Thursday, March 15, 2007

THURSDAY Thirteen #23- 13 of my most renowned Dorksasters

Here are 13 instances of my dorkdom. I'm sure I could come up with much more, but it isn't called Thursday One Hundred and Fifty-two, ya know. If it has a link, click and read. I guarantee you it's totally worth it.

1. Once on Thursday the 12th, I cooked my mothers' goose. Actually, burned it. My brothers and I were upstairs and forgot there was a goose cooking in the oven. A perfectly good, free goose- hunted, cleaned and given to us by our fellow redneck neighbors.The bird was burned so bad that the pan went in the trash with it. That's what she gets for leaving 2 adolescents and a preteen in charge of a major appliance.wink

2. In High school, I was given some really stylish (brand new) clothes. As I strutted my stuff down the hall to the next class, I knew that a few hotties were watching me in my skirt and 3 inch heels. One cutie even said, "D@mn, looking good, Mary!" As I turned the corner, I skidded out of control in my heels and... and fell flat on my skirted butt. One of my good friends watched the whole thing, and joined me on the floor. Not because she slipped and fell, but because she was laughing so hard. Thanks Lila!

3. I once decided to celebrate St. Patrick's day by cooking my brothers and I hamburgers with green smiley faces. The green food coloring spread over the whole hamburgers as they cooked and my brothers and I had green lips for a couple of days. My brother Ben still hasn't let me live that one down.

4. As a teen, on Thursday the 12th, I once sprained my ankle by sleepwalking off the edge of my bed.

5. Speaking of weird sleeping habits...I once had a dream as a kid that I was inside a kangaroo pouch. When I woke up, my legs were in my pillow case. * I'm not making this up people... you know me well enough by now to know that I get a kick out of humiliating myself for your enjoyment for some perverse reason.*

6. This is one of the worst meals I have ever made, and coincidentally... my very first blog post!<span class= It figures my first blog post would be one of my dorkiest moments ever...

7. Besides the "bacon incident" of course.

8. I once knocked over a voting booth. Everyone in the place turned to look at me. That is except the Male Income Support Unit, because he knew it was me.

9. I once traumatized a whole section of an airplane.<span class=

10. Sometimes I get flustered and say something really outrageous and just completely stupid. Like the time I made an odd confession to Anna's kindergarten teacher the beginning of this school year.

11. One of my all time favorite personal dorky moments. It's so dorky, I am almost proud of myself. Seriously... If there is one link you need to click in this mess, it's this one. I promise you wont be disappointed, it involves fruit punch!

12. A year after we were married, I decided that I needed to exercise my cooking muscles a little more. I decided to make fajitas. Just as I was adding the vinegar for the marinade to the meat, John decided it was a good time to tickle me. I knew right away that it was going to be a little tart, but decided to try it any way. I cooked... John was the first to start eating. i called out to the living room, " Please don't eat it if it doesn't taste good , OK?"

Just as I finished saying that, I peeked out to see John's eyes tear up as he gulped his second bite. He said it was OK, but I could tell he was just being nice. I took a bite and and immediately spit it out, screaming how awful it was. My poor, sweet husband didn't want to hurt my feelings, so he didn't tell me how bad it was and tried to choke it down as best as he could. Being newly weds and having more fun and interesting things to do, I neglected the dishes for 3 days. Those pickled fajitas sat in that pan for 3 days unchanged... they looked exactly the same as the day I "cooked" them. My husband likes to remind me of this on occasion, and we both giggle.

13. When my MIL first moved back to Iowa from Texas, she lived with us for 4 months. One day while Anna was at preschool and before she found a job, we decided to go out to breakfast. Mom got baby Emma ready while I took a shower.

Once we got to the diner, I asked, "Did you remember to change her diaper before we left?" Of course, like any other time I say something potentially dorky, a hush mysteriously fell over the restaurant... and I realized as several senior citizens turned to glare at me that it had actually sounded like I had said, "Did you remember to change your diaper before we left?"

I started to laugh hysterically, and my MIL hissed, "What did you say?" I was barely able to choke out what I had actually said, and luckily she started to laugh too, but only after she told me that she was so going to kill me when we left.

