It's been a year

One year ago today I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and it's been one roller coaster of a year for sure. It's been a long, dark and scary back alley of a year in some respects; an alley that I thought I was destined to walk alone, desperately looking over my shoulder as I scrambled to find an exit or some safe haven from the horrible unknown that skittered in the dark closely behind me.

Then around a week later my best friend in the whole world was diagnosed, and in the most odd/bizarre/tragic/morbid/comical way... suddenly I was not alone. We traveled  together, huddled in the dark while taking turns shining a flashlight for each other; shedding light on pitfalls and outright stumbling blocks in our path.

We have laughed and cried together out of grief and terror, we have fallen silent and morose. We have joked about the possibilities of the illness, and have related to each other in ways that even our loved ones fail to comprehend. Monique and I both have a better understanding of what we are dealing with, and we have shared a wealth of knowledge with each other.

In these ways, my life has somehow become richer. Through common ground and despair, we have connected on a level I never thought was possible. We had discovered mere months before being diagnosed that we were best friends, already a friendship deeper than ANY friendship I have ever had outside of my marriage. So deep in fact that she asked that I be the godmother to her unborn daughter. :) We have so many similarities, so many odd things in common that it's mind boggling... then to have this happen?

The most mind blowing thing from all of this is that we have not met in person yet. In just 14 days I get to meet my other soul mate, my sister from another mister... my life doppelganger.

I am so thankful and utterly grateful to have her in my life. We have gotten each other through so many rough spots in the last 12 months, and have created a relationship bound (and gagged) in love and laughter since July 2011.

Simply put, I could not have gotten through this last year without her*.

I cannot wait to see where this road goes next, Monique "Bella Boo"!
I'm positive. *wink*





*Of course it goes without saying that I could not have gotten through this year without my loving and supportive husband, who is the yin to my yang. Love you MISU!

Ten thousand down, forty thousand to go...

This is my brain...


This is my brain in NaNo.

Any qwestions?


Oh, rite... not much diffarhrent I guess, only my speeling is noticeably more horribowl with speel check.

And not only am I slightlee more dorky ( and adorable, I think), but my powers of procrastynation are increeesed 10 fohld. ;) *drool*


I seem to be having more luck with posting on my blog. Dern, I should have done NaBloPoMo.

One more thing... does this picture make my nose look big?

I'm so tired.

***This is not a positive post, but I am positively beside myself. More drama with the MIL... proceed with caution***

My MIL decided yesterday that it's completely appropriate to talk to John about family matters in the work place, since she and John work at the same hospital. Oh the joy.

1.First she asked John if he, me and Anna were done being mad at her so she could come over and see the kids.

Great way to start off... placing the blame on us once again. She hasn't made any attempt to see or call the kids for 4 weeks now. 4 WEEKS. But it's our fault she didn't come over.

2. She has completely eclipsed the "she's not as nuts as my mother but still is pretty nuts" thing by telling John that I slapped her that day. Even though I wanted to slap her, I assure you I did not. I pushed her hand away while putting myself between her and Anna and yelling, "Yeah, she's fine!" because she had grabbed Anna by the arm and wouldn't let her go, while repeating "You're OK, you're fine" to Anna. I did shove her hand away, maybe roughly because she wouldn't let Anna go, but I did not slap her. Besides, if I had gotten physical in this circumstance I assure you that merely slapping her would have been letting her off easy.

Besides... lets be honest here for a moment shall we? I was practically raised buy wolves and even though I got regular beatings (some that resulted in scars), I was raised better. I know better than to assault anyone out of anger, especially an elder and family member. Yes I had a rough childhood but I definitely don't use that as a free ticket to hurt other people... I was raised to be polite and have manners... despite there being no clear example of that from my mother towards her children.

3. She told John that this is the SECOND time I have slapped her. Ummmm, no... I am sure I would remember that because I would remember the enormous amount of satisfaction that would come with that.


4. The MIL said, "My sister was there, she'll back me up."

Yeah she'll back you up, sure... even though your sister told me she didn't see what happened so she didn't want to get involved. Like that matters anyway... Like John is going to believe (crazy) you and your sister(the one who didn't see anything) over me.

