Monday, April 30, 2007

Carnival of Family Life

This week's edition of the Carnival of Family Life ( who's creator is my sweet bloggin buddy Local Girl) is up at Parenting Toddlers!

I actually managed to remember to get my submission in on time this time. :) despite reminders from Google Calendar and post it notes, I always seem to forget. I'm thinking Ginko.

Care to join me? At the Carnival... not the ginko biloba. Well, only if you want to, let me know.;)

***To get CFL banners like the one above, you can save the banners I made to use if you like. Just click the banner above to see more... and click on the images to see the image in it's true form and size. Then "right click/save as".***

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Bad mommy, Things Not To Teach Your Kids, and boogies.

Yesterday they opened a brand spanking new (and one and only) Arby's here in town. We braved the unknown and went to dinner with the MIL. Anna is not a person who handles the unknown or change well and became teary when I tried to explain the menu choices for kids.

Choking back tears she settled on a ham and cheese kids meal. The MIL offered to pay for Anna's since Anna was going to spend the night, so I told the MIL what she wanted.

"I DON'T want just ham and cheese," she blurted while sniffling back droplets, droplets that threatened to turn into a full blown thunderstorm any minute... So I bent down and rubbed her back and asked her softly what else she would like. She just crossed her arms and glared at me. I asked a few more times, nothing. Before both of us had an out of body experience due to extreme frustration ( because in my minds eye I could totally see the both of us floating up near the ceiling, still about to smack the crap out of each other) ;) , I offered suggestions as to what else could possibly make her dining experience AND sandwich so much better.

"Do you want lettuce and mayonnaise?" I asked, still rubbing her back, trying to remain calm and even toned to avoid further out bursts, because deep down I knew she was angry for taking her someplace where she would actually have to make a decision, the process taking more than just a few seconds. It was all our fault, you see- thus the glares and tears.

She nodded, her shoulders relaxing a fraction, and a hint of forgiveness passed between us as we looked at each other. She rubbed her nose.

"We don't know what you want unless you tell us, honey."

Oh crud. One step forward, two steps back. We are back to glares. Dang, now she is thinking I am trying to make her feel stupid. This kid is only 6... God help me.

"Well, I'm just saying. All this fuss over something simple. Just tell us what you want. No problems, OK?"

I don't wait for the answer and I find 2 tables for all of us to sit. Mere minutes later, and mere minutes away from the One Who Dares To Anger Her, Anna is feeling better and sits across from her nana. A few minutes after that, she is feeling elated and decides that she can resume the usual stuff like calling her mom a dufus.

"Mom, you are a D-O-O-F-I-S."

"Anna , you are a B-U-T-T H-E-A-D."

"A what?"


"Butt head?" she asks, with a comical mixture of disbelief, curiosity and amusement on her face

"Yeah, but I mean that in the nicest way possible, " I say matter of fact , but with a smile on my face. We all laugh.

Except the butt Anna.

"Yeah, well... you're a dufus. And I mean that in the nicest way possible." Again, we laugh. Me not so much.

Oh God. What have I done. My MIL laughs because I am turning red. Fantastic. I suck at this thing called parenting. I only hope that they can learn to function on a low rumble of sarcasm- instead of the full on roar that I seem to be teaching them.


Oh, but wait- there's more!

Tonight my plans of giving my youngest a healthy dose of tryptophans backfired on me. Heed my warning, people! Unlike what you would think, a grumpy and tired toddler plus a bed time snack of milk and bananas does not. a sleepy child. make.

The beagle across the street barks. "What dat?" A dog, I answer.

Lather , rinse, repeat. 242 times. Meanwhile in between, we have established that yes she is cold, yes the fan is too windy, and yes she wants a blanket. I get up and close a few windows and turn off the ceiling fan

Enough, I say- go to sleep.

Oh God, here it comes. NO! Not the silent cry face, which eventually leads to the full on , ear piercing siren blast of a cry- Yup, there it is.

After about a minute, "I wan tee-chooooooooo..."

No- I say- You're fine. I'm not getting up again. We argue for a few minutes about whether or not she needs a tissue, and at this point she probably does - but I refuse to give in. She wipes her nose on her pillow case. I cover her up with her blanket.

"No wan babake (blanket)!" she kicks it off.

Fine- I say_ don't use the blanket.

"I wan babake."

Ok, I offer her the blanket.

"No wan babake!" Repeat again, about 6 or 7 times.

Forget it -I say- if you want an blanket, get it yourself. I'm not doing this "I wan- NO wan" stuff all night, I love you- GOOD night.

I bet you can't guess what came next. Uhhuh. Oh yeah. Crying fit #2.

"I wan tee-chooooooooo..." again with the tissues. For about 5 minutes.

She starts to settle. I ask her if she wants her new Blue's Clues puppy her nana bought for her today. She utters a whine, which I take to be as a "yes". My mistake.

"No wan Booze Doos!" she chucks it at me.

Fine- I say as I chuck it over my shoulder, and into the the dark and murky waters of the green carpeting that is just beyond the raft of her mattresses that are in the corner of the room- No Blue's Clues.

Begin shrieking episode #3. When will I learn? We argue back and forth over the possibility of me rescuing Booze Doos. I stand my ground.

Her crying begins to dwindle, and she turns toward the wall (which is usually a sign that she is tired of terrorizing us and wants to sleep)... I look over my shoulder to peek at her. Her keen powers of perception sense the ever so subtle change in mattress terrain, and she turns to look at me while inserting- AND TWISTING- her second digit up to the first knuckle, in to her precious little nose.

