sing along, so as to not embarrass the Mini-me. The DJ started to play Hand Jive and told kids to go at it. I snorted at the sight of 80 pairs of eyes staring blankly at the man in the booth.

"Eh, go ask your parents," he said when he realized what was going on. Again silence, as children and parents stared across the room at each other.

I tried to remember how to do the hand motions, drawing attention to myself. "Hey kids, go ask that lady, she looks like she knows what she's doing, "the DJ shouted, pointing in my direction. I quickly put my hands down.

Luckily another lady remembered all of the dance and showed some of the older kids. I didn't dance, though I tried to get Anna to do the twist with me. She put her hand up and said "BAAAAH!" when I asked her to dance with me.

AND so it begins.

She did look really cute though. Even if she is a stinker.

THURSDAY Thirteen #23- 13 of my most renowned Dorksasters

Here are 13 instances of my dorkdom. I'm sure I could come up with much more, but it isn't called Thursday One Hundred and Fifty-two, ya know. If it has a link, click and read. I guarantee you it's totally worth it.

1. Once on Thursday the 12th, I cooked my mothers' goose. Actually, burned it. My brothers and I were upstairs and forgot there was a goose cooking in the oven. A perfectly good, free goose- hunted, cleaned and given to us by our fellow redneck neighbors.The bird was burned so bad that the pan went in the trash with it. That's what she gets for leaving 2 adolescents and a preteen in charge of a major appliance.

2. In High school, I was given some really stylish (brand new) clothes. As I strutted my stuff down the hall to the next class, I knew that a few hotties were watching me in my skirt and 3 inch heels. One cutie even said, "D@mn, looking good, Mary!" As I turned the corner, I skidded out of control in my heels and... and fell flat on my skirted butt. One of my good friends watched the whole thing, and joined me on the floor. Not because she slipped and fell, but because she was laughing so hard. Thanks Lila!

3. I once decided to celebrate St. Patrick's day by cooking my brothers and I hamburgers with green smiley faces. The green food coloring spread over the whole hamburgers as they cooked and my brothers and I had green lips for a couple of days. My brother Ben still hasn't let me live that one down.

4. As a teen, on Thursday the 12th, I once sprained my ankle by sleepwalking off the edge of my bed.

5. Speaking of weird sleeping habits...I once had a dream as a kid that I was inside a kangaroo pouch. When I woke up, my legs were in my pillow case. * I'm not making this up people... you know me well enough by now to know that I get a kick out of humiliating myself for your enjoyment for some perverse reason.*

6. This is one of the worst meals I have ever made, and coincidentally... my very first blog post! It figures my first blog post would be one of my dorkiest moments ever...

7. Besides the "bacon incident" of course.

8. I once knocked over a voting booth. Everyone in the place turned to look at me. That is except the Male Income Support Unit, because he knew it was me.

9. I once traumatized a whole section of an airplane.

10. Sometimes I get flustered and say something really outrageous and just completely stupid. Like the time I made an odd confession to Anna's kindergarten teacher the beginning of this school year.

11. One of my all time favorite personal dorky moments. It's so dorky, I am almost proud of myself. Seriously... If there is one link you need to click in this mess, it's this one. I promise you wont be disappointed, it involves fruit punch!

12. A year after we were married, I decided that I needed to exercise my cooking muscles a little more. I decided to make fajitas. Just as I was adding the vinegar for the marinade to the meat, John decided it was a good time to tickle me. I knew right away that it was going to be a little tart, but decided to try it any way. I cooked... John was the first to start eating. i called out to the living room, " Please don't eat it if it doesn't taste good , OK?"

Just as I finished saying that, I peeked out to see John's eyes tear up as he gulped his second bite. He said it was OK, but I could tell he was just being nice. I took a bite and and immediately spit it out, screaming how awful it was. My poor, sweet husband didn't want to hurt my feelings, so he didn't tell me how bad it was and tried to choke it down as best as he could. Being newly weds and having more fun and interesting things to do, I neglected the dishes for 3 days. Those pickled fajitas sat in that pan for 3 days unchanged... they looked exactly the same as the day I "cooked" them. My husband likes to remind me of this on occasion, and we both giggle.

13. When my MIL first moved back to Iowa from Texas, she lived with us for 4 months. One day while Anna was at preschool and before she found a job, we decided to go out to breakfast. Mom got baby Emma ready while I took a shower.

Once we got to the diner, I asked, "Did you remember to change her diaper before we left?" Of course, like any other time I say something potentially dorky, a hush mysteriously fell over the restaurant... and I realized as several senior citizens turned to glare at me that it had actually sounded like I had said, "Did you remember to change your diaper before we left?"

I started to laugh hysterically, and my MIL hissed, "What did you say?" I was barely able to choke out what I had actually said, and luckily she started to laugh too, but only after she told me that she was so going to kill me when we left.

I hope you enjoyed some of my dorkiest moments... be sure to come back for more. I'm sure there will be more. For more TT's, go here.