5. She told John that Anna ignored her after the MIL threw the bucket of water in her face, and if that had been one of her kids she would have made Anna go over an apologize for ignoring her grandmother.

I TOLD ANNA TO STAY AWAY FROM HER before we went back outside, and I also said "I don't know what other crazy stuff nana might do and I don't want you to get hurt again."
But being the smart girl that she is, I'm sure she would have stayed the heck away from her any way... It's not like all faith and trust that Anna had for her grandmother was crushed or anything. *rolls eyes*

Anna didn't do anything wrong, yet she is the one who is supposed to apologize?

6. She told John that the reason she said she "can't be a grandmother here" is because we have too many rules.

Gee, what rules?Like not leaving my kid locked in a car alone, on a 90+ degree day? not letting Anna walk on the 10 foot steep incline filled with huge sharp and pointy rocks, down by the river, just because she was are lazy to get up?Not sitting with her head stuck in the TV while my youngest is wrapping blind cords around her neck for almost a minute?

NO, our rules are to get Anna to bed before 10pm instead of letting her stay up until 1130-12 midnight. Don't let her have too much sugar, and OH, MAYBE you should try feeding her something at say.... 4 hours instead of waiting until 8 hours since the last time she had something to eat. Say no when she asks you to buy her something? I mean really, who is the adult here?

I'm angry that she thought she could do an "end around" and just talk to John about all of this... like he is going to decide on his own- or that she can accuse me of slapping her and I'm not going to have a chance to defend myself and discuss her insulting accusations with her?

WE WILL have a sit down and talk this out BEFORE SHE EVER SEES MY GIRLS AGAIN. She might even need to get herself put on medication before she gets to see my girls again. Shoot, I might need medication before this all gets worked out- for blood pressure and nerves. I told John we will hire a baby sitter, and I will try to be as calm as possible, but the way things work out usually is that the MIL gets very snappy with me when it has been just me and her hammering stuff out, so John will need to be there too so that she behaves herself and so that he is there to help me if I get to angry.

The fact that she sees things so differently from everyone around her should tell her something. What's the common denominator here? HER. But no, she never takes responsibility, every one else is always to blame, she always have to be right.

I'm so tired of this... I thought that when I estranged myself from my mother over 3 years ago that I would never have to deal with this type of (stomachache inducing) insanity again. She really is turning out to be a lot like my mother , including accusing me of things that never happened and believing that everyone should cater to her despite the damage she is doing to them.

I really need to pray that God helps me to be able to voice my feelings and concerns without losing it out of anger and frustration... plus I don't want her to "win" by going that route.


OK, I'm done... I'm coming off my anger high from last night and am just so upset right now I'm in tears. After I have an opportunity to talk to her about things from my point of view this thing may very well be broken... and she might just move back to Texas.


I'm sorry, this is my only real place to vent...

EDIT to add: Marie asked how John feels about all of this in comments... He is completely on the same page as me. He has a bad history with his mother. I think it's almost a good thing he was at work because he probably would have yelled at her. :/

Six degress of bacon

Err, I meant to say Kevin Bacon. Man I could go for a BLT right now. :)

Flaky and preoccupied as I am lately with my trip just in reach, I started thinking last night about my trip to Reno. Reno is just a plane hop away from Vegas... and the last time I was in Vegas I saw Drew Carey waiting for a limo outside the MGM Grand.

Like the complete and utter dork that I am, I just stood there with my jaw open looking like a total mouth breather. At that time, the Drew Carey Show was one of the big shows on TV and I just stood there missing my big opportunity to tell him how much I loved his show and how funny he is. But no, it didn't occur to me to even speak to him until I noticed the gleam of limo tail lights shining off of my nervously glistening nose and cheeks.

This may seem like a series of unfortunate tangents, but I assure you that I DO have a point.

I was thinking that while I am gone for the 4 1/2 days, I don't want to leave my readers with nothing to ponder... so how's about we play the degrees game- only I am interested in seeing who can come up with the least amount of degrees to someone famous. The famous person can be from any arena (TV, Radio, movies, sports, authors, politics...etc), and there is no limit to the amount of degrees you can use.