AH! Success! She smiles triumphantly, all the while wielding her prized possession- her Precious, if you will- in the air. I reach over and take it from her before her evil plans to ingest her Precious are realized.

Forsooth, wailing installment #4 did ensue.

"Are you kidding me?" I yell, beyond exasperation... "Your mad because I took away your booger?"

At this point I didn't have the energy to be angry anymore, just incredulous. Which gave way to giggling... which made her more angry.

Some people.

They just never learn.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Mother's Day is just around the corner, you know....

My bud Michelle sent me the link to this really cute site that has something that I would- uhhh... I mean my girls would really love. Check it!

While I was browsing the site, I found some dish towels, pot holders and coffee mugs I would just die for, and adore. So many choices, what to do!

Make a list for the hubs, that's what!

"A clean house is a sign of a wasted life."

"Being unstable & b#tchy is all part of my mystique."

"I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning. Just not as it applies to me."

"Drink coffee - do stupid things faster with more energy." *Heh heh, that one is sooooo me.
Here is the mug version.

"Inside me is a thin woman screaming to get out...I can usually keep the b#tch quiet with chocolate." ***SO naughty, but so funny***

"You can't scare me. I have children."

"Put On Your Big Girl Panties and Deal With It"

"Both of us can't look good at the same time. It's either me or the house."

"Housework can't kill you but why take the chance?"

"I haven't had my coffee yet, don't make me kill you."

You know you want one ;)

Which is your favorite?


Yesterday we planned to head out to Anna's school for the PTA sponsored book fair. Anna is doing so well with her reading, and we are so proud of her, we want to continue to nurture that desire. John and I were both slow starters as children, but now both love to read. I am so glad this habit has rubbed off on Anna.

Because we have been so busy lately, I am ashamed to admit the we were a little behind on baths. Neither of the kids were funky per se, but I wanted to make sure that Anna's skin was getting darker from those Serbian/Mexican genes and the Spring sun... not from becoming her own science project. I know that when we are busy like this it's better to give the girls a bath after Anna gets home from school, because if we wait until the evening, we either are out or too exhausted. ;)

So knowing all of this, and the fact that we were going out last night, they got a bath yesterday after school and snacks. After finishing Em, I was working on Anna next. Being that she is easily distracted I had to remind (chide her even) for lallygagging. It's not unusual, actually its a daily occurrence- several times a day.

Anna, hurry up and get dressed. I still have to clean your ears and comb your hair. I wouldn't want to have to show up at your school looking like this.

You mean with un-matching pajama pants and t shirt?


And your hair a mess?



Yeee-es, I haven't even had a shower yet. Wouldn't you be a little embarrassed?

A little?

*wide eyed stare, with raised eye brow*

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. *I try not to laugh, but do*

*she giggles*

When I told John last night he chuckled and said ," Hmmmmm."

As if to say- Gee, I wonder where she got that from? Yeah, yeah... beating a dead horse. Hel-looo-ooo. You know you've been married a long time when sarcasm is limited to one sound, and your mate knows exactly what you are thinking.

It's a good thing I love this kid. ;) My husband too. :D

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #26- 13 things you COULD do if you didn't have cable/internet because your husband forgot to pay the bill for 83 days.

1. Sort your sock drawer.

2. Out of desperation, consider chipping paint from the siding over your garage.

3. Search your car for loose change and gum.

4. Transfer 2 whole rooms of stuff in an erratic and senseless pattern over the span of 5 days, not unlike one of these.

5. Make a sock monkey.

6. Floss. A lot.

7. Blog in your head- write mental posts about how you would like to kill your husband for forgetting to pay the cable bill, where to hide the body parts, wonder what all your blogging friends are doing, and if they will forget about you while you are gone.

8. Watch your washing machine do a complete wash cycle and/or wait anxiously for your dryer to DING.

9. Ponder the pros and cons of giving up the only place in the house you can call your own so that your 6 year old can have a place to call her own.

10. Teach yourself how to play the drums. On Tupperware.

11. Try to guess how many spam emails you have waiting for you.

12. Since you don't have cable or internet, you can now hear the crashing and clanging of your life wasting away... and you now have time to wonder what you are going to do with the rest of your life.

13. The very last hour of your desperate quiet, sit on the couch and do nothing while you wait for the cable guy, feeling thankful and exhilarated when he knocks on the door, and try to restrain yourself from jumping all over him like an excited puppy.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

5 days without modern conveniences *TWITCH*

The good ones anyway! I tell you it was a long five days, nearly as long and painful as 22 hours of hard labor without drugs, followed by an emergency c-section... all while suffering through a raging case of bronchitis. Coughing with a 4 inch incision? Yeah that kind of pain.

Yesterday, I was so near the end of my rope that I sat on the couch, doing absolutely nothing for an hour while waiting for the cable guy to show up. Now that's sad! Salvation came just in the nick of time, when my knight in shining work pants and his noble Mediacom steed came to my rescue. I did not ride off into the sunset with said knight though... I was too busy frantically making sure everything worked before he left.

Besides, he doesn't have as nice of a butt as John's.

EDIT TO ADD: I forgot to mention that not only did was our cable disconnected, but because it was behind 83 days behind we lost our AWESOME package (movie channels/cable, internet). Now , we no longer have movie channels, and because the prices have gone up we can't afford movie channels. To top it all off, without movie channels... IT IS COSTING US MORE MONEY THAN WHAT WE WERE PAYING BEFORE- WITH MOVIES.

