Thursday, August 30, 2007

How to survive life in a cubicle: A book review

I often wonder what my life would be like if I worked in an office... I am a stay-at-home-mom but I actually don't think my life would be all that different. I mean I do have deadlines, demanding bosses, all vacation time must be approved months in advance, and despite many, many promises I have yet to receive a raise. Oh yeah, and the benefits package is complete pooh- pun intended.

I am always amazed at the people who can manage to work so hard in an office environment yet find the time to blog, and if it were me... this is what my day would be like:

Anyway, I was recently presented with the opportunity to receive books for free (Collins, an Imprint of HaperCollins Publishers), no strings attached except for reviews on the books that I enjoyed reading. Since school started a week ago I decided that since I have only one ankle biter at home, I might have a little extra time on my hands. Besides pondering what I want to be when my kids grow up, I thought I would use this time to catch up on a little reading!

Cube Monkeys: A Handbook for Surviving the Office Jungle
is the first book I have read for review, and considering I just watched one of my all time favorite movies, choosing this book to review was a hilarious coincidence.

Cube Monkeys covers all the bases to coping with life in cubicle hell, such as:

New twists on dodging the bullet for a day and Calling In Sick... "I can't stop the ringing in my ears, so I can't hear what you're saying. If it's okay I take today off, let me know. Wait, I can't hear you. I know, if it's okay I take a sick day, just don't say anything. Did you say anything? I'm just going to hang up. Is that okay? If it's..."

The origins of the Neck Noose and what your office Wardrobe says about you... "Beige two-piece business suit: Smart and highly practical, these suits can go from office to hamper back to the office because you didn't have time to go to the cleaners after [your child] got his head stuck in a bait bucket. They usually have rich textures and subtle patterns- perfect for camouflaging baby vomit."

10 suitable greetings for when you'd rather say "Leave me alone!": " 'Give me just a second." Close your eyes and say softly to yourself,"It's okay to ask coworkers for money, it's okay to ask coworkers for money...' " And, " 'I'm too busy picturing you naked to talk to you right now.' "

This book contains many other hilarious sections such as:

Boss-to-English Translator

Fake Doctors Notes

Game: Blame The Temp

Defusing The Loaded Question

Hide And Seek: Advanced Avoidance Techniques for the 4:59 PM Assignment

Time Killers: How To Look Busy Even When You Are Not

So if you are looking for The Survivor's Guide To Not Going Postal , this book is sure to give you a laugh- and on the bad days at least good chuckle- when you start to feel those neutral burlap covered cubicle walls closing in.

After all, you don't really want to turn into this guy, do you?


Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

This sounds like a great book that I may just have to pick up!! hehe! Office Space is one of my all-time favorite movies too!

maggie said...

cool. i wish i could review movies for free. LOL.

and leave my red stapler ALONE

Holly Schwendiman said...

eeeeee yaaaaaa. I love the Office movie. I wonder how many times a day I tell someone to stay on hold so I can finish blogging...ROFL


Just Me said...

That blogging video is hilarious!