OK, here is mine: Me>The MISU (my hubby)>The MISU's friend Chuck Laudner>Chuck's cousin Tim Laudner, retired baseball player (formerly of the Minnesota Twins, World Series 1988)

OK, that's my squirrelly idea, so have fun while I'm gone. I'm leaving at 3:45 pm today to catch a plane. Feel free to help yourself to the fridge, but please lock up when you leave. Oh, and don't let the cat out. ;)

This is my face... and, this is my face on crack.

Want to give it a try? Go to this site I found on Stumble... But you need a pic that is 60X50 pixels so have your paint program like photoshop handy to resize your picture. Also I couldn't get the html code they give you to look right so I used a screen capture utility to take a pic of the results... I use Simply Capture.

BTW, don't do crack. Crack is bad. This has been PSA brought to you by Mert.

8 random facts about meme

My blogging soul sistah Ash tagged me for this meme :D Then I was tagged by a very sweet new blogging buddy Cathy for the same meme!

• I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. Off the top of my head, I'm no good at random stuff. I'm a planner and my urge for the spontaneous has been nearly annihilated by becoming a parent. If someone springs something on us I become very cranky at the thought of having to do at least a 1/2 of planning and packing for the ankle biters... crammed into a few minutes.

2. Which leads to this personal observation... I'm a planner and a list maker. If I need to be somewhere I will plan the minutes ticking back from the time we need to be there. I work it all out. on paper. Like a math problem. " We need to board the plane at this time, which means we have to be at the airport at this time, which means we have to leave at this time, which means we have to have the kids ready at this time, which means I have to get up at this time."

I'm hopelessly anal (and sometimes neurotic) about somethings... it can't be helped.

3. I smell my clothes before I put them on, including my undergarments. Even though I know they most likely have been washed with in the last week, I must check for April Freshness. I do not wear the same jammies more than once in a week... I always put on fresh jammies every night. April Freshness rocks. Oh look, I'm being anal again. Imagine that!

4. White noise of any sort makes me sleepy. I get sleepy in the car (unless I'm driving), on planes, when I hear wind rustling through the trees and the drone of the MIL's voice... to the point of almost being a narcoleptic.

5. I'm a carnivore through and through. If I had my way, I'd eat beef for dinner every night. If I'm craving meat I wont be satisfied with anything else I eat. we tried going veggie once, I couldn't hack it.

6. I still worry too much about what other people think of me. Even after I get really angry and go nuclear , even if it's justified... I always feel very guilty immediately after and sometimes during. Neurotic much?

7. When I watch a movie or show that is remotely scary, my feet have to be up off of the floor... and away from open spaces like underneath couches and movie seats. You just never know what might grab you from under there... I fear the seat arrangement "unknown".

8. If I could, I would bring home as many homeless kittehs as possible. Years ago that number was six, six was all that the hubs would tolerate. Now we are down to 3 and sometimes my house feels empty of kitteh-ness. If I could I won the lottery, my dream is to own a farm full of kittehs and to have my own personal vet to do the snip-snips and general kitteh health maintenance.

9. Bonus- I like the word kitteh, can you tell?

Here are a few freebies about me that I find quite amusing... and maybe even a little scary. i saw that my soul sistah Jen's :

10.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

11.

mert -- [adjective]: Extremely extreme! 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Brings new meaning to BYOB

***Low brow humor ahead! Look out people, it's a slippery slope.***

I've been meaning to post this... A month ago or more I saw at another blog that Techie Diva was having a a sweepstakes to win a Wii... and I thought- Why not? To enter, you can complete a survey or merely sign up for the Daily Buzz newsletter.

I signed up for the newsletter to find this in my in box:

SOON! You can turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! We get it that some chicks just don’t want that pregnant look that comes with The Beerbelly.

So, we developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will...Soon you'll be able to take a bottle of wine, or a couple of beers, or a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys drooling, wait they'll already be doing that.

Though I don't need the extra "enhancement", and I don't really go to PTA meetings... I can imagine PTA meetings would be a little more tolerable with the help of a little vodka. ;) The redneck in me is giddy at the thought! The only problem I see is that I prefer my hooch chilled, not at body temperature.