Speaking of butts- finally checking in yesterday to read your comments on possible punishments made up for it. Pamela's comment was the best! You made me and John laugh. Slacker Mommy's comment was a close second, but it wasn't meant to be. We were without Internet and cable for 5 days... what else were we supposed to do? :D

Actually, we played musical chairs with the 2 bedrooms Saturday, Monday and Tuesday. You know, the 2 bedrooms that house 2 adults and that 2 pretty, pretty, prima donna princesses share? Guess who were the losers? John and I are now sharing a room with Emma, and Anna is very happy to have her own room back. We moved Em into our room after taking our bed off the frame. The good news? We only have to walk a foot to climb into bed to soothe a fussy, grumpy, half asleep Emma back to sleep in the middle of the night. The bad news? She only has to walk a foot to climb into bed with a fussy, grumpy, half asleep mom and dad.

When I have a chance, I will take a picture of the adorable butterfly removable stickers I found at Home Depot. I put them in a floating wave across two walls and up the side of a window, it's pretty cute and no painting was involved.*Phew!*

We have Emma all settled into her "new woom", and it's all been toddler proofed. Next we have to sort through 6 years worth of girl stuff to make Anna's room acceptable. Our girl already has plans for mom and dad to paint over the flowery wall paper, and paint grass, blue walls for a sky and paint a sun around her brand new Hunter ceiling fan. Sometimes an imagination is not a good thing. ;) Not for mom and dad anyway. All in good time we tell her. She also found butterfly stickers, but she knows it has to wait until we prime and paint the wall paper.

Of course squabbles broke out downstairs as the parents toiled away upstairs, including Anna purposely bugging the snot out of Emma ( no cable ya know), and complaining that we were taking too long... until dear old mom told her to straighten up- " We're doing all of this for you, you know. Do you think I want to share a room with my kids? Uhhh, no! We know you need your own room, and we are doing this so that you can have your own space, and so that you and your sister do not kill each other... So knock it off and zip it before I change my mind!"

In order to do all of this , huge amounts of furniture jockeying was required, including getting a bed frame out of storage and 2 sets of box springs. In order to get the box springs out of the garage, we had to clean off the messy porch so we could take a short cut through there...You get the idea. Plus giving her our dresser (why am I doing this again?) because we can't afford to buy her a nice one right now ( by nice I mean one that isn't compressed wood that will fall apart before she makes it to college). We finally got her bed together last night right before bed.

It's been an interesting 5 days. You want to know the funny part? I got a note from Anna's school stating that last week they were having a period of "no TV" for 3 days and they were encouraging everyone to take part- you know " to do something!". I gave Anna's school a mental razzberry and thought to myself- Yeah right! I do what I can to soothe the savage beasts, I thumb my nose in your general direction!

Haha, I guess the joke is on me. They got their 3 days plus some *grumble*. At what price, a mother's sanity? *sniff*

Anywhooo, I leave you with 2 Anna-isms.

While frantically trying to soothe the beasts with a plethora of DVD-age, Anna and Emma watched Ice Age. Sid the sloth was running in circles screaming like a girl because his tail had caught fire. Anna said:

Stop, drop and roll, ya freak!

This weekend we were out and Anna had mentioned that she thought it was raining. John asked her what had clued her in, all the tiny drops of water that just hit her body?

Anna seemed upset at her dad's sarcasm, and turned away to look out of the back seat window. I explained that we had just been joking with her, we didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

"The damage has been done, my friend," she said, smiling... and we all burst into laughter. :D

Friday, April 20, 2007

I am experiencing technical difficulties...

And do not have internet. Or cable. Or my phone for that matter. They all went mysteriously kaput yesterday mid blog...

Because my husband, the MISU forgot to pay Mediacom.

For 83 days.

I love him.

But he's got some 'splaining to do... Hell hath no fury, like 2 girls without cable.

And a momma without the net. I am typing this from his desk at work.

Any suggestions for punishments? Because I won't have any of those lovely things until next TUESDAY.


Edit to add: I'm still at his work desk... as a punishment I have tiled this image on his ginourmous 24 inch monitor...
It's the prize for the Friday the Dorkteenth contest... I told him he has to keep it up on his screen until I get internet back.

Appropriate I think. :D

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Two is plenty, thanks.

See Wordless Wednesday below. :D

You know you blog too much when... your 2 year old - who is sitting on her daddy's lap- asks her daddy- who is surfing the web-

"What dat, daddy? Ah bog?"

I had to laugh, John just shook his head.

Her new thing is "nuffin". As in Emma went on a little rant and tacked a "momma" on the end. I asked her what she said.

She crossed her arms, and gave me the smooshy, grumpy face. "Nuffin."

Last night-

I hun-gy, momma.

Ok, I'm making dinner right now.

1 minute later: I hunnnn-gyyyy.

I know, babes. I'm making it. It will be a few more minutes, is that OK?

Smooshy face/crossed arms- No.

Too bad. It's not done yet.

Exaggerated arm crossing- HMMMMMMPH!- gives me a side ways glare and exits to the living room.

The playpen is actually being used for more than toy storage now... Time outs and terrible two's are in full session.

I'll say it again... I don't know where they get it from. *bats eyes innocently*
And no (insistent, tactless relatives) we don't want to try for a boy. Look what we managed to accomplish without even trying. Two is plenty, thanks.

Wordless Wednesday- A day at the park

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A fat chick's perspective

I just wanted to let you all know that I started a new blog for myself... I am going to try to lose some weight. Instead of boring you all with my trials and tribulations in the war on adipose here, I will bore you on another blog. :D

If you want a fat chick's perspective ( and the skinny on being fat in today's world), you can read my new blog A Skinny Girl Trapped In A Fat Chick's Body. If nothing else, you can stop by and cheer me on. ;)

More proof that I am a dork...

