Dear Amber- AKA Cable Monopoly Customer Service Representative From Hades,
I just want you to know that by not reaching through the phone and pummeling you with the nearest stick like object- or better yet driving down there to assault you with my own stick like object... I probably saved you and me a lot of heart ache, and well, quite frankly for me- jail time.
Suzie,I suppose that when you told me that I was mistaken, that no- I didn't keep my appointment with said cable monopoly (MEDIACOM), and that the cable man had not knocked on my door to tell me that he was reconnecting my cable, then a few minutes later did not knocked again to ask me if my service was running properly... in essence you were calling me a raving lunatic because I had imagined all of that BECAUSE the little black box in front of you said so. Oh no, the computer couldn't possibly be wrong! I'm sure that you might believe that all the employees of the cable monopoly from hell are super human and infallible, that they absolutely could NOT have made a mistake.
I simply imagined it all because almighty and magical thinking box on your desk said so. According to you, my cable was never hooked up though you just admitted that you sent someone out to disconnect the service because we never paid the reconnect fees. Well, darling... how exactly does one disconnect something that was never connected, in YOUR opinion? Mystical electronic box of words, right?
No Brittany, a cable man of average height and weight did- I assure you- knock upon my door and stand withing it's threshold to inform me that he would be doing me the kindness of reconnecting my cable. AND he did indeed grace me with his presence yet again to ask if my service was working properly.
Just know that as you yelled over me and refused to hear my concerns I saw my life flash before my eyes , including the parts where I stand up before the judge to read my essay and plea for leniency titled "Why Beating Someone Senseless With Their Own Headset And Keyboard Is Wrong AND What I Learned While I Was In Anger Management Camp For The Last Three Months"... to be sure, Tiffany, you aren't worth the trouble.
My dear, interrupting me, accusing me of being a delusional idiot, speaking to me in a sarcastic tone, and refusing to accept the fact that we had indeed paid the reconnect fee that was reduced by one of your coworkers from $27.50 to $10, after you telling me that that was a mistake and we had to pay the full 27.50, and being a complete and utter unaccommodating shrew has cost your company $1200 a year. We will NOT be paying your 27.50 plus first month's service, in fact we WILL be taking our business elsewhere.
Chew on that.
Oh yeah, one more thing... I spared you 6 months in a body cast. You can thank me later. *wink*