The dork in me thrills at the idea that now I can not only stain the front of my shirt from the outside... but also from the inside as well.

Bring Your Own Bottle? Heck no! Bring Your Own Boobs!

Yesterday was kind of weird!

Hey now... there's a surprise, right? No. Not really. I think you all have come to expect weirdness from me and I like that.

My aunt reads my blog and comments occasionally under the name Anti Yvonne. She saw my post about what inspires me and my drawings, and she was excited that I felt inspired to start drawing again. My Anti is so sweet, she sent me $60 in the mail, in a very cute card. The problem is that the card was already opened, the envelope torn and the money gone. This isn't the first time this has happened. My BIL sent something to the MIL while she lived here, a collectors coin. That envelope was open and the coin was gone. Recently I have had miscellaneous mail open... since the envelopes looked like they had popped open and didn't appeared tampered with, I just thought that these companies were using crappy envelopes.

Now I am thinking otherwise. How awful, that you can't even trust your own post office. Anyway, I called the post office and I am going to go fill out a "riffling form" ASAP with all of the particulars. The postal worker I talked to asked if this had happened more than once and I said yes. I told him about the coin from my BIL. He said in that case, I needed to contact the police. Now, if I'm not mistaken, opening mail is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, and knowing that he was probably trying to stop some sort of "pooh storm" that I might start, he tried to blow me off. Fortunately, this man has not been blessed with opportunity to know me, otherwise he would have known that I don't give up that easily. I told him that the coin incident was from 2 years ago, and that I WILL be down there to fill these forms out ASAP.

I am wondering how far this could go, and my over active imagination suddenly pictured Gil Grissom (from CSI) dusting the inside of the card for finger prints... because if this postal worker is a complete idiot there should be 3 sets of prints. Mine, my Anti's and the idiot postal worker's. I know if I even suggest this, I will get laughed at. I know it seems like a lot of trouble to go through for 60 bucks, but my aunt worked hard for that 60 bucks and it seems logical. Right?

Anywho, my poor aunt is just feeling horrible about it. I told her not to feel bad, but I know how it feels to want to do something good for someone else, only to have some cretin pooh all over the intended goodness. What I loved though was that she bounced back by the end of the email, and said that she hoped and prayed that the person who stole the money choked on it.

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My husband got his very expensive and surprisingly heavy new toy yesterday... all as a result of scrimping and shear will power. Ain't it purty?

Did you happen to check out the price tag on that bad boy? Yup, he has been saving for over 1 1/2 years... the poor guy almost had it earlier but we needed the money for bills. I commend his will power and natural born stubbornness at saving all that money. He really is my hero. Actually, it's for the both of us and I can't wait to get out there and start clicking!

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Virginia of the Virginia Monologues did her very first Thursday Thirteen yesterday. I've gotta tell you folks... Her 13 was pretty darn good, not to mention HILARIOUS! If you have a chance, go check it out . I feel that she and I are kindred spirits, and hope that we become blogging buddies. Go, you'll see what I mean.

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Anna went to her first dance last night, they had a Sock Hop at her school. Anna and I went and she had a really good time. The school hired a DJ, which I thought was really cool. They played songs from Grease and I tried not to sing along, so as to not embarrass the Mini-me. The DJ started to play Hand Jive and told kids to go at it. I snorted at the sight of 80 pairs of eyes staring blankly at the man in the booth.

"Eh, go ask your parents," he said when he realized what was going on. Again silence, as children and parents stared across the room at each other.

I tried to remember how to do the hand motions, drawing attention to myself. "Hey kids, go ask that lady, she looks like she knows what she's doing, "the DJ shouted, pointing in my direction. I quickly put my hands down.

Luckily another lady remembered all of the dance and showed some of the older kids. I didn't dance, though I tried to get Anna to do the twist with me. She put her hand up and said "BAAAAH!" when I asked her to dance with me.

AND so it begins.

She did look really cute though. Even if she is a stinker.

What is the world coming to?