Guess what I did this weekend , y'all? Hmmm... what did I do this weekend? Not much except go shopping with the MIL and watch movies. Oh yeah, I Bedazzled my iPod. I found an iPod case at Walmart for 1.50$... I was in bargain hunter heaven! The only problem is that I came home with 4 *snort* Black, pink, aqua, and chartreuse .

Anyway, I spent over an hour adding bling to my new iPod case- and that was with help! Anna had to help me because my aging eyes couldn't tell the difference between clear and the light green bling.

Well, here is what my case looks like after I was through.


Actually, I think it needs more. A girl can never have enough sparkley stuff. I know less is more, but wouldn't that make more fantastic?

Anna brought home a note today confirming what she has been telling us all weekend... that she needs an old shoe ASAP for a Top Secret Mother's Day Present. Anna has never been one for keeping a secret secret, and she let a few details slip such as the project involving spray painting, and she wanted to be able to add some sort of bling to it.

Of course, the subject of bling came up as we were in full on bling mode (BTW, could I say bling more in this post? Blingity bling bling bling.), and she wants to use my extra jewels left over from my Pimp My iPod project for her Top Secret Mother's Day Present.

Cool! I kept asking if she knew when she needed the shoe, she said she didn't know yet.

Then I wondered to myself if the teacher had actually ever smelled her students feet. If she had, I'm sure her little TSMDP wouldn't seem like such a good idea. Unless she is planning to devote an entire can of spray paint to each shoe, thereby virtually shellacking the thing!

Gee, I hope it's not going to be a candy dish. ;)

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Brings new meaning to BYOB

***Low brow humor ahead! Look out people, it's a slippery slope.***

I've been meaning to post this... A month ago or more I saw at another blog that Techie Diva was having a a sweepstakes to win a Wii... and I thought- Why not? To enter, you can complete a survey or merely sign up for the Daily Buzz newsletter.

I signed up for the newsletter to find this in my in box:

SOON! You can turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! We get it that some chicks just don’t want that pregnant look that comes with The Beerbelly.

So, we developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will...Soon you'll be able to take a bottle of wine, or a couple of beers, or a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys drooling, wait they'll already be doing that.

Though I don't need the extra "enhancement", and I don't really go to PTA meetings... I can imagine PTA meetings would be a little more tolerable with the help of a little vodka. ;) The redneck in me is giddy at the thought! The only problem I see is that I prefer my hooch chilled, not at body temperature.

The dork in me thrills at the idea that now I can not only stain the front of my shirt from the outside... but also from the inside as well.

ring Your Own Bottle? Heck no! Bring Your Own Boobs!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Tupper... where?

I forgot to mention in my last Thursday Thirteen that this Wednesday I had the joy of attending my MIL's Tupperware party.

The very pleasant Wendy was talking about an amazing product that could steam as well as fry in the microwave. She beamed as she announced that she used this handy-dandy steamer to fry a hamburger in the microwave, and it was important to used the colander with the product while cooking so that all of that fat would be drained away from the food.

As she said this and displayed the steamer in The Price Is Right fashion, she glanced down and smiled at me reassuringly- who just so happened to be sitting not a foot away from her because I was a late comer and couldn't find anywhere else to sit- just as she said the words all of that fat...

If that weren't bad enough, her gaze lingered as she said it. Now, don't get me wrong. No one is more acutely aware of my fatness than me. AND I don't mind the occasional conversation about how to spare myself a few hundred fat grams... but I would rather the conversation not be one sided and in front of 20 other people. But, hey- that's just me.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you might have noticed the odd use of sarcasm. Just a smattering, you know. I try not to over do. Imagine if you will, the real life me... in a land where sarcasm abounds. Naturally, a few sarcastic remarks flittered through my flustered brain, but I did not share them. Well, at least vocally.

I must have had this look, this sheer and unabashed look of bewilderment meets "I'm going to grab that steamer and strain some fat alright... while I shove it-"

Across the room, my MIL gets a glimpse of that all familiar look (I am sure) she sees me wear so well, and so very often... from center stage next to Wendy. Short , petite, blond and just so darned cute Wendy. Naturally, having seen the look, and being able to distinguish the look from my other variants of the look, she started to guffaw.

Someone shouted a startled "Jill!" as if to say, how dare you make fun of your DIL. Still laughing, she managed to defend herself by saying, "What? I was laughing because of the look she had on her face!" Then she gave me a smirk with crossed arms.

Now the room is roaring because others had apparently seen the look as well , but had refrained from reacting out of nervousness. And if you know me, I tend to laugh at most embarrassing situations (such as someone tripping on the stairs, bodily functions of strangers in the stall next to me in the restroom, and of course in the consistent and always entertaining event that I am actually the one being embarrassed)... once I get started giggling, I have a really hard time stopping.

So, 2 minutes later as a flustered Wendy tries to continue with her presentation- I continue to have spurts of giggles, causing everyone else to start up again. At one point, after about 3 minutes the din had died down... I was biting my tongue literally to make myself stop laughing. I felt another giggle fit coming on, so I hid my face behind the latest Tupperware catalog.

I'm guessing the fact that I was trying as hard as I could to hide my whole frame behind a single catalog while the whole of me shook, causing the catalog to make a crinkling sound- which I assure you is like a water buffalo trying to hide behind telephone pole- I'm thinking they all figured out I was laughing again, and they started to roar for another 2 minutes, while a befuddled Wendy stood helplessly watching.

