Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Matter, grace under fire, and a little fruit punch

1. the substance or substances of which any physical object consists or is composed: the matter of which the earth is made.
2. physical or corporeal substance in general, whether solid, liquid, or gaseous, esp. as distinguished from incorporeal substance, as spirit or mind, or from qualities, actions, and the like.
3. something that occupies space.

If you know anything about the circus that is me, you may know that matter is irrisistably drawn to my person- usually the front of my shirt. But, this post isn't so much about that as much as it is about the substances of which Anna is composed. ;O)

This last Saturday my MIL, Anna and I went to Candice's (John's cousin's girlfriend's) baby shower. Being braver than usual, I wore a brand new outfit... what will happen next will shock and amaze you! Inside of 5 minutes of our arrival, and after arguing that since Anna is the normal messy 5 year old that maybe fruit punch in the host's living room was not such a good idea- Anna proceded to spill said fruit punch on the carpet. Fortunately, the host's carpet just happened to be a lovely mauve color so the mishap blended right in.

I quietly chided Anna as I cleaned the spill up, and quickly moved her punch out of arms length. Meanwhile, I turned mauve while apologizing to the hostess. Thankfully the attention soon moved from Anna and I, and the baby shower was under way. As we sat and munched on nachos, we talked and joked about babies, puppies, and mauve carpeting, Anna had managed to get her hands on her punch and sipped it quietly on the floor, to my right. Much to my horror, I managed to uncross my left left while punting- yes, PUNTING her styrofoam cup right out of her hand!

It went a little like this:

Anna: Arghh!

Me:*in slow motion* OOOOOOOOOH MARRRR GAAAARRRRHHHHHDDDD! *repeat 10 times, at normal speed*

None of this is that shocking or surprising to me, or to anyone else in my husband's family for that matter. What surprised me was this: despite having fruit punch dripping from her face onto her almost new shirt and pink camoflauge pants, my daughter sat there with a stunned look on her face, and arms poised in the requisite "I am soaked" position- she began to laugh. Her eyes lit up and crinkled, and she began to giggle uncontrollably. Her shirt and pants were soaked in spots (thank goodness she wore pink camo), but she sat there while 3 or more women attended to her.Now everyone in the room was giggling, mostly because I couldn't stop myself from taking the Lord's name in vain (see above), and was scurrying around for more napkins.

Under normal circumstances Anna can become upset very quickly, sometimes erupting into tears when things don't go her way. We have come to terms with the fact that this is just Anna, she can be high strung and a little high maintenance at times. *shrug* That's our girl... we deal with it as best we can. Lucky for me, the hostess brought Anna a clean T-shirt; this allowed me to clean her up in the restroom, soak her shirt in cold water, and also hide in humiliation. Even though I had once again managed to make a spectacle of myself, and the fact that she was feeling a little under the weather, Anna was surprisingly cheerful about the whole thing.

"Wow, mom... you sure are a goofball. Ya got punch all over me!" :O)

I am proud of my girl for keeping her cool, and still managing to have a good time despite her mom having wrecked the mauve carpet once again, and her entire (new favorite) outfit. I don't think that I could have accepted the cold wet fact that I would have had to sit there another 2 hours like that, and I am certain I would have been the one in tears. I have told her several times how proud I am that she was able to have a good time after all of that. My girl Is made of tougher stuff than I have given her credit for, and I realized I had taken that for granted.

To finish the story- soon after realizing that I had managed to escape complete humiliation buy having not spilled a single drop of fruit punch on my brand new white T-shirt, I dropped my cake on my lap twice and wrote on my brand new Mossimo Army green pants with an ink pen, by accident. I also realized that though I had survived the whole ordeal without any matter depositing itself on it's accustomed spot on my bosom, the Universe had righted itself and balance was restored once again. Three times over.

On my pants.


Pass the Torch said...


Still LOL...

Okay, composed. I thought I was the only one that did stuff like that! A very pink day for you. And an excellent PTT post - keeping her cool in the midst of mess!

Thanks for joining in again this week. What a hilarious post!


Holly said...


Holly's Corner

Karmyn R said...

I'm only laughing because I feel your pain. snort snort, chuckle chuckle!!! Great post.

Mert said...

Thanks guys, I am glad I'm not the only one who does stuff like this!

Karmyn... Sheeyah, right :OP


Kallie63 said...

LOL I sympathize - I constantly drop stuff on the front of my shirt. Might be able to wear a pair of pants 6 times but can't wear only one shirt in a day... I also did something similar to my DD the other day. She asked me to open a drink for her, which I did - and sent it all over her somehow, still don't know how.

Well done to your daughter for laughing instead of crying :)

willowtree said...

Lol gets bandied about fairly regularly, and often there is in reality no audible sound made. I've written lol when the silence hasn't really been broken.

In this case however, I did actually laugh out loud. Too bad it cost you some clothing, but that's a small price to pay for my amusement ;)

Thank you.

janice said...

what a riot! ROTFL!!!!!

thanks for the idea of submitting my post about my son to Pass the Torch - but I guess I missed it this week :( I didn't think of it and now it is Tuesday night!

kailani said...

I am so proud of Anna for handling the situation so well!

As for you, maybe you should start wearing darker colors? LOL!

Mert said...

Kallie, my kindred spirit- I hhave ahd to bring along a back up shirt if we go out. It's so sad. One time, I could have used a back up to my back up!

WT, I am glad you were amused. My husband read my post last night and finally confided that that would have been the only baby shower he would have gone to, just to witness the calamity.

Janice, submit your post again for next weeks PTT, I think it's worth it! :O)

Kailani, you made me spit my coffee out, I so was not expecting that! :OP Though your idea has some merit, LOL! Where ever did you come up with it? ;O)

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

HAHA LOL!! I TOTALLY do that kind of stuff all the time! My bosom is a magnet for spillages and my elbow, feet, knees, etc. are constantly knocking things over! Last time we had friends over I was putting the wine glass on the counter, taking them from the cupboard above and as I lowered my arm with another glass, my elbow whacked into on already on the counter sending it flying to the floor, then as I tried not to drop the one in my hand, I bumped the wine bottle and ALMOST knocked that to the floor! GEESH!

slackermommy said...

I thought that kind of stuff only happened to me!