Yesterday, my day started off pretty good. Anna's school was delayed 2 hours for snow and ice, and for once we were able to have a relaxed morning. Well, except for the fact that she insisted on letting me know every few minutes that a) she should be in school right then ; b)she really wished she was in school right then ; c)she hoped it wasn't too much longer before she could go to school.
I actually managed to get some laundry in yesterday morning, which is highly irregular. It is sad to say that I actually wanted to put some laundry in, and felt a great deal of satisfaction as I set aside 2 baskets of folded miniature socks and shirts for the ankle biters.
Emma and Anna even helped, and I spared Emma future embarrassment as I struggled to decide what was more important- snapping that picture of her with Anna's underwear on her head and having an illustrated short story with tremendous entertainment value, and even possibly a bribe/first date fodder for her teen years- or being able to sleep at night. Seen as I often have trouble sleeping anyway, that was a tough one. I decided that Emma would present to us many more situations that could provide entertainment for the future, so I graciously let this one go.
After John took Anna to school, the day went on a steady downward spiral. Emma- possibly disappointed that her plans for screeching and sparring with her sister had been delayed- became upset and clingy. My Blog-fast was all for naught, and I spent most of the day sitting on the couch with an alternately grumpy and clingy ankle biter.
I was determined to watch something we both could enjoy, but again she had other plans. I popped Dreamer into the DVD player, and next 1 1/2 hour went a little like this.
"Booze Coos day a-day, momma?"
"No, Blue's Clues isn't on right now. Look at the Horsey, honey... isn't she pretty?"
"Ummhmm, Booze Coos?"
Omitting the fact that we have several Blue's Clues tapes and DVDs, and reveling in the fact that she wont be able to reach the DVD player for another 5 years, I said, "No Blue's Clues, babes. Horsey."
A whole 2.5 minutes later..."Booze Coos a-day? I wan Booze Coos." If nothing else, I have taught my children persistence, and I am hoping that later in life each of them with be CEO's on the Fortune 500 , and the very least lawyers.
This is pretty much how it went the length of the movie, but we took a small intermission to argue over lunch.
After the movie finished, and she had her first nap, I rewarded Emma's persistence and state of quasi contentment with... you guessed it- Booze Coos.
Fast forward... laundry, laundry, Emma's up, snack, laundry... dishes...Anna comes home from school... Emma has her second nap... Mommy succumbs to a nap on the couch while Anna plays and watches the Disney Channel... start making chicken enchiladas, Daddy's home... eat, burp relax... watch John tense and twitch, trying not to kill his children because both of them are behaving like perfect beasts... all while I watch from the safety of the dining room while talking to my bro in Maryland... remembering as a kid how I hated it when my mother shared my childhood blunders with who ever she was on the phone with- but continued to laugh with my brother about how exasperating kids can be when they tell you you are ugly...
Ahhhh, finally, it's bed time for the yard apes. It's my turn to put Emma to bed. By the way, did I forget to mention that Emma new favorite word is HUH?
To shorten this already painfully long post, please insert Emma's new favorite word at the end of every one of my sentences. Every 3rd HUH, tack on an "Oday, momma" (OK, momma) and/or "I wan hug" . Start.... Now.
Lay down. Lay down. LAY DOWN. OK, one book then it's night-night time. One BOOK. ONE BOOK! No picking nose. No pick. NO PICK. OK, night-night, I love you. I LOVE you. I LOVE YOU, now LAY DOWN!
Next Emma started with the "whats dat's". I answered about 4, and then pretended to fall in to a sudden and deep sleep. She didn't fall for it though, and continued the "whats dat's" while poking various parts of my face. I figured she would eventually become tired of poking me in the eye, then laughing maniacally in my ear after I flinched... but I realize now that the flinching was her big pay-off.
Next Emma reminisced by chanting the Blue's Clues theme, "Booze Coos day, adayyyyyy. Anon Booze Coos day! Booze Coos day, adayyyyyy..." until I noted the time (10 pm) and said that was enough, it's time to go to sleep. HUH's ensue.
I roll over and pass out from exhaustion despite my earlier nap... and wake because my sweet, dear daughter is making sport of tormenting her momma once more with one of her favorite bed time games since the tender age of a year, "tickle momma's lips with a single forefinger, and watch her bat the tickle away." She has become so good at this game that she no longer needs to watch for proper finger placement, or watch to enjoy it. She has had 10 months of practice, she's a pro.
I tell her to knock it off.
"I wan mink mome, momma."
"Your pink comb is downstairs, you can get it tomorrow."
"Whu mink mome, momma?"
"Whu mink mome, mink mome, mink mome. I wan mink mome." Pause...
"Mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, mink mome..." Pause...
"Emma, you can get-"
"Mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, mink mome, Iiiiiiiii wan mink mooooooooommmmmmme..." She turns to face me, an inch separating our noses.
Lying stiff as a board, eyes clenched shut, I let out a loud exasperated sigh.
"Oday, momma." She rolls over and falls asleep, at precisely 10:52 pm. I am regretting the second nap, (and the fact that I decided against the "underwear on the head picture", because she earned it. By earned it, I mean future humiliation for her, giggles and elbow nudges for me and John.) and make a mental note to never- ever let her have a nap at 4 pm again, no matter how badly she needs one. Especially not on my day to put her to bed.
On the bright side, now I have a new favorite word. Actually two.