I put my catalog down on my lap, laughing but defeated. I looked right at the MIL and silently mouthed to her in front of God and everyone (while pointing directly at her) , " I am soooo going to kick your @ss."

This did nothing but fuel the flames, and quite a few were wiping back tears.

Poor Wendy.

I'm thinking I won't be invited to the next Tupperware party. At least not if Wendy has anything to do with it.

In my dreams! (My Friday the Dorkteenth Dorkfession)

Ok, I wont actually be entering the Dorkteenth contest because:

Anyway, I figured since everyone else is posting their deep, dark, horribly dorky secrets... I would post something I had never admitted to on my blog before.
* I know you're cringing right now honey, my sweet, sweet MISU. Sorry!*
It is, after all, Dorkfessional Friday and Friday the Dorkteenth!

Here it goes... When I was pregnant with Anna, my oldest, I had naughty dreams about this guy.
Yes, that's right folks... Leslie Neilsen. I'm a bad, bad girl.
At least I have pregnancy to blame. Right?

When I was preggers with Emma, I had another embarrassing "dream" involving this guy:
No, no... not the young, hot, Fonzie version...

...That's right, uhhh- this guy!

If you haven't left yet in disgust, or haven't run screaming from the room...
I recently (4 months ago, I think?) had a dream about this guy:

YESSSSS, that's right... just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, eh?
Ummmmhmmmm, THIS GUY.

Only, I wasn't knocked up this time. So I have no excuse.
I guess pale, freckled and DORKY can be hot.
Just look at me!

I kid people, I jest.
About me being hot, not about the rest of this post unfortunately.

I think it's safe to say that I find a sense of humor very sexy in a man. *snort*
At least my dream lust interests are getting younger. Right?


Thursday, April 12, 2007

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #25- 13 things I was doing this last week, when I SHOULD have been blogging.

Spring ( or lack there of right now, I have at least an inch of snow in my yard right now) has once again sneaked up on me, and I have been overwhelmed this last week. If Spring wasn't so charming, I'd give it a good spanking and a harsh talking to. ;) Here are 13+ things I did this last week when I should have been blogging.

1. It was spring break for Anna, so instead of having one little booger to chase after , I had 2 raging, kicking, hitting, hissing, screaming princesses to tend with. Ain't love grand?
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2. Speaking of which, Emma had her 2 yr check up in the last week (shots, OUCH!). Our family doc is very down to earth, not to mention hilarious. He asked how Anna was doing... when we told him, he said his 6 yr old is the only kid he has had so far that he wanted to strangle. ;) I agreed, and said that I had told John in the past that now I know why some animals eat their young.

I knew there was a reason why we picked him.
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3. Even though we don't do the Easter Bunny/basket/egg thing ( we are believers that Jesus is the reason for the season), we had an Easter hunt consisting dollar store erasers, balls, candy and cookies... in our house. It was 35 degrees outside.
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4. We went to John's cousin's (Jason) for Easter brunch. I have to tell you, it was one of the most enjoyable, unstressed Easters I have ever had. Also It was fun to watch Emma and Elsie (Jason's 17 month old toddler) together, you could see that they wanted to poke and smack each other at times but they actually played well with each other. All bets were off, we'll have to do that another time- but I think Emma could take her.
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5. I finally received my shiny new washing machine. We are still waiting for the dryer though and have a loaner for now. Friday we had to move a lot of furniture, scrubbed out the laundry room once everything was out, and took doors off the hinges to get that beast in the tiny laundry room. We had to move our stove and fridge too, but it was worth it. BTW, we named the new w/d set Fred and Wilma. Wilma really misses Fred and hopes he gets here soon.

6. Since then , I have done 25+ loads of laundry, in nearly half the time. So what should have taken me a 2 weeks only took me a week, including comforters. Hooray.

7. Spring cleaning: We finally got our bathroom sink in (thanks uncle Bruce!), but the bathroom isn't painted. So, all the bathroom crap that I had in my bedroom closet finally made it's way out. I can now actually step into my closet.
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8. And- I cleaned out the linen closet, removing old toiletries, ect.
And- Cleaned out my kitchen junk drawers.
And- cleaned out my office armoire.
And- organized the girls toys downstairs and upstairs.

9. And- scrubbed out litter boxes. PU!

10.And- organized the bookshelves on our window seat area... plus removing MORE adult books (not those kind of adult books, you filthy Google'ers!) to make way for MORE kids books.

11. John and I rebuilt my desktop computer, and I installed (again) all of the 100+ gigs of CRAP I thought I couldn't live without.
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12.A few days later... my desktop pooped out on me again, and I got to do it all over- being the fourth time in a 3 weeks when you factor in me moving most of it off the old tower onto a laptop, then on to a new computer... which completely sucked up and clubbed to death any remaining energy I would have had left for blogging, had I not had all of those computer woes.
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13. Since I had all that free time left over (sheeee-yeah, right!), and wasn't blogging... I had more time for quality hubby time.
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Well, I'm sure I could add a few more things but... I don't want to. "...Cuz, all I wanna do is blog some fun... I've got this feeling I'm not the only one..."

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Friday the Dorkteenth Contest... Dare to get your Dork on!

Sticky Post! Scroll down for more recent posts

As quoted from the Grand Dork Mistress- Factor 10:
I realize I'm a week early, but there is Dorkxiety and stress about getting the posts up and the whole cursed day of doom thing.

Plus perhaps reading other people's tales of Dorkdom will inspire our reluctant Blogging friends.

Four simple rules, really.

