Wednesday, January 03, 2007

What do you get for the girl that has almost everything...

Except tact? Though John and I aren't the perfect parents we'd hoped we'd be, we pride ourselves on having a very well rounded, generally good hearted, and polite (mostly to people she is trying to impress, such as teachers) 5 yr old daughter. We have also taught her that there is nothing more important than honesty, except for chocolate.

Last year at her preschool graduation, Anna was awarded Most Polite, and I couldn't have been more proud.

Being precocious, and also being the daughter of Sarcasm Girl, not much of what comes out of her mouth surprises me. She is a product of her environment.

Last night, we went out to our favorite Italian Restaurant. I dressed appropriately (meaning: clean, not completely wrinkled, and able to withstand bombing- from what misses my mouth- in the boob zone), and donned an adequate amount of make up. Anna is always appreciative of my efforts in the "attempted at primping" department, and likes to tell me how beautiful I am once my war paint is on.

On the return home, Anna piped up from the comfort (and safety) of the back seat.
“Mommy, you look pretty with make up on… but you look ugly without it. I wasn’t going to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings...”

Taking a few moments to hold my breath while laughing so hard it was without sound, naturally after snapping my head back in shock, I finally let out a strangled gasp. This was a sign for my poor husband (who I could tell was trying so hard to contain himself that he sat so rigid and still) to release the ocean of laughter. John told Anna that there is a way to -and not to- say things to people. He gave her an example: Mom, you look really pretty with your make up on. OR I really like how pretty you look with make up.

Later, when we were getting the girls ready for bed, I said to Anna, "So... you think I'm ugly, huh?"

And she said, "Well, you're not as ugly when you have make up on." Then she gave an uncertain smile , as if to say, "I did better, right?"

* I'll take "It sounded like a good idea at the time" for 200.00, Alex*

I quickly changed the subject.

I am thinking she may have missed the point.

So as her 6th birthday looms before me, and I am once again daunted by the thought of entertaining the somewhat appreciative (free pizza or enchiladas), certainly bored and slightly humiliated masses... I wonder to myself what party theme to go with, how many people to invite, how to distract her from wanting a party for her whole kindergarten class, where to have it and what food to serve. You folks that don't have ankle biters are so lucky in this department, you don't even know.

I am also thinking that resolving not to make a resolution was not the best idea. I think I need to take better care of myself. There was a time when I wouldn't dream of leaving the house in sweats and without make up. I remember the days when "getting ready" meant spending almost an hour on hair and make up, and clothing prep. I think back on those days with mixed feelings of remorse and relief. All kidding aside, my daughters comments are a wake up call. Maybe if I spent half as much time blogging and did something more with myself...

*sigh* Well, at least I will have an excuse to put make up on and fix my hair. I will be finding a job as soon as my right leg wounds close up. But for now, putting make up on every day just seems silly. I guess I have mixed mixed feelings about my current state, too.

Never mind that for now. Anna's birthday is the end of February. I need to focus on all the birthday stuff, including finding the perfect gift. Do they sell Strawberry Scented Tact in a Bag? I am going to do an search for a book on the art of subtlety. Maybe I can buy an Easy Button from Staples to find her Edit Button.

"Hooked on Diplomacy worked for me!" :O)


tiggerprr said...

I can so relate to this. I used to be the Queen of Primping. And to sum up my "No primping unless absolutely necessary" policy - I like to quote one of my favorite lines from Office Space, "It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I don't care." I do care, soemtimes, just not when I don't have to leave the house or I'm just running to the Walmart.

Just wait until she's a teen, then you get the whole "OMG I can't be seen with you" thing. I'm really not hideous without makeup, honest. I tell her, so often that when I start to say it, she says it with me, yet, never learns: "It's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it". Someday...

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

Oh my!!! That was a RIOT!!! I would have peed my pants laughing if my son had said that to me. I am the same as you - I rarely wear much makeup. I am a WAHM for goodness sakes - who cares what I look like all day! My son is always stunned by "how pretty" I look when I do dress up to go out. It is cute.

BTW - I am SURE you are NOT ugly without makeup on!

Samantha said...

Dont feel bad, one of my girls told me (earlier today): "Mommy when I grow up am I going to be fat like you?" I was like...uh, it could be worse kiddo! LOL

swampwitchh said...

I love the genuiness of children. I will try to make this between the lines:
at pharmacy with 5 year old, pharmacist is large woman, jet-black dyed hair, false eyelashes, and rather large teeth. She is standing on a platform, we are looking up at her. (Previously, we had found our black angus cow lying dead in the pasture.)
5-year looks up and in a VERY loud voice says, "Look Mom, she looks like Fred the dead cow."

Could I have some valium and a roll of duct tape please?

robc said...

That is sooooo funny!!!!

Janice and I - being twins - are constantly too honest to each other and one of the main topics is how awful we both look without makeup... especially me!!! I have permanent bags under my eyes from all the years of working on a computer all night long. And I almost never wear makeup in my regular daily life... it's terrible... I may have to start wearing makeup before Julia (now 20 months) figures it out.

Too funny....

Susan (5 Minutes For Mom) said...

Ohhhh nooooo....
That last comment wasn't from ROB...

I just published that last comment while logged in with my husband Rob's google account!!!!

ARGH... He must have snuck on my computer when I took a break a bit ago....

local girl said...

ROFL! Now I see why your New Years has just been "ehh" so far! Not only does GG criticize me, but she does it to total strangers. We're going to get beaten up one day if she's not careful! LOL!

practical chick said...

Oh we are sooo related some where down the line... Whilest I am the Queen of Quippy One Liners, the Bry-onicle is the Crown-Prince..

Pass The Torch said...

Oh my gosh that's a hilarious post!!!! Especially, "nothing more important than honesty -- except chocolate."


Rory said...

Surely this isn't what was meant by "Out of the mouth of babes..."? Or maybe it was, because it certainly lights up our lives.

It is hard maintaining a dignified sense of decorum when they come out with crackers like that. Particularly when you're trying to be stern with them. Their timing is everything.

Christine said...

I can just pic you and your husband being stunned at first, then not being able to control the laughter. Out of the mouth of babes.
That is Hilarious!
I also liked the
"nothing more important than honesty -- except chocolate." quote....Priceless!! :)
Here from the Carnival of Family Life.

Desert Songbird said...

Oooo, I can so relate! One day about three years ago, I said to my very cute, very affectionate son, "Ooo, I love you so much, my sweet little boy!" And his reply was, "Ooo, and I love you so much my sweet big fat mama!"


here via CoFL

DigitalRich said...

What a great spirit you have about you. Yes, tact is important, and kids will eventually learn it after social mistakes cost them friends or such. But a good spirit, the ability to handle criticism gracefully, examples of kind and caring correction and direction will take hold in their hearts.

Keep it up.

Here via Carnival of Family Life