Sunday, July 08, 2007


I actually had several tittles in mind for this post, and couldn't choose:

A. Cruel and unusual punishment
B. Revenge is sweet!
C. Rid yourself of bad habits BEFORE having kids, and save yourself a lot of grief.
D. C seems a little long, and "Mwuahahahaa!" works.

There is no explaining this strange phenomenon that occurs between the time we get in our car and the time we sit down to eat while out... Somehow our 2 brilliant and semi-sweet darling offspring manage to resemble something out of National Geographic.

I think you all know just from "hearsay" that my girls can be 2 handfuls. Each. I assure that though I like to gild the lily at times, my minions need no further help from me. I just tell the stories, I don't make them up. ;)

Today we were able to use our brand new 12 ft wide X 36 inches deep "just add water pool". Naturally after expending so much energy, meaning jumping around and squealing at the top your lungs because despite the 90+ degrees it is outside, the water is only 70- young ones will need a snack or 2 to recharge. Anna is very sensitive to large amounts of sugar , and though I had hoped that she would burn off that granola bar , she still managed to act like a "spaz". A cute spaz, but a spaz non the less.

She then proceeded to contradict me all the way to The Bell, and during dinner. *note to self granola bars baaaaad*

Upon arriving at The Bell D'Taco my kids began to act something akin to chimpanzees. *Screeching, climbing on top of the table, rubbing their dinner on the window...

Just before we started eating Anna asked if I was still going to let her have ice cream, and I said "We'll see." A couple of weeks ago, she caught on and said, "I think that when you say 'we'll see', it really means NO." John and I got a good laugh out of that.

Anyway, Anna says, "YOU said if I was good I could have some. "

And I said, "Yeah, well, the night is not over yet - so WE'LL SEE."

Did I mention the screeching, climbing on top of the table, rubbing their dinner on the window? Oh yeah , right. Yup, more of that despite every attempt on our part to stop the ruckus.

"Anna, do you know what contrary means?" John asked.

"I don't really care. " Oh, grrrr I thought.

"Contrary means always saying or doing the opposite, being bad."

"Yeah, I was right... I don't care."

"Ooooh, guess what you just lost for tonight." I said matter of fact.

Enter big, brown and sad puppy dog eyes. Bummer.

I wasn't going to mention it but I had a hankering for D.Q., that just wouldn't be fair!

"D.Q.?" John asked me with a twinkle in his eye. I gave him the universal "Gee I don't think we should, not in front of the kids" look, with it's complimentary "I dunno" shrug. I though about it for a second, literally.


As we were pulling through D.Q.'s drive through waiting for our order John told the kids that we were going to follow through with our punishments from now on, startingnow. In complete and utter despair, Anna managed, "I'm duh-pressed, so don't even try..."

John and I laughed, "What did you say?"

"I'm duh-pressed, and the one who duh-pressed me... isn't- won't.... NO MORE FUN ANNA!"

Which i thought was hysterical on many levels but also because it sounded like she said "Fuh-nana". I asked her if I could borrow some fuhnanas to make fuhnana bread. She didn't see the humor.

John and I laughed some more, while Anna pugged her ears.

I was feeling a bit mischievous so I mention - after a huge spoon of ice cream- how Anna's mistake was delicious. Then I told John we should do this every time the kids acted up.

But no, I said- there isn't an exercise plan out there that can work off that much ice cream. ;)


Judy Thomas said...

ROFL... I can just see that! AND hear the girls. You'd think they would learn, wouldn't you? Oh, well... there is hope.. they DO grow up... and once again become human.. lol

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

LOL! I actually did laugh out loud when I read about Anna not caring what contrary means. HIlarious!

wolfbaby said...

LOL I have done that a way it sucks but in a way is totally and completly effective.. so long as I can escape the guilt.

Daddy Forever said...

Boo! Boo! You guys are so mean. I prefer to take my kids to the toy section so they can see what I'm not buying them.

Pamela said...

I agree that the most important thing to do is follow through on a threat (the one chance threat ... and no fifth or six IF YOU DON'T's)

The next thing is to choose your battles.

I think you guys may very well impressed them - and they will be listening for the warning in the future.

Keep us posted!

kailani said...

I don't think I have the guts to go to DQ when the kids can't have any. You're very brave!

BTW, Girlie Girl thinks "We'll see" means "No", too. LOL!

Karen said...

My kids are so onto the "well see" thing too!
I'm so happy to read you followed through! Not following through would have been the worst thing to do.
These kids....they'll find any crack and break you. Stand firm.

Maybe a hint. I found, when my kids were smaller, that explaining expectations right before going in somewhere helped a BOATLOAD. "I expect you to sit in your seat. If you don't like the food, you don't have to eat, but you have to be polite and stay in your seat." Sometimes "be good" is too broad for their little minds to comprehend.

Carey said...

Thats funny! Way to go on following through. Maybe they will catch on and behave a little nicer for you.

CDPJ said...

This is an excellent punishment that I will file away for future reference. And truly a great, funny way to start my day. Thanks!

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

I LOVE this post! hehe! Whatever works, at least you still got ice cream!!

Great job!

Dorky Dad said...

Awesome. That's the way to do it! I've got to try that myself.

Modern Mami said...

Evil and genius! Way to go on following through. :D

JAM said...

You could have also entitled it:

Revenge Really is a Dish Best Served Cold; from Dairy Queen!