1. Write a post on your blog, or provide a link to your dorkiest moment, if it has been previously blogged.

2. Top it with the fabulous Banners designed by Mert (that's me! :D), or include a link to this post.

3. Enter your name and link in the linky box provided. (at Dork Bloggers)

4. Go read other people's Dorkfessions, and vote anytime during the week of March 14-21.

The winner of the popular vote will get a $20 giftcard, and the custom winner button designed by Mert (hello, me again! :P Without the MERT watermark, of course).

And possibly some cheesy Dorkbloggers swag. Begging friends and family members to vote for you is encouraged.

...So post those "Dorkiest Moment Ever" stories!
Check out the rules and post your links here . :D

Friday, April 06, 2007

Evidently, if you have nothing nice to say...

Then say it to me! **Please note the sarcasm... I'm not really being serious*** :D

Yesterday, I told Anna that- no, we wouldn't be sawing a hole in the dining room table so she could play a prank on her dad. I asked her exactly how we would pay for a new table, "With my good looks?"

She replied, "No... you don't have any."

I fell over laughing, mostly from shock. She asked "What?" a few times as if she really didn't understand what all the fuss was about.

Later last night, as I was about to take a bite of my Quarter Greaser with cheese, Anna informed me that I probably shouldn't be eating that. I asked why.

"Well, burgers and fries are very fattening... and they will only make you F-A-T-E-R."

Later John tried to make me feel better by saying that she was probably just speaking in generalities. I told him that if that were so, she wouldn't have prefaced it with the word MOM, and she wouldn't have added the -ER at the end. ;)

Sheesh. What are they teaching kids these days? Actually, it's probably my fault. I tell her nothing is more important than honesty. Evidently we still need to work on tact.

She has redeemed herself though, today she has made me a "I love you" sign about 5 times with magnets from the fridge, and has made me3 (now 4 as I type this) paper snowflakes because "She loves her family more than anything in the world". What a kid, I tell ya.

Just a few more tidbits to round out this post...

Attention spammers!

I don't have one, therefore I probably don't need your medicine that you claim will make it grow 3 inches.

I already have a perfectly good fake designer watch, I don't need a new fake designer watch.

I really don't need to add 4 inches to my bust line, but if you have something to make it shrink 3 inches- you're in business.

And interesting referrals/google searches that led people to my site (as seen on my site meter account):

Getting the word out (Yes, I have a big mouth)

egg dying contest cartoon

I'd let Tyra feel my boobs
(heehee, Slackermommy)

white nerdy
(That's me)

*One that is too gross for me to type out, involving diapers- TYVM*
(sick SOBS!)

chocolate and mood
(you know it!)

corolla drop 100 foot and explode
(Well, we about made out little Corolla hatchback explode, but not quite)

cruel to "have an only child"

Why does my mother annoy me?
( The age old question... that I still do NOT have the answer to. I can't wait until my girls start asking that one. Oh wait, Anna does already.)

***Please send more insults ans snarky comments to ,
and have a wonderful day!***

PS- please check out mine and Factor 10's challenge to share your real or Virtual Prom faux pas... We are putting the Dork Spin on Karianne's Birthday Prom coming up on the 14th. :D Here's a teaser... click it to see the detail, baby... you know you wanna. ;)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Happy Birthday, baby! (still haven't figured out the camera, LOL)

If you cant see it, I hope this link works! :D

Baby Booger Birthday... finally

Yes, I am finally getting around to Emma's birthday! Why is it that you simply do not have enough hands when it comes to birthdays and holidays? I feel really bad that we have about a gazillion pictures of Anna, but have very little of Em. Poor kid. If I could have just sprouted a couple of extra pairs of arms like Stitch, I could have taken video while bringing out the cake.

I'm thinking that buying a new digital camera right before her birthday (and not taking or having the time to actually figure the dang thing out) might not have been the best idea. I mean, this thing has more buttons than a wedding dress people!

Besides the MIL showing up early and offering to help, then not helping all that much because she is standing around complaining about her job, meanwhile I am wasting time by repeating directions of what I want done... so I end up doing it myself, the party went fine.

Well, actually we got a break this year from John's aunt (the MIL's sister) who usually does the same thing, and sucks the life force out of me by complaining about her husband that she is off and on with, who she has been trying to divorce for over 2 years now. She then usually continues throughout the whole party... sometimes to people she doesn't even know.

So, at least we didn't have to endure that this year, only this time it was the MIL complaining about her job and coworkers because she was pissed she got a bad review for being "snappy and moody to coworkers and customers". Grrrr! Last year, we were lucky enough to have both of them complaining at the same time, same party. I had to keep walking away from both of them last year so I wouldn't make a spectacle of myself by ripping their heads off .

When I throw a party, though I appreciate the thought... I don't want you calling an hour to 1/2 hour before the party keeping me on the phone about stupid crap that you are just going to spend the whole party talking about anyway. No matter how hard I organize with lists and time lines... I am usually not showered and still in my grungy clothes when guests start to arrive, so i don't need you keeping me on the phone- when I'm going to see you in a half hour anyway!

As per usual, I killed myself making too much food ( burrito dip, quesadillas- with all the fixin's, pb&honey sandwiches and mini hot dogs for the kids, apples with pb dip, carrot sticks and cucumbers with ranch dip) because when I don't we run out of food. When I make too much food, nobody eats it and my husband complains. Then you have the MIL making fun of me because I made too much food before the party started, and a guest who was John's coworker asking me why I had made so much.