The world is such a sad, horrible place... and it's not getting any better. What is the world coming to when a famous comedian can't even stand to live anymore? Richard Jeni died later from an apparent suicide attempt, after his GF called 911 and said that "my boyfriend shot himself in the face". The cynic in me can recall Phil Hartman's death, where his wife killed him then herself... so I will wait until the final report. I would be curious to see how the GF was reacting... I am not going to slander her, I'm just saying. Maybe it wasn't suicide. Still... so depressing.

I would have to say that Richard Jeni's Big Steaming Pile Of Me is one of the funniest things I've seen come out of HBO, and it had been a favorite of mine. If I saw it on, I watched.

Humor has always been a coping mechanism for me. Just ask my husband... I'm so messed up that often when I hurt myself I am either laughing or cry-laughing. To deflect pain of any sort I often resort to humor, my younger brother is the same way. We are so used to doing this that my brother can keep a joke/funny conversation going for a half hour- at which point we usually tell him to shut up because our stomachs hurt so bad. I can hardly keep up with that kid, he always has me in stitches... and when you get us together look out! The last time we got together , John and Ben's GF Tammy were in tears, though they kept up with the racket pretty well themselves.

Anyway, I think this is why I take it so hard when a comedian dies, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When Chris Farley OD'd, I was devastated. When Phil Hartman was killed, the same. The irony of their lives and untimely deaths is too much.

On a lighter note, what is the world coming to when you can't leave a bag of "to be recycled for money" soda cans and bottles on your own front door step... without someone stealing them in the middle of the night? Oh well, they must need those nickels more than we do. The hilarious part? The 70 dollar stroller sitting right next to them went untouched. We know the thief either has no children, or already has a perfectly good folding stroller- but was in dire need of extra nickels, the nickels we planned on opening a savings account for Emma with . The rest remains a mystery.

****Not really, Yesterday afternoon I saw the guy ride by on his bike eyeballing the bag. I saw him get off his bike and walk towards my front door, and as I got up he saw me through our window and did an about face. The funny thing is I was going to the door to ask him if he wanted the bottles, but by the time I got to the door he was speeding away on his ten speed. I wish the guy would have just asked, instead of sneaking around and feeling guilty later. The upside is that I know that my stroller is safe. Well, at least for now.****

And last but not least, Brand Spanking New Water Heater...

Is that wrong?

I'm it again, dang it!

Please scroll down for my Wordless Wednesday, and for a post asking YOU to help me.

Just kidding! I love telling you guys about my weirdness. But only when you ask me to, right?

I was tagged my mi amiga, My Two Cents to tell you 6 weird things... Believe it or not, I am running out of weird things to tell you about. *Ponders a bit*

1. I like to sing in silly voices, my favorite is a goofy falsetto.

2. I do this because it amuses me, but my family thinks it's for their entertainment. By the way, they aren't very entertained by it anymore*snort*.

3. I used to collect things when I worked because I have OCD, but can't afford to anymore and have cut myself off from collecting. I would obsess about one thing, then eventually get tired of it and move on. Tea cups, lipstick, perfume, purses, shoes, Boyd's Bears, art supplies...I still have OCD, I just obsess about buying my kids stuff now. I still struggle with it, and it annoys me.

4. I am obsessed with the PC game The Sims 2, though my obsession for blogging and Photoshopping has temporarily taken it's place. I have downloaded thousands and thousands of user created content to put in my game, to the point that my game wouldn't load. I have made things for the game including walls and floors, area rugs, neighborhoods, houses, and pets. The little animated movie of the chick eating pizza at the bottom of my blog is Sim Me. Sim Me is chunky like the real me, with freckles. All you Sim Freaks out there, let me hear you HOLLA! OK, I am probably freaking you out right now... moving right along...

5. I MUST eat something sweet, usually chocolate, after eating something spicy.

6. Cats and children are usually drawn to me. Probably because they can feel that I find cuties- fur or not- irresistible. this was the case when we were infertile, which made our infertility even more heart breaking.

There... that wasn't so hard! Since most of the bloggers I know have already done this and sometimes many times over- or they simply choose to share their weirdness on a regular basis, I wont be tagging anyone. I had fun doing it My Two Cents, thanks for tagging me! :D