Here are 13 instances of my dorkdom. I'm sure I could come up with much more, but it isn't called Thursday One Hundred and Fifty-two, ya know. If it has a link, click and read. I guarantee you it's totally worth it.
1. Once on Thursday the 12th, I cooked my mothers' goose. Actually, burned it. My brothers and I were upstairs and forgot there was a goose cooking in the oven. A perfectly good, free goose- hunted, cleaned and given to us by our fellow redneck neighbors.The bird was burned so bad that the pan went in the trash with it. That's what she gets for leaving 2 adolescents and a preteen in charge of a major appliance.
2. In High school, I was given some really stylish (brand new) clothes. As I strutted my stuff down the hall to the next class, I knew that a few hotties were watching me in my skirt and 3 inch heels. One cutie even said, "D@mn, looking good, Mary!" As I turned the corner, I skidded out of control in my heels and... and fell flat on my skirted butt. One of my good friends watched the whole thing, and joined me on the floor. Not because she slipped and fell, but because she was laughing so hard. Thanks Lila!
3. I once decided to celebrate St. Patrick's day by cooking my brothers and I hamburgers with green smiley faces. The green food coloring spread over the whole hamburgers as they cooked and my brothers and I had green lips for a couple of days. My brother Ben still hasn't let me live that one down.
4. As a teen, on Thursday the 12th, I once sprained my ankle by sleepwalking off the edge of my bed.
5. Speaking of weird sleeping habits...I once had a dream as a kid that I was inside a kangaroo pouch. When I woke up, my legs were in my pillow case. * I'm not making this up people... you know me well enough by now to know that I get a kick out of humiliating myself for your enjoyment for some perverse reason.*
6. This is one of the worst meals I have ever made, and coincidentally... my very first blog post! It figures my first blog post would be one of my dorkiest moments ever...
7. Besides the "bacon incident" of course.
8. I once knocked over a voting booth. Everyone in the place turned to look at me. That is except the Male Income Support Unit, because he knew it was me.
9. I once traumatized a whole section of an airplane.
10. Sometimes I get flustered and say something really outrageous and just completely stupid. Like the time I made an odd confession to Anna's kindergarten teacher the beginning of this school year.
11. One of my all time favorite personal dorky moments. It's so dorky, I am almost proud of myself. Seriously... If there is one link you need to click in this mess, it's this one. I promise you wont be disappointed, it involves fruit punch!
12. A year after we were married, I decided that I needed to exercise my cooking muscles a little more. I decided to make fajitas. Just as I was adding the vinegar for the marinade to the meat, John decided it was a good time to tickle me. I knew right away that it was going to be a little tart, but decided to try it any way. I cooked... John was the first to start eating. i called out to the living room, " Please don't eat it if it doesn't taste good , OK?"
Just as I finished saying that, I peeked out to see John's eyes tear up as he gulped his second bite. He said it was OK, but I could tell he was just being nice. I took a bite and and immediately spit it out, screaming how awful it was. My poor, sweet husband didn't want to hurt my feelings, so he didn't tell me how bad it was and tried to choke it down as best as he could. Being newly weds and having more fun and interesting things to do, I neglected the dishes for 3 days. Those pickled fajitas sat in that pan for 3 days unchanged... they looked exactly the same as the day I "cooked" them. My husband likes to remind me of this on occasion, and we both giggle.
13. When my MIL first moved back to Iowa from Texas, she lived with us for 4 months. One day while Anna was at preschool and before she found a job, we decided to go out to breakfast. Mom got baby Emma ready while I took a shower.
Once we got to the diner, I asked, "Did you remember to change her diaper before we left?" Of course, like any other time I say something potentially dorky, a hush mysteriously fell over the restaurant... and I realized as several senior citizens turned to glare at me that it had actually sounded like I had said, "Did you remember to change your diaper before we left?"
I started to laugh hysterically, and my MIL hissed, "What did you say?" I was barely able to choke out what I had actually said, and luckily she started to laugh too, but only after she told me that she was so going to kill me when we left.
I hope you enjoyed some of my dorkiest moments... be sure to come back for more. I'm sure there will be more. For more TT's, go here.