This same coworker( whom my husband invited, the day before the party), who has been very pleasant to me in the past was now acting very distant and as if he didn't care to be around me because his (on and off) wife came to the party with their 4 yr old son. He would stare at me blankly for trying to make conversation, then guffaw at my husband a few seconds later- meanwhile his wife sat there acting as if someone had farted. My guess is that she has a problem with jealousy, and this is why the coworker acted as if he had never met me before, and acting as if I was being too familiar with him as if I knew him. After everyone left, they were still here, so I plopped down on the couch to rest my feet a minute and tried to join in the conversation. Both of them looked at me as if I were intruding, and avoided eye contact when John left the room to go to the bathroom.

The neurotic person that I am (and being that I can't stand it when someone doesn't like me for some unknown reason), I sat there briefly making a mental checklist: Cleavage covered-check!, Boogs?None..., inappropriate behavior/crudeness- none, toilet paper attached to my person-none, politeness- check!

I jumped up after only sitting for about 2 minutes and resumed cleaning the kitchen, i decided they weren't worth me getting myself into a mental frenzy over.

Next year, pizza. That's it... I don't care anymore. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't... and people act like "Gawd, pizza? Were having pizza at a party, how lame." When I practically kill myself for 2 days making food, I've made too much and I'm an idiot. If I serve pizza, I'm a lazy cow.

Actually, if I could do it all over again... I'd win the lottery and move to a remote island and give no forwarding address. So, if one day I drop off of the face of the earth, you guys will know what happened. ;)

Bitter? Yes! If I could, I wouldn't invite any people at all and have small parties with just us ans MAYBE the MIL, but then other family members act hurt when we don't invite them (like recently when Anna decided she didn't want a family party, but a class party). Again- damned do/damned don't. I've got the MIL saying, "Back when my kids were kids, we served cake and ice cream and that was it. Blah blah, I'm better than you... blah blah , snide remark. Blah."

***Yes, well... back when your kids were kids you liked to marry men that your kids hated, despite that fact that they told you that they hated them. Then, you liked to ignore your 15 year old son leaving home with just the clothes he had on his back, and you didn't go after him despite knowing he was leaving because your asshat of a new husband tried to make your kids mow down an acre of over grown grass with a hand sickle, while you sat there and did nothing. Then YOUR son refused and when the asshat tried to make him he left. And this is why to this day, you and YOUR son do not get along... because you put a man first before your children. That and the fact that you couldn't stand that he preferred to live with his grandma, your mother.***

She then decided that she needed to be the first guest to leave, because she had important things to do like GO TO TARGET. To which I said (in my head), Good riddance! Then, as if hearing my thoughts- which she usually does the opposite of- she insisted that she stay and help put food away, despite me insisting like I always do that I don't need any help. (I hate putting my guests to work when they offer, and only do it if I absolutely have to, which is usually before the party) I actually enjoy and crave quiet at this point, and don't mind cleaning up because I don't have people getting under my feet.

Other than that, the party was great. Emma was miss dainty again this year and spent 45 minutes picking sprinkles off of her cake, completely ignoring the actual cake, and sampling a bit of ice cream. She had a blast opening gifts this year, and big sis helped by handing me the presents that were kept out of Emma's reach in the playpen. Anna had a friend from school over, and they played most of the party, stopping briefly for sustenance. :D

Emma received a lot of books, thank God because the toys are beginning to take over( despite us going through them every few months and giving away what we don't use), and are stuffed into every nook and cranny in our little brick house. Emma wants to spend her money ( "MY MON-EEEE!") at Build a Bear, and buy her new bear a cell phone like the one her big sis has for her bear, to which Anna is excited because she is always looking for a reason to go since getting her bear the beginning of March.

I am glad it's all over... and only 11 months away for the next one. My Brother Ben has the same problem, his kids birthdays are a month apart too. We are trying to make up reasons (read as excuses) as to how we can justify to our kids later why we had one party for both of our respective kids. ;) I'm thinking though that we each will have to resort to bribery.

Besides, combined parties would give our kids legitimate reasons to be emotionally scarred and hate us later on in life, because it's not like they will come up with anything original of their own. *rolls eyes* Right?

Do you think Emma will notice that I spent her gift cards on booze?

I can say one thing in my defense... I must really love my baby boogers to go through this every year. Now twice a year. *sigh* Where's the Kahlua?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

All for the love of one baby boy.

I don't remember exactly when I met My blogging friend Karianne, but I do remember that from the start she has been such a sweet, uplifting, and inspiring soul. She has been through a lot over the last few years, and though she has her ups and down like the rest of us, she never seems to let those external forces affect her. It doesn't matter what is going on in her world, she has never had anything but kind and supportive words for others.

Karianne recently had a moment -while stopped at a light in traffic and gazing at a beautiful gown in a window across the street- where she realized that there would be no need for her to ever wear a beautiful gown, ever again... These thoughts would eventually lead to a fund raiser for the adoption agency that she adopted her son Becken from. She wrote:
I called my sister at work and said, "I'm so sad that this part of my life is over. No more proms, formals or weddings. And if you are lucky enough to be asked to be in someone's wedding, you don't get to pick your own dress or the color. I just can't believe that I won't be buying any more beautiful dresses."
Fast forward to around Christmas time. I was looking through a consignment shop by my house, rifling through their pretty gowns that were gently worn. The price tags were so reasonable, less than $50 each, but I had no where to wear them. What would the point be in buying one?

And then I had an idea. And I called my sister again.

I told her, "I"m having prom for my birthday this year!"

She said, "Hmmm. Okay?", very hesitantly.

So here is how, Karianne's Birthday Prom & Fundraiser was born.
In her second post about her prom ideas, Karianne said:
But here was the catch. If we were going to party on this scale, what about gifts, etc. I felt weird at having over 100 people for my birthday. So I turned it into a fund raiser for Bec's orphanage. The music and the photographers have donated their services...

Here is the plan. Admission is $5. It is byob. We are having a money tree. We are having a spare change drive. We are having a 50/50 raffle. The photo profits will also go to the orphanage program. Our agency has a program that provides scholarships for their staff to further their education and this is where we want the money to go. I had the fund raising coordinator for the agency cracking up on the phone yesterday getting instructions on how to do this thing right...

The hall is like a bomb shelter almost, so imagine the prom on Footloose. I think that we are doing foil stars and streamers. It is costing me$300 for the rental, so I hope that we can bring in enough to pay me back and then donate 300 to the cause. I might be dreaming on this one though.

My buds and cousins around here are my prom committee. We are doing decorations. Bringing cookies and appetizers. We are also electing prom king and queen.
In her 3rd post, she talks excitedly about the news of her prom spreading like wildfire amongst friends , coworkers and family, and how everyone is feverishly trying to find a beautiful prom outfit. :D

I asked Karianne if she had thought about a donate button from PayPal after another person had asked if they could buy a Virtual Prom Ticket. It sounds like setting up the PayPal donations to go to the orphanage the took some doing, but she was able to figure it out with the help of her brother.

Yesterday, Karianne wrote a beautiful post about her journey to find Becken, I encourage you to read this inspiring story of love and loss.
Our baby has been home almost one year and we are so thankful for him and for his caregivers that cared for him for 5 months before us. We are donating our money from Prom, (after expenses) to their scholarship fund as a way to try to pay them back in some way for loving our son...

(quoted from her Virtual Prom Ticket post)

Now, you really won't get a "prom" ticket, but you'll know that you are making a donation, through me, to AAI for their staff scholarship program. And I'm so thankful in advance.

The button is over on the right if you are feeling the need to share some $ with Ethiopia!

If you can, think about donating. I really think this is a wonderful idea, and I had the honor of being the first to donate through her PayPal button on her blog! Thanks for taking the time to read this, I know that Karianne, and her family would be grateful for any donations they would receive on the behalf of Becken's adoption agency, Adoption Advocates International.

Karianne know that if I had enough money, I would be squeezing myself into a prom dress, too. ;) But know I will be thinking of you, your friends and family on this wonderful night (April 14th, right?)... and will be there in spirit.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

My Music/ 5 Things About Me Meme

I was tagged by Amisare Waswerebeen at Music Makers and Dreamers to do a music meme. To quote Amisare:
I am to list seven songs/cds that I have listened to recently and elaborate a bit. I am then to tag seven other bloggers with this blessing of a meme.

I was also tagged by my new blogging amiga Ash to:
Five things you've never revealed on your blog, and then tag five people! ( to which I said, " Oooh, fartsnargle! I have no idea what I HAVEN'T revealed already... because I'm an emotion(al) exhibitionist ya know, LOL! I'm really going to have to wrack the 2 brain cells I have left. :D")

The multitasker that I am, I will now attempt to intertwine 2 completely different memes. I will label what meme I am answering by putting Music, 5 Things or both at the beginning.

1. Music/5 Things: I love this song, I just want to don a sun dress and frolic in a field of daisies when I hear this . Seriously. Corinne Bailey Rae is one of my new favorites because she is an old soul, and her voice has this buttery yet raspy quality about it.

2. Music: You probably already know that Sheryl Crow is one of my favorite artists. I don't know exactly what I Don't Wanna Know is about, ya know... but the song is so melancholy I can't resist it.

3. Music/ 5 Things: Though the "egg donor" is what and who she is... I am grateful that I was able to glean a few positive things from the insanity of my childhood. One being manners, the second being a love of all types of music. My mother exposed us to rock, R&B, Motown... Anyway I'm sure I'm not alone in believing that this song is almost better than chocolate.

4. Music: Sarah McLachlan is my all time favorite female artist. Sarah has gotten me through some rough patches in my life. Another example of buttery... her voice reminds me of butterscotch. I think we can all relate to thins song. ;)

5. Music/5 Things: I have to admit that I am very fickle about music, as eclectic as my music tastes are. When I first heard this album by Keane, I was a little disappointed. I thought it lacked something, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But, I kept playing it and this album eventually grew on me. I have this habit of obsessing over one CD and playing it to death until my poor husband can't take it any longer, and until I have played it so often that I couldn't possibly listen to it again... for at least a month. I don't just do this with music though... I am obsessive-compulsive, and have done this with blogging as well.

6. Music/5 Things: This kid is so talented, I don't even know where to begin. My hubs love this album as well. You already know that I like some rap, but I am ashamed to admit that I have had quite a few boy band albums. I won't list them all but I really was into Backstreet Boys for awhile, and still like them. But not in a creepy way. ;)

7. Music/5 Things: Two months ago, I was in a really black mood. There are times when I am angry and depressed. Sometimes I am angry with myself for letting the past still affect me so much. Anyway, instead of feeling guilty for being depressed, sometimes when I am alone and feeling this way, I like to listen to this kind of music. I spend about 30-40 minutes singing along and head banging... it's cathartic for me and I almost always feel better. Weird, huh? My favorite group for the last few years has been Linkin Park, but after my hubs suggested I listen to Breaking Benjamin, they've grown on me.

For the music Meme, I tag:
Daddy Forever
And Squeeeee! (Ash, LOL!)
Bonus tag:My bud Michelle!
For the 5 Things meme, I think everyone I blogging know has done it, but if you want to, join in the fun! :D