Thursday, May 17, 2007

Cable Monopoly From Hell

Dear Amber- AKA Cable Monopoly Customer Service Representative From Hades,

I just want you to know that by not reaching through the phone and pummeling you with the nearest stick like object- or better yet driving down there to assault you with my own stick like object... I probably saved you and me a lot of heart ache, and well, quite frankly for me- jail time.

Suzie,I suppose that when you told me that I was mistaken, that no- I didn't keep my appointment with said cable monopoly (MEDIACOM), and that the cable man had not knocked on my door to tell me that he was reconnecting my cable, then a few minutes later did not knocked again to ask me if my service was running properly... in essence you were calling me a raving lunatic because I had imagined all of that BECAUSE the little black box in front of you said so. Oh no, the computer couldn't possibly be wrong! I'm sure that you might believe that all the employees of the cable monopoly from hell are super human and infallible, that they absolutely could NOT have made a mistake.

I simply imagined it all because almighty and magical thinking box on your desk said so. According to you, my cable was never hooked up though you just admitted that you sent someone out to disconnect the service because we never paid the reconnect fees. Well, darling... how exactly does one disconnect something that was never connected, in YOUR opinion? Mystical electronic box of words, right?

No Brittany, a cable man of average height and weight did- I assure you- knock upon my door and stand withing it's threshold to inform me that he would be doing me the kindness of reconnecting my cable. AND he did indeed grace me with his presence yet again to ask if my service was working properly.

Just know that as you yelled over me and refused to hear my concerns I saw my life flash before my eyes , including the parts where I stand up before the judge to read my essay and plea for leniency titled "Why Beating Someone Senseless With Their Own Headset And Keyboard Is Wrong AND What I Learned While I Was In Anger Management Camp For The Last Three Months"... to be sure, Tiffany, you aren't worth the trouble.

My dear, interrupting me, accusing me of being a delusional idiot, speaking to me in a sarcastic tone, and refusing to accept the fact that we had indeed paid the reconnect fee that was reduced by one of your coworkers from $27.50 to $10, after you telling me that that was a mistake and we had to pay the full 27.50, and being a complete and utter unaccommodating shrew has cost your company $1200 a year. We will NOT be paying your 27.50 plus first month's service, in fact we WILL be taking our business elsewhere.

Chew on that.

Oh yeah, one more thing... I spared you 6 months in a body cast. You can thank me later. *wink*


Pamela said...

the cable guys get paid by piece work...

and you may have had to fly to India to choke the phone lady

not much job pride, huh

Daddy Forever said...

Tell me how you really feel, Mary. Come-on, don't hold back. :->

My web hosting company suspended my account twice this month and posted a note on my sites to contact billing so everyone in the world will think I didn't pay my bills. Turns out my site was crashing their server because someone sent a bot to attack my site.

Good luck. Too bad we don't have Paris Hilton's lawyers on retainer to help us.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Yeah I'm with Pamela, I bet you do have to go to India to choke anyone!

Karmyn R said...

That's why I let my husband make those type of calls....he is much more intimidating than me (well, he yells less and doesn't get flustered)

Holly Schwendiman said...

Oh the joys of the technology world where human common sense and courtesy is replaced with hardware. Sorry for the pain in the rear. We've had the cable guy out multiple times and gone through 3 HD DVR boxes in the 3 months - it totally stinks!


Jenny Ryan said...

UGH! So sorry. I feel your pain.

Once last year I almost had to transport myself through the telephone wires in order to bludgeon to death the "help desk" person who was "helping" me set up my fax machine.

Karianne said...

Why can't I get someone like that to do my collection work on our acocounts?

I'm proud of you for using restraint, I think.

Anyhow, hopefully you will get better service elsewhere.

Judy said...

Oh, Mert... let us know how you really feel. Ya know, holding back on your emotions isn't good for you ;-)

We have Mediacom here and, thankfully, we've not had any of the problems you have. I don't blame you for looking for an alternative! Hope you find it soon.

Freddie Sirmans said...

Just browsing, very interesting.

DK said...

I just dropped by to see how you are... and now I know! I believe the 4th level of Hell is reserved for cable companies - oh, and insurance adjusters. They definitely belong there, too! I'm soooo sorry you're having all this trouble. Hang in there!

wolfbaby said...

I so know that feeling.. and totally feel your pain. How frustrating