Yesterday, I told Anna that- no, we wouldn't be sawing a hole in the dining room table so she could play a prank on her dad. I asked her exactly how we would pay for a new table, "With my good looks?"
She replied, "No... you don't have any."
I fell over laughing, mostly from shock. She asked "What?" a few times as if she really didn't understand what all the fuss was about.
Later last night, as I was about to take a bite of my Quarter Greaser with cheese, Anna informed me that I probably shouldn't be eating that. I asked why.
"Well, burgers and fries are very fattening... and they will only make you F-A-T-E-R."
Later John tried to make me feel better by saying that she was probably just speaking in generalities. I told him that if that were so, she wouldn't have prefaced it with the word MOM, and she wouldn't have added the -ER at the end. ;)
Sheesh. What are they teaching kids these days? Actually, it's probably my fault. I tell her nothing is more important than honesty. Evidently we still need to work on tact.
She has redeemed herself though, today she has made me a "I love you" sign about 5 times with magnets from the fridge, and has made me3 (now 4 as I type this) paper snowflakes because "She loves her family more than anything in the world". What a kid, I tell ya.
Just a few more tidbits to round out this post...
Attention spammers!
I don't have one, therefore I probably don't need your medicine that you claim will make it grow 3 inches.
I already have a perfectly good fake designer watch, I don't need a new fake designer watch.
I really don't need to add 4 inches to my bust line, but if you have something to make it shrink 3 inches- you're in business.
And interesting referrals/google searches that led people to my site (as seen on my site meter account):
Getting the word out (Yes, I have a big mouth)
egg dying contest cartoon
I'd let Tyra feel my boobs (heehee, Slackermommy)
white nerdy (That's me)
*One that is too gross for me to type out, involving diapers- TYVM* (sick SOBS!)
chocolate and mood (you know it!)
corolla drop 100 foot and explode (Well, we about made out little Corolla hatchback explode, but not quite)
cruel to "have an only child"
Why does my mother annoy me? ( The age old question... that I still do NOT have the answer to. I can't wait until my girls start asking that one. Oh wait, Anna does already.)
***Please send more insults ans snarky comments to
mert@screwmyselfesteem.com ,
and have a wonderful day!***
PS- please check out mine and Factor 10's challenge to share your real or Virtual Prom faux pas... We are putting the Dork Spin on Karianne's Birthday Prom coming up on the 14th. :D Here's a teaser... click it to see the detail, baby... you know you wanna. ;)
14 comments:
is that you? what a pretty gown. I'm scared to post mine. It's just sooo eighties
Our daughters must be eating the same cereal...Smarties! Mine was cheating on a game the other night so I called her cheater - cheater pumpkin eater and she replied to me "meanie, meanie - can't fit in your bikini"....NIIIIIICE !!!
OMG! I just went and read the story behind the photo at Dork bloggers. Did you burn the dress after I hope so
and when you did burn it did little demons fly out? I wouldnt be surprised. My favorite is when norm goes "i would never say you are fat mommy because it would hurt your feelings". Thanks buddy. Of course, he does not hesitate to say "mommy please put on your make up so you look pretty again." yeah we are fine tuning the tact too buddy
I don't have a picture - didn't have a prom, long story.
anyway... you do look very promy!
Your daughter kicks!!!! grin.
I love your kid stories!! They always make me laugh out loud :D
I was never allowed to be that free with my parents. As a matter of fact I was talking to my dad last night. He is a golf fanatic and is currently watching the Masters. I, of course, totally mocked golf in my stand-up routine, and told a joke specifically mocking the Masters, which I told to my dad last night.
He laughed, but then he said to me in his very serious Parent Voice Of Correcting His Wayward Child (even tho I am 34 years old!!), "Oh, you can't tell that joke to any golfers."
kids - ugh
Today, my son told me, "I'm tired of listening to all of your words."
What the heck?
I think that must be a common thing for her age, I have a stepsister that went through this stage with the whole "that's fattening" and all the comments that come out sounding pretty nasty, tact seems to take awhile to develop! haha...it was annoying though & I'm not looking forward to Emma hitting that stage someday!
I love that you are putting a dork spin on the prom!
Wasn't there a show called "Kids Say the Darndest Things?"...love your kid stories! :) Hope you had a wonderful Easter!
There's something that can add 4 inches to your bustline? Really? I may have to check that one out! LOL!
Your girls are so funny! Let's just hope they're not so outspoken when they're in public! Talk about a potential embarrassing situation! LOL!
i thought i left a comment here already ... !
i just wanted to say that my "Sugar Bear" is always full of great "advice" like Anna! :o)
Anna is funny. She cracks me up. Sounds like she's going be quite the prankster...saw a hole in the dining table. Ha!
the things kids say... gee i guess i just can't wait till my kids start saying that to me.. NOT...my niecie girl is always tellin me I ain't fat (we all know I am, but it's sweet anyway) and that I am pretty.. maybe they should meet?
Oh Mert, I'm just giggling. Kids are so great - so honest and so tactless! LOL They keep us so humble.
Hugs,
Holly
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