I hope you enjoyed some of my dorkiest moments... be sure to come back for more. I'm sure there will be more.
wink For more TT's, go here.


Gattina said...

I think I found a competitor ! Sounds like my souvenirs, lol !

maggie said...

LOL you are a dork. Welcome to my world

Factor 10 said...

This may have to be your entry in the Dorkbloggers contest in April. You truly ARE a Grand Dork.

Pen said...

You had me laughing from #1 to #13! I think my favorite is the voting booth. I think I like it so much because your MISU didn't turn to look. That would be my husband completely!

My TT is up!

Virginia said...

This Thursday Thirteen idea has always intrigued me, but I don't know how to go about doing it (aside from writing the post) you have to sign up on a certain TT site a la Blogging Chicks? Could you point me in the right direction?!

Loved all your moments by the way! :)

April Decheine said...

I love the word Dork, I used that word a lot in High school and now hear the kids using it :-)

Becka said...

Oh my goodness! You're so brave to post these!! I'm still giggling. And blushing for you. LOL Good TT this week!


JAM said...

Cool list. No way could I match that kind of dorkiness.

But I also like how you've embraced your dorkiness. I guess it's either embrace it or cry, right?

I still like the bacon episode best.

Virginia said...

Thanks, Mert! I appreciate the info and am excited about joining in on the fun! :) Have a great day!

Raggedy said...

There is no lack of excitement of things to blog about from your world. Thanks for the chuckles.
Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
My TT is posted.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy TT'ing!
(")_ (")Š

Qtpies7 said...

I think you get into more trouble than I do! LOL
My hubby made an altered stuffing recipe of the box for Thanksgiving our first year. It called for oranges and grated orange peel. It was when our guest started choking and drinking tons of water that we discovered dh couldn't tell the difference between 2 Tbls of peel and 2 cups of peel! LOL Almost 18 years later we are still talking of it!
Not a single thanksgiving will go bye without mention of it ever, lol. WEll, until someone does something worse, hehe.
I also do not ever admit to farting. It just doesn't happen, you know, girls do not fart. Well, we were walking around Walmart and my husband kept checking dd's diaper and saying how awful she smelled, even though her diaper was clean. I certainly let that go by! LOL

Karmyn said...

That's a great list. I could probably come up with something similar - but I won't...I'm not quite ready to embrace my dorkiness.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG!!! You are NOW on my favorite's list over on my blog and are totally a daily read for me...however I will have to read this while my co-workers are NOT in the office as I spit out my water and was crying with laughter after clicking the links to the airplane story and the punch story in particular. I'd like to join the dorkbloggers too!

Stephanie said...

OMG, you are my idol!! LOL I am so impressed that I may come around again to see what else you can do.

I need help in my TT choosing scents to use in soaps.

Virginia said...

I wanted you to be the 1st to know! I've just posted my 1st TT! :) Thanks for all the help!

tiggerprr said...

You're so funny! I love your ability to laugh at yourself! :)

crse said...

Just when i think I cant love you any more. I echo Jen. You truly are a grand dork sister!

Pamela said...

very entertaining.
Just think, if you weren't a dork, would you have anything to write about?

We'd be bored with a perfect life.

alisonwonderland said...

thanks for making me smile today! :o)

Karianne said...

You always can make me laugh. And cry for that matter! And did I need you today. Thanks for this. Especially #13.

kailani said...

That kangaroo story was hilarious! I'm still laughing at the mental image I have of it!

exskindiver said...

You are right.
The punch story was worth clicking on despite my slow computer.
love the punt image.

Sanni said...

*ROFL* Excellent TT - thanks for the good laugh. Could be me in many positions. It´s good to be not alone =)

Daddy Forever said...

I'm going to have to try the green food coloring as a prank on kids. I hope the wife doesn't get too upset! Can't believe you messed up Hamburger Helper...and bacon/BLT. I don't want to be on a plane with time you might point the finger at me. And I'm not inviting you over for punch on our cream-color carpet. I see why you are